What should I do about the colleague I slept with?
October 22, 2012 6:18 PM Subscribe
I had sex with a female colleague and her husband. Now I think she regrets it. I'll be seeing her at work tomorrow. What should I do?
posted by anonymous to human relations (31 answers total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
So, what happened was this: we spent some time together to celebrate an event of her (I am female, and straight - or so I thought). We drank. We went back to her place, where her husband was. She stopped drinking. We kept on. (Yes, clearly I need to do something about that, but that is not what the question is about.) I'm lonely - I asked him dating questions - we kept drinking. He told me about the freedoms within their marriage. I asked him if it was okay with his wife if I kissed him, and then if I slept with him (I know, I know). He checked and said she was sleeping, so I went to bed (he undressed me).
Next thing I know, his head is between my legs, and she's on the other bed. At some stage, he switches and I do her breasts, with my mouth & hands. I have never done anything like this before, but she has. He comes back to me, finishes me off and they go to bed together.
I text her thanks for the evening out, and mention weird dreams due to excessive alcohol. She texts back and mentions lack of sleep. From that point to now, Facebook contact that drops off. He (4 days on) has just announced on Facebook to all his friends that he is dropping off that site for a while.
I'm paranoid that I have upset their marriage, and that she is angry with me. I feel terrible that my drinking problem may have ruined my friendship with her, and affected her relationship with her husband.
Do I do anything, or pretend it didn't happen? I'm going to see her at work tomorrow for an extended period. Should I be prepared for her to be angry (rational or justified or not) with me? If she is, what should I do?
If it matters, she is gorgeous and much younger than me. I am overweight, and single.
Yes, I feel rotten. Yes, it's even worse that it happened on her event-night. Yes, I have had inappropriate sex before due to alcohol. Yes, I have made an appointment with my therapist. Yes, I need to quit alcohol. That's not what this question is about.