Is that a remote in your pocket or is she just happy to see me?
December 5, 2010 7:06 PM   Subscribe

SexToyFilter: The GF and I both share a fantasy that requires a quality, wireless remote controlled [external] vibrator. Can you suggest a specific toy? Or a website with either professional reviews or thoughtful customer reviews? [NSFW details inside.]

It's a shame, but it's difficult to find reviews separating quality toys from the shoddy "gag" gifts. We're looking for a quality product that we'll be happy with into the future.

For clarity, we're only interested in a clit vibrator. We'd like to use it secretly in public so we're looking for a few specific qualities. We'll need one that, at least on the lowest setting, isn't overly loud. Another concern is the size of both the device AND the remote. Overall comfort for her under her clothes is important. A remote with multiple settings would be nice, specifically one with a quick short pulse that I can just briefly tap; the whole idea will be to tease. Being capable of particularly strong vibrations would be good, but not a deal breaker.

If you have any advice related to this kind of remote play, please feel free to share.

If you'd like to anonymously contribute, feel free to email me or mefi mail me. I'll be happy to post your answer for you.
posted by Around Tokyo to Human Relations (12 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
Check the product selections at Good Vibrations or Babeland. They both sell only quality toys, no gag gifts, and have lots of customer reviews of their products.
posted by phoenixy at 7:13 PM on December 5, 2010

Just searched through both sites. Neither really had what I was looking for. Know any more sites?
posted by Around Tokyo at 7:36 PM on December 5, 2010

We'll need one that, at least on the lowest setting, isn't overly loud. Another concern is the size of both the device AND the remote.

Blowfish specifically addresses the noise question in their detailed description of the Astrea remote-control vibrating panties (currently at the top of this page):
The vibrations are quiet but not silent so while you could use the toy in a movie theater or walking down the street and no one would be the wiser, unless there was some music playing at your remote-enhanced romantic dinner, the waiter might think your cell phone was ringing on the vibration setting. Do note that if you are sitting on a very hard surface (a park bench, for instance) the motor may be quiet but the knock of the vibrator against the wooden seat could be loud. Choose padded seats for maximum discretion.
Note that the panties and vibe are not attached, so (they say) it's easy to put them in a different pair that fit more comfortably than the provided pair.

The down side: they describe the (small) remote as having an on/off switch rather than gradations of speed or intensity.
posted by Elsa at 7:44 PM on December 5, 2010

Consider abandoning the criteria that it must be an external vibrator for the clit. There are a number of wireless, remote-controlled eggs meant to slip inside. This completely eliminates the issue of comfort beneath clothes and pretty much eliminates the noise issue.

They are plenty stimulating, especially since they can provide stronger vibrations.
posted by desuetude at 8:03 PM on December 5, 2010

Consider abandoning the criteria that it must be an external vibrator for the clit.

No can do, she's not interested. We'd sooner drop the other criteria and just use it in loud situations while she wears a dress (like concerts or the alike). Any recommendations along those lines?
posted by Around Tokyo at 8:14 PM on December 5, 2010

Over at fleshbot, they have a regular review column, marital aid test kitchen, that might have some useful information for you.
posted by annsunny at 8:15 PM on December 5, 2010

Hello there! Friendly local sex toy purveyor here!

Remote control toys are really not as much fun as one would think. Most of them require you to be quite close to the person wearing it, and the battery life on them is kinda terrible. They also tend to be sized for smaller ladies. An especial problem with clitoral style toys is that they do tend to migrate around when the wearer is walking or sitting. I've heard of women getting a clit wedgie. This is exactly as painful as it sounds.

That said, your best bet may be something like the Calex butterfly. It's a one speed, but it's pretty much the only one on the market that's small enough to be comfortable, it's reasonably quiet and the range is decent.

However, the sneaky way to do this is to get a remote egg and tuck it into her knickers. The Calex 7X egg has a seriously good range to it - we did a field test where we got about 30 metres out of it - and it has seven functions, a low-med-high and a bunch of pulses. Adjust surreptitiously for pleasure. It'll be bulky as hell, but under a floofy skirt you should be fine.
posted by Jilder at 8:41 PM on December 5, 2010

No can do, she's not interested.

Sorry, I don't know anyone who's reported back on a butterfly-like device that actually provided very good stimulation. My last defense of internal options is to note that walking around with an egg whirring against one's g-spot is a surprisingly whole different thing than using thrusty buzzy toys.
posted by desuetude at 8:42 PM on December 5, 2010

Desuetude: Do you have a particular recommendation?
posted by Around Tokyo at 9:02 PM on December 5, 2010 has great product reviews.
posted by gumtree at 9:16 PM on December 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

The "Oyster" at might be what you're looking for.
posted by ambulatorybird at 10:01 PM on December 5, 2010

Without any personal experience, I'd second the butterfly and/or contact the lovely people at A Woman's Touch. The owners are wonderful and very thorough when it comes to selling quality products, despite the semi-cheesy packaging of this particular thing.

Check out their site or give them a call; they're friendly and eager to help.
posted by Madamina at 9:20 AM on December 6, 2010

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