keeping an erection...

May 28, 2013 12:45 PM

I need the hive wisdom on this. My GF and I have stupendous, earth-shattering sex. I'm 58, she's 59. Really. We're both very open, intuitive, and energetic. I take @ 10mg of Levitra (generic) an hour before hand, and it works well. When we start out, we often partake in a modest amount of cannabis, and then I focus on her. I usually have a solid erection before we start, but once I start my ministrations, it lessens, and by the time she is ready for "it", it's usually deflated.

Once she or I shift our attention to me, it'll come back to full erection, and everything's groovy. In an hour, I'll sometimes have two orgasms- almost always one. She'll have dozens of them, or more.

I've come to believe the reason for my penile "checking out" is that I'm so focused on her, it's natural it retreats. But that seems rather counter-intuitive, since I love her madly, and it thrills me to thrill her, so I should be getting MORE excited.

Does the MeFi collective think I'm right? I welcome any questions or comments, of course.

posted by ecollie to Human Relations (7 answers total)

Best answer: Penises are not excitement speedometers. They are complicated body parts and they will not always reflect your emotional state. You can be excited and also have your penis check out because there isn't anything going on physically, or because it's cold, or because you have poor circulation, or because of a hundred other things. Everything's fine.
posted by Jairus at 12:48 PM on May 28, 2013 [8 favorites]

Yup, penii are funny creatures, and notoriously self-centered and quirky. If your love and lust manages to convince the little guy that it's really all about him, he's likely to stay puffed and bragadocious; otherwise... well, if your lady's ladyparts happened to dry up a while while engaging in fellatio, but she's otherwise enthusiastic about the act, so what? A little more foreplay is NBD for such a great couple as you two, IMO.
posted by IAmBroom at 12:57 PM on May 28, 2013

Mod note: A couple comments removed, can people please try to stick with that whole "being helpful and constructive" thing that makes this place work?
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:03 PM on May 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Dude. I'm 33 and mine works the same way. If the erection comes back when it's needed, what's the problem?
posted by 256 at 1:27 PM on May 28, 2013 [3 favorites]

I don't have a penis, but my experiences with them lead me to believe that this is entirely normal and not a reflection of how intense your desire is. Sometimes erections/lubrication aren't the best barometer of how things are feeling and that's normal.
posted by quince at 1:52 PM on May 28, 2013

I'm a 23-year-old woman and my vagina/lubrication lvels work very similarly. My boyfriend sounds like you. No problem.
posted by stoneandstar at 7:05 PM on May 28, 2013

Some years back, I read a quote from a prostitute to the effect that "Fat guys are eaters. Tall, skinny guys are a long hard fuck." The observation fits with my limited experience: There is a correlation between health/fitness and erectile function.

You don't mention your fitness level but I wonder if there is some room for improvement in that area. Also, if you have any health issues, especially any that impact circulatory health (diabetes, blood pressure, etc), that might be an avenue to work on. It likely would not solve it entirely and probably would not be a quick solution but you might see improvements in a few months.
posted by Michele in California at 10:23 AM on May 29, 2013