Zero to Hero in one month?
July 11, 2010 10:43 PM Subscribe
If I haven't loved myself for months, can I make myself love myself in a month?
lately, i've been caught in spell of depression and general self hatred/narcissism that it's been hard for me to see my friends. often times when i see them i emotionally commit suicide when i feel like i can't handle being around people anymore. i know that i can do anything i choose to do with enough courage. i've got to be the best man at my friend's wedding in a little under a month and i'm going to have to be around a lot of people. is it realstic to be able to go from feeling shitty about myself and being really negative and unfriendly to feeling great about myself and being really positive and friendly in a month?
p.s. i am seeing a therapist (and taking meds) and she knows all about this problem.
lately, i've been caught in spell of depression and general self hatred/narcissism that it's been hard for me to see my friends. often times when i see them i emotionally commit suicide when i feel like i can't handle being around people anymore. i know that i can do anything i choose to do with enough courage. i've got to be the best man at my friend's wedding in a little under a month and i'm going to have to be around a lot of people. is it realstic to be able to go from feeling shitty about myself and being really negative and unfriendly to feeling great about myself and being really positive and friendly in a month?
p.s. i am seeing a therapist (and taking meds) and she knows all about this problem.
Response by poster: thanks hapax. that's what my intuition has always told me.
posted by tunestunes at 10:54 PM on July 11, 2010
posted by tunestunes at 10:54 PM on July 11, 2010
Yes. Make you bed first thing every day. No matter what.
posted by snowjoe at 11:03 PM on July 11, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by snowjoe at 11:03 PM on July 11, 2010 [2 favorites]
This question has an absolute ton of stuff buried in it. Let's get some practical stuff out of the way:
1. I've never been a best man at a wedding, but I've witnessed best men at weddings, and unless I'm missing out on a lot of back-room obligations (of which there probably are some), the public duties of a best men are not all that onerous. You say a speech, basically, I think? You stand in the proximity to the marrying people? Maybe a little bit of extra attention is on you generally throughout the proceedings and party. There may be more to it, I'm not sure. I say this not to contradict you but to try clarify your problem, for yourself and for us. Is it the speech that's got you worried? What is it exactly? Is it the being around a lot of people? It probably seems like this huge undifferentiated mass of spectacle and obligation. Maybe it would help (you, and us) to break it down a little.
2. What do you mean when you say "when i see [my friends] i emotionally commit suicide when i feel like i can't handle being around people anymore"? Because I think I might know what you're talking about, but I'm not really sure if I know what you're talking about.
I can tell you what I've gone through: I have a lot of friends and acquaintances. Or another way to say that is, "my social circle is large." When I'm feeling good, I'm, I guess you could say, more inclined to express it as I did in the former way; when I'm feeling bad, the latter way. When I'm feeling good, I'm happy to talk to everyone and I enjoy it. When I'm feeling good, I feel like I have friends and I can talk to them about personal things and it's fun to hang out with them. When I'm feeling bad, I don't want to talk to anyone and I look around and I think to myself "I actually don't have any friends." I think this might be somewhat common.
As for how to deal with it--it's tough. This comment of mine has more generalized getting-out-of-depression advice, but in this case I think all I can say is that maybe it becomes less of a problem the less you think about it. So, if I narrow my thoughts on the question of "Are any of my friends actually my friends?", it becomes a no-true-scotsman problem and the answer is always "no." However, if I focus my energies on working hard and trying to improve myself (in my case, trying to be a good artist--see point #2 in my linked comment), then pressure is taken off other aspects of my life and the "true nature" of my relationships with my friends don't seem so important, and I can more healthily just enjoy what I have with them.
Re your specific situation, well: if what I've said sounds like it might help, then the thing to do might be to try to focus your energies on some other project or part of your life in the coming month, and maybe if that begins to be rewarding and so seize some of your loyalty, pressure will be taken off this wedding thing, and it won't seem like such a huge deal, and you'll be able to treat it as a slightly less important and so slightly more manageable problem. Hope that helps. Good luck.
posted by skwt at 11:29 PM on July 11, 2010 [2 favorites]
1. I've never been a best man at a wedding, but I've witnessed best men at weddings, and unless I'm missing out on a lot of back-room obligations (of which there probably are some), the public duties of a best men are not all that onerous. You say a speech, basically, I think? You stand in the proximity to the marrying people? Maybe a little bit of extra attention is on you generally throughout the proceedings and party. There may be more to it, I'm not sure. I say this not to contradict you but to try clarify your problem, for yourself and for us. Is it the speech that's got you worried? What is it exactly? Is it the being around a lot of people? It probably seems like this huge undifferentiated mass of spectacle and obligation. Maybe it would help (you, and us) to break it down a little.
2. What do you mean when you say "when i see [my friends] i emotionally commit suicide when i feel like i can't handle being around people anymore"? Because I think I might know what you're talking about, but I'm not really sure if I know what you're talking about.
I can tell you what I've gone through: I have a lot of friends and acquaintances. Or another way to say that is, "my social circle is large." When I'm feeling good, I'm, I guess you could say, more inclined to express it as I did in the former way; when I'm feeling bad, the latter way. When I'm feeling good, I'm happy to talk to everyone and I enjoy it. When I'm feeling good, I feel like I have friends and I can talk to them about personal things and it's fun to hang out with them. When I'm feeling bad, I don't want to talk to anyone and I look around and I think to myself "I actually don't have any friends." I think this might be somewhat common.
As for how to deal with it--it's tough. This comment of mine has more generalized getting-out-of-depression advice, but in this case I think all I can say is that maybe it becomes less of a problem the less you think about it. So, if I narrow my thoughts on the question of "Are any of my friends actually my friends?", it becomes a no-true-scotsman problem and the answer is always "no." However, if I focus my energies on working hard and trying to improve myself (in my case, trying to be a good artist--see point #2 in my linked comment), then pressure is taken off other aspects of my life and the "true nature" of my relationships with my friends don't seem so important, and I can more healthily just enjoy what I have with them.
Re your specific situation, well: if what I've said sounds like it might help, then the thing to do might be to try to focus your energies on some other project or part of your life in the coming month, and maybe if that begins to be rewarding and so seize some of your loyalty, pressure will be taken off this wedding thing, and it won't seem like such a huge deal, and you'll be able to treat it as a slightly less important and so slightly more manageable problem. Hope that helps. Good luck.
posted by skwt at 11:29 PM on July 11, 2010 [2 favorites]
Yes, again, yes. Vigorous excercise, making your bed, force a routine, and just fake happiness until you feel better. You'll get through this.
posted by biddeford at 11:29 PM on July 11, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by biddeford at 11:29 PM on July 11, 2010 [4 favorites]
Setting small goals and reaching them can really help build self-esteem. Exercise, of course, is helpful on two counts: you can achieve small goals (distance, reps, speed) while getting endorphins. Creating achievable projects and really appreciating yourself for having accomplishing them ("I may be having a tough time, but I still did X") can help make things seem less all-encompassing and overwhelming.
Considering your needs, I'd say setting small social goals could be a good habit to get into. If you don't feel like you can handle being around friends, try being around strangers for a few hours. Try smiling at people, try saying "hi" (nothing more if you don't want) to somebody, then saying more, then having a full conversation, building in small increments each time. The key is to not beat yourself up for having a tough time, but accept that it's the way things are right now, test the waters, and stretch the boundaries of comfort a little more every day. Be kind to yourself and accept that small increments are often the best way to make lasting changes. Think of achievable goals, plan them out no more than a week in advance (don't overwhelm yourself--this is a marathon, not a sprint), and appreciate your ability to do anything you choose to do with enough courage. Good luck!
posted by verbyournouns at 11:30 PM on July 11, 2010
Considering your needs, I'd say setting small social goals could be a good habit to get into. If you don't feel like you can handle being around friends, try being around strangers for a few hours. Try smiling at people, try saying "hi" (nothing more if you don't want) to somebody, then saying more, then having a full conversation, building in small increments each time. The key is to not beat yourself up for having a tough time, but accept that it's the way things are right now, test the waters, and stretch the boundaries of comfort a little more every day. Be kind to yourself and accept that small increments are often the best way to make lasting changes. Think of achievable goals, plan them out no more than a week in advance (don't overwhelm yourself--this is a marathon, not a sprint), and appreciate your ability to do anything you choose to do with enough courage. Good luck!
posted by verbyournouns at 11:30 PM on July 11, 2010
second the exercise! when i'm at my most anti-social and depressed, i make it a point to have lunch or dinner with my most supportive friends, one on one—not necessarily to talk about my problems or how badly i'm feeling, but just to have fun with people that know how i am and can tolerate me when i'm being a jerk and nudge me back into positivity. one or two pleasant meals with people i care about who clearly also care about me can make such a big difference in my mood and general outlook.
i've got to be the best man at my friend's wedding in a little under a month and i'm going to have to be around a lot of people.
i find big parties and events really stressful, except when i have a role—then i can channel all my nervousness about attending/being a wallflower into doing whatever job it is, whether it's taking photos or doing miscellaneous front of house duties. in your case, it could help on the day itself to really focus on being the best man at the wedding for the groom; there are so many things going on at a wedding + reception that you might be able to forget whatever negative feelings you have that day just because you're SO busy making sure everything goes right for the couple.
posted by lia at 11:36 PM on July 11, 2010
i've got to be the best man at my friend's wedding in a little under a month and i'm going to have to be around a lot of people.
i find big parties and events really stressful, except when i have a role—then i can channel all my nervousness about attending/being a wallflower into doing whatever job it is, whether it's taking photos or doing miscellaneous front of house duties. in your case, it could help on the day itself to really focus on being the best man at the wedding for the groom; there are so many things going on at a wedding + reception that you might be able to forget whatever negative feelings you have that day just because you're SO busy making sure everything goes right for the couple.
posted by lia at 11:36 PM on July 11, 2010
Perhaps (PERHAPS) this cannot happen in the time frame that you set for yourself. It sounds like you're trying to do a complete and total 180 in 1/12 (or so) of the time it would take the general run of humanity to go from self-loathing to feeling great. I'm not saying you can't at all even approach such a goal, but I think you may be placing unnecessary conditions on yourself, that could maybe lead to even worse self-loathing if you don't turn out to be the OMG absolutely most perfect best man that EVER LIVED. You don't have to be perfect. Your friend asked you to occupy this position for a reason. Obviously, your friend trusts you with a huge responsibility, has a deep and abiding affection for you, and wants you to be an integral part of this most awesomest of days.
So let's look at it this way:
If you are not 100% cool with yourself on Wedding Day, this is by no means the death knell for your participation. Can you maybe change that goal (which honestly does sound a tad unrealistic) to "feeling OK enough about myself to be able to stand up at my good friend's side while he celebrates a huge milestone in his life?" Remember, the friend WANTS YOU THERE. You were asked to do this for reasons, and each of those reasons reflects highly upon you as a person. Another thing to remember: the best man, while an integral behind-the-scenes kind of guy, is not necessarily the focus of all the attention at the wedding. It's Their Day. Everyone present is going to be checking out the bride, getting drunk, and bothering the DJ/band to play Cinderella* so they can "really dance." (Not that I have ever engaged in any of the aforementioned behaviors at a wedding, but one time I heard that people might....you know;) ) The point is, you don't have to be the ultimate Renaissance man to assist/kindly discourage any of these shenanigans - you just have to really want your friend to have the best day possible. Keep that in mind, and the particulars will seem a lot less daunting.
Speech! Honestly, the worst best-man speeches I've heard were by guys who were....overprepared. Best BM speech? "You guys are wonderful, and I'm so glad you're my friends. I know you'll thrive and be so happy together." (Paraphrased, but you get the idea!)
You don't have to be perfect! You said it best yourself - "i know that i can do anything i choose to do with enough courage." Choose to prove to your friend why you were the best choice for this position of honor, and you will do what needs to be done in a gracious and supportive fashion. Then, when it's all said and done, you can collapse with relief that IT'S DONE! I really wish you the best of luck, and I hope it's a great day for everyone concerned.
posted by deep thought sunstar at 11:38 PM on July 11, 2010 [1 favorite]
So let's look at it this way:
If you are not 100% cool with yourself on Wedding Day, this is by no means the death knell for your participation. Can you maybe change that goal (which honestly does sound a tad unrealistic) to "feeling OK enough about myself to be able to stand up at my good friend's side while he celebrates a huge milestone in his life?" Remember, the friend WANTS YOU THERE. You were asked to do this for reasons, and each of those reasons reflects highly upon you as a person. Another thing to remember: the best man, while an integral behind-the-scenes kind of guy, is not necessarily the focus of all the attention at the wedding. It's Their Day. Everyone present is going to be checking out the bride, getting drunk, and bothering the DJ/band to play Cinderella* so they can "really dance." (Not that I have ever engaged in any of the aforementioned behaviors at a wedding, but one time I heard that people might....you know;) ) The point is, you don't have to be the ultimate Renaissance man to assist/kindly discourage any of these shenanigans - you just have to really want your friend to have the best day possible. Keep that in mind, and the particulars will seem a lot less daunting.
Speech! Honestly, the worst best-man speeches I've heard were by guys who were....overprepared. Best BM speech? "You guys are wonderful, and I'm so glad you're my friends. I know you'll thrive and be so happy together." (Paraphrased, but you get the idea!)
You don't have to be perfect! You said it best yourself - "i know that i can do anything i choose to do with enough courage." Choose to prove to your friend why you were the best choice for this position of honor, and you will do what needs to be done in a gracious and supportive fashion. Then, when it's all said and done, you can collapse with relief that IT'S DONE! I really wish you the best of luck, and I hope it's a great day for everyone concerned.
posted by deep thought sunstar at 11:38 PM on July 11, 2010 [1 favorite]
*That's Cinderella the band, not the movie or licensed character. I LOVE weddings!
posted by deep thought sunstar at 11:39 PM on July 11, 2010
posted by deep thought sunstar at 11:39 PM on July 11, 2010
I know this has been said a couple times already, but making your bed is surprisingly effective. I find that no matter how bleahhh I'm feeling, making my bed gives me the sense of orderliness I need to get up and do things. Having a tidy room or workspace is actually really good at lifting your mood. Less visual clutter = less mental clutter; you'll feel calmer at any rate. But since tidying a whole room might seem like too much effort, especially when you're depressed (believe me, I know~), just fixing your bed for starters is good.
When you say that you emotionally commit suicide, do you mean that you don't like being around your friends? If so, I can kind of understand that. Although I consider myself a generally friendly, happy person, I do fall into a deep slump every summer where I really do not want to talk/email/interact with anyone, best friend or not. That's how I've been feeling lately and even dealing with the people I work for/with has become a real pain. I think the problem is that I'm not as active during the summer as I am during the school year when it's all about papers, deadlines, grades, extracurriculars...
So think about whether or not you're active enough. Are you doing things that keep you on your toes and make you think quick? Also, not having too much of a routine can help. Try to do something interesting and fun everyday. It doesn't have to be super fancy. You could just decide to eat at a new restaurant, take a new route home, read a new book, spend an afternoon pursing some activity you've never tried before (painting, dancing, w/e), or cook something you really like eating but haven't had in ages. Also making a playlist with non-let-me-wallow-in-my-misery music is really helpful. (NO SAD/ANGSTY MUSIC. It's tempting, but don't do it!)
The point is to mix things up a bit so you're not forever sinking into a mire of mundane-ity. Don't let your day just be grey, grey, more grey, and grey. Being interested in life and stuff around you is probably the best way to be more positive.
And don't pressure yourself to change. That's just stressful and will set you back.
Good luck~!!!!!!!!
posted by joyeuxamelie at 11:52 PM on July 11, 2010 [4 favorites]
When you say that you emotionally commit suicide, do you mean that you don't like being around your friends? If so, I can kind of understand that. Although I consider myself a generally friendly, happy person, I do fall into a deep slump every summer where I really do not want to talk/email/interact with anyone, best friend or not. That's how I've been feeling lately and even dealing with the people I work for/with has become a real pain. I think the problem is that I'm not as active during the summer as I am during the school year when it's all about papers, deadlines, grades, extracurriculars...
So think about whether or not you're active enough. Are you doing things that keep you on your toes and make you think quick? Also, not having too much of a routine can help. Try to do something interesting and fun everyday. It doesn't have to be super fancy. You could just decide to eat at a new restaurant, take a new route home, read a new book, spend an afternoon pursing some activity you've never tried before (painting, dancing, w/e), or cook something you really like eating but haven't had in ages. Also making a playlist with non-let-me-wallow-in-my-misery music is really helpful. (NO SAD/ANGSTY MUSIC. It's tempting, but don't do it!)
The point is to mix things up a bit so you're not forever sinking into a mire of mundane-ity. Don't let your day just be grey, grey, more grey, and grey. Being interested in life and stuff around you is probably the best way to be more positive.
And don't pressure yourself to change. That's just stressful and will set you back.
Good luck~!!!!!!!!
posted by joyeuxamelie at 11:52 PM on July 11, 2010 [4 favorites]
When you're fighting depression, you have to push yourself to do things. It's hard at first, and it can be really hard, but gradually, as you manage to do more stuff, it gets less hard. That's how you get better.
You won't magically feel great about yourself and be really positive in a month, but you'll get through it. And that's what you need to do.
posted by nangar at 12:16 AM on July 12, 2010
You won't magically feel great about yourself and be really positive in a month, but you'll get through it. And that's what you need to do.
posted by nangar at 12:16 AM on July 12, 2010
Maybe see if your psychiatrist can give you a prescription for a fast-acting mood lifter for the wedding day, like Adderall and/or Xanax?
posted by Jacqueline at 12:29 AM on July 12, 2010
posted by Jacqueline at 12:29 AM on July 12, 2010
I think you need more time to get out of it but in ome month you can surely learn to pretend. Pretend that you are a peach on a hot day. Pretend that you feel great about yourself. Pretend that you are te best best man on the weddings planet. You'll make it and probably you'll even enjoy it.
posted by uauage at 4:35 AM on July 12, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by uauage at 4:35 AM on July 12, 2010 [1 favorite]
To add to the great comments so far, I have always found that have a clean and tidy living environment makes it a lot easier to deal with the stuff in my head.
My introvert fiancé was best man a couple of years ago, he found that focusing on his specific jobs (as mentioned above) helped, along with repeating and practicing his speech enough times that it felt natural on the day.
Thinking of the concept of being a best man is going to be overwhelming, perhaps speak to the groom beforehand and get a breakdown of tasks and your timeline on the day?
posted by ellieBOA at 4:54 AM on July 12, 2010
My introvert fiancé was best man a couple of years ago, he found that focusing on his specific jobs (as mentioned above) helped, along with repeating and practicing his speech enough times that it felt natural on the day.
Thinking of the concept of being a best man is going to be overwhelming, perhaps speak to the groom beforehand and get a breakdown of tasks and your timeline on the day?
posted by ellieBOA at 4:54 AM on July 12, 2010
As a woman dealing with something similar, I've actually booted a lot of people from my life because I didn't want to deal with them, I agree with everyone on the advice to get busy @ home. For me, it was redecorating and cooking. Simple little things where I focus on myself, like giving myself a pedicure every Sunday night, helps me prepare for the coming week. I have also started to cook on the weekends for meals that will last the week, that way I am mentally getting ready to have to deal with people and when I am too tired from the day of being around others, cooking is one less thing to do.
I am not sure how doing such things can affect you in a month, but after a few weeks of this routine (and it HAS to be a routine so that you mentally look forward to this schedule that fills your empty moments), I have felt better. I used to spend Friday nights with my friends and since I have opted out of a social life, I spend my Friday nights on a date...with myself. I splurge on a fave meal (to go) and go to the park and a spot on a mountain and have a little picnic to myself and watch the sunset. I do this EVERY Friday. I have found that by having a schedule for myself, it is something I cannot "dread" since I am not avoiding people because no one will be there.
It's ok to want to be alone. You're not a freak for wanting your seclusion. You should admit that to yourself, first and foremost, to absolve any guilt or doubt that you are weird or being negative or hurting others by your recent behavior. People are tiring and sometimes, enough is enough and it makes us look inward and forces us to hide in our lairs. Totally understandable. Start a regiment, be it exercise or solo outings, whatever. Trust me, a set schedule HELPS.
posted by penguingrl at 5:14 AM on July 12, 2010
I am not sure how doing such things can affect you in a month, but after a few weeks of this routine (and it HAS to be a routine so that you mentally look forward to this schedule that fills your empty moments), I have felt better. I used to spend Friday nights with my friends and since I have opted out of a social life, I spend my Friday nights on a date...with myself. I splurge on a fave meal (to go) and go to the park and a spot on a mountain and have a little picnic to myself and watch the sunset. I do this EVERY Friday. I have found that by having a schedule for myself, it is something I cannot "dread" since I am not avoiding people because no one will be there.
It's ok to want to be alone. You're not a freak for wanting your seclusion. You should admit that to yourself, first and foremost, to absolve any guilt or doubt that you are weird or being negative or hurting others by your recent behavior. People are tiring and sometimes, enough is enough and it makes us look inward and forces us to hide in our lairs. Totally understandable. Start a regiment, be it exercise or solo outings, whatever. Trust me, a set schedule HELPS.
posted by penguingrl at 5:14 AM on July 12, 2010
Have you told the people you love that you are having this problem? Have you identified what your ideal is? I've both been you and watched those I love be you. Beyond taking care of yourself (exercise, good hygiene, creating a safe space for yourself), please consider sharing this burden.
One of my good friends has suffered from anxiety and depression for YEARS but has been mostly okay for the past year. Last month he suffered a setback, but this time instead of retreating, he very proactively contacted his friends and family and said: hey, I'm not okay. I need your help so I don't fall back into my hole.
You know what? A month later, he's feeling stable again and back on track. This time it felt different for him, but it also felt different for *us*. We were able to pep talk him, listen to him, leave him alone when that was best, and take him out when that was.
So, I guess all I'm saying is that you don't need to go through this alone. If you have friends who are close enough that you are going to be a best man, you have friends who will want to help you if you let them know what's going on. It's great you have a therapist and working that angle, but don't forget you do have other resources.
posted by ilikecookies at 7:10 AM on July 12, 2010
One of my good friends has suffered from anxiety and depression for YEARS but has been mostly okay for the past year. Last month he suffered a setback, but this time instead of retreating, he very proactively contacted his friends and family and said: hey, I'm not okay. I need your help so I don't fall back into my hole.
You know what? A month later, he's feeling stable again and back on track. This time it felt different for him, but it also felt different for *us*. We were able to pep talk him, listen to him, leave him alone when that was best, and take him out when that was.
So, I guess all I'm saying is that you don't need to go through this alone. If you have friends who are close enough that you are going to be a best man, you have friends who will want to help you if you let them know what's going on. It's great you have a therapist and working that angle, but don't forget you do have other resources.
posted by ilikecookies at 7:10 AM on July 12, 2010
Good luck, sweetie. You'll come out on the other side of this. Focus on that.
posted by angrycat at 12:42 PM on July 12, 2010
posted by angrycat at 12:42 PM on July 12, 2010
Response by poster: Hey everyone. Thanks truly truly for all your support and advice. This has been, hands down, the most helpful set of responses to a crisis oriented askmefi question i've asked. I really do agree that exercise does a lot to help people feel alive (I've even preached this message to others before!). Making my bed came to me as a true revelation. I went to boarding school for 5 years and went to rehab for month recently (both places that make you make your bed in the morning) and i am now just seeing it's effectiveness. My friends who know me the best have heard and understand my problems. I've just been depressed and having problems for so long that I feel like it would be an abuse of our relationships for me to constantly bring up abstract problems that they've already given me advice about.
I'm so glad that people affirmed my suspicion that my goal to feel "FUCKING GREAT!" is unrealistic in a month. Though I was afraid that I might have to, I'm glad uauage opened my mind to the idea of pretending as best as I could. I'm reluctant to pretend cause I know that anyone who knows me well will know when I am or am not pretending and figured that would be a bigger deception than looking miserable and not saying anything about it. But as IFDS,SN9 (freakin awesome login, btw!) noted, I'm thinking too black and white, do or die about things and realize that I don't have to be exactly one thing at any given moment and that there is room for confusion and motivation loss. Anyway, I've started making a schedule with making my bed and going to yoga as my primary beginnings to a healthier life. Today, I'm finally gonna organize my work space (musician) and finally set up my computers and keyboards and download all the software I need to get going. "Get going and good feelings will follow" said ask Alice of Columbia University's counseling department and that is absolutely right. Thank you everyone, once again, and have a blessed day.
posted by tunestunes at 2:30 PM on July 12, 2010 [1 favorite]
I'm so glad that people affirmed my suspicion that my goal to feel "FUCKING GREAT!" is unrealistic in a month. Though I was afraid that I might have to, I'm glad uauage opened my mind to the idea of pretending as best as I could. I'm reluctant to pretend cause I know that anyone who knows me well will know when I am or am not pretending and figured that would be a bigger deception than looking miserable and not saying anything about it. But as IFDS,SN9 (freakin awesome login, btw!) noted, I'm thinking too black and white, do or die about things and realize that I don't have to be exactly one thing at any given moment and that there is room for confusion and motivation loss. Anyway, I've started making a schedule with making my bed and going to yoga as my primary beginnings to a healthier life. Today, I'm finally gonna organize my work space (musician) and finally set up my computers and keyboards and download all the software I need to get going. "Get going and good feelings will follow" said ask Alice of Columbia University's counseling department and that is absolutely right. Thank you everyone, once again, and have a blessed day.
posted by tunestunes at 2:30 PM on July 12, 2010 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
Good luck, you can do it.
posted by hapax_legomenon at 10:46 PM on July 11, 2010 [1 favorite]