multiple orgasm: pro or con?
November 10, 2008 6:05 PM   Subscribe

Very NSFW question about female self-pleasure. You've been warned!

I am a woman. I am a woman who likes to masturbate.

I have been totally psyched to find out in the past week or so that when I smoke pot I am capable of multiple orgasm, like, to the extreme. I'm not talking about squeezing out an extra one or two through self-discipline, which is what I've infrequently managed before. I mean, I enter an orgasmic state that can last a while (as long as I want, over 30 minutes even), and in that state have multiple peaks, on the order of dozens. I can't keep count, that's how many.

Yeah. It's pretty awesome.

But it's also kind of foreign. I've always had a voracious sex drive, I've been masturbating for probably 22-23 years and having sex for 15, and I've been a one-orgasm lady 99% of the time. I've always avoided pot during sex because it once ruined an otherwise fun night by making me totally dry -- mouth and lady parts -- but this phenomenon makes that inconvenience worth it. (Plus I have no partner right now or in the foreseeable future anyway.)

- I'm in my mid-30s; have you experienced an awakening like this later in life?
- Is this the sexual peak I've read about?
- Why does this only seem to work when I'm high? What mechanism is at work? Is it relaxation on a level I can't reach when sober?
- Is it possible to learn to do this when sober? What do I need to do?
- Is it lame to only be able to do this when I'm high? (I can still climax when sober, but only once each go-around.)
- Is this attractive to sex partners, or would it seem weird or circus-act-like?

(Please note that I live somewhere that this kind of pot use is legal and not taboo.)
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (18 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

I can only say, as a male, I wouldn't mind if my partner had this problem. I am also guessing this won't last. Just guessing.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:35 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

Yes, from what I understand, women tend to hit their sexual stride in their 30's.

When you are high, your brain activates a certain reward system called Cannabinoid receptors. Yes, there is a special pathway that your brain uses to process pot and some other homegrown chemicials. Sweet! While I am unaware of the exact chemistry behind it, I know that it helps with the crosstalk between different areas of your brain.

One of these areas is responsible for emotion and sexual response.

Now, multiple orgasms are something attainable by men and women, without 'enhancement'. I would wager that the mechanism at work when you are 'affected' is a combination of things, a greater sensitivity to pleasure, a greater patience to work your own body to the heights of ecstasy, and a greater capacity to experience the depth of sexual energy before it releases.

It's never lame to use a substance to increase your enjoyment of life in a non-destructive manner. If your pot induced multiple orgasms kept you inside, smoking bowls instead of going to work ( sounds tempting ), then that's something to consider....

I think it entirely depends on your partner, as to if it's attractive or not. I, personally, would find it hot as hell to have my woman writhing uncontrollably for half an hour in an orgasmic frenzy. But if there are guys out there who can't appreciate that, avoid them.

As to attaining this in a sober state, that is a greater conversation, feel free to PM me for details. This involves paying attention to your body, attentive breathing, Kegels and much patience and focus on your subtle levels of awareness and sensation.

best of luck!
posted by emptyinside at 6:48 PM on November 10, 2008

Oh yeah I would love this. As the guy with the girl who had this "problem." And if it causes dryness, that's why FSM invented lube!

Wow, I've been drinking, and I know I should stop this response now before I embarrass myself.
posted by zhivota at 7:00 PM on November 10, 2008

Congratulations finding this out about yourself. I'm about your age but the opposite gender. I have only a small amount of direct anecdotal evidence to back up your sexual peak story - and heard enough stories against such a thing...

I can only speak for myself, but I would be fascinated, honoured and a little bit envious. Never had your reaction to pot, though (which is readily available, even without silly permits, where I live).

If you are interested in enjoying this without having to toke up, intuitively I think that you're in the right corner with relaxation. You could try gradually lowering your dosage. Personally I see no reason why it would stop over time; but as with all internet advice, caveat lector.

I think Dan Savage had an item about dryness recently, even in the context of smoking pot to get in the mood; the advice was lube for below and a coke.
posted by LanTao at 7:01 PM on November 10, 2008

i have never had a partner be upset about my multiple orgasms.
posted by nadawi at 7:06 PM on November 10, 2008

Natalie Angier said in Woman: An Intimate Geography that all the women in her family learned to orgasm by smoking grass. And I've heard stories of other hallucinogenics having a primarily orgasmic/sexual effect for women (someone told me it akin to the euphoria of giving birth sans pain).

So I'm guessing this is not that uncommon.
posted by ifjuly at 7:16 PM on November 10, 2008

My partner went through something kind of similar, though not involving pot. I think the mid-30s peak is really common for women; every year you learn a bit more about how your body works and how to be comfortable in it, and at some point it all comes together, so to speak.

Everyone is different, but for my SO there was a definite progression from being able to have an orgasm only under special circumstances, to being able to reliably have an orgasm, to being able to have multiples only under special circumstances, to having multiples be normal and expected. She says that it was just a slow process of learning how to make it happen (or allow it to happen -- she describes it as a combination of both), as well as learning to communicate what she needed.

For her, alcohol was the "gateway drug" to multiple orgasms. Like pot maybe does for you, a couple glasses of wine let her relax and stop overthinking what was going on, and just make it happen. It turned out to just be the tool for learning, not something that she needed every time.

But for a while the alcohol was a necessary piece, and that was fine. Sex was good anyway, and once in a while she'd have a bit to drink and have an amazing time. So if it turns out that you need the pot in order to have the multiples, I don't think that that is a problem.

There are probably men for whom this kind of sexually responsive woman would be intimidating and a turn-off, but is that the kind of guy you want to be with? As long as it goes along with things being good for him, then it just sounds like a win-win situation to me.
posted by Forktine at 7:38 PM on November 10, 2008

I can also report that my girlfriend, decades ago, had a similar experience with organic hallucinogens.

But drugs are not the only way to get you there. Listen to this podcast for an alternative. Some prefer mechanics over psychoactives.
posted by yclipse at 8:23 PM on November 10, 2008

Is this attractive to sex partners, or would it seem weird or circus-act-like?

When I met my first easily and multiply orgasmic woman, I married her.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:04 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

This is totally anecdotal, but when I smoked pot I found that my sensory experiences were totally "directable" and that I could (if I so chose, this wasn't inevitable) get really sexually aroused by other sensory experiences. Like, if I ate a delicious strawberry I could sort of aim that pleasure at my girly bits or my libido or something and get really turned on. Same thing if I were running my fingers over a soft fuzzy sweater, or feeling my skirt swish against my calf as I walked. Needless to say, sex when stoned was freaking phenomenal, though it was already pretty good when sober!

Again, totally anecdotal, but in my experience was that pot was an awesome aphrodisiac. Looks like it's the same for you, so you are not alone. Enjoy it and I'll bet your partners will too!
posted by Sublimity at 10:13 PM on November 10, 2008

In my experience, multiple orgasms are great for me and really sexy for my partner to watch. YMMV. And pot isn't a problem unless you forgo other activities (work or whatever) to do it constantly.
posted by silkygreenbelly at 10:18 PM on November 10, 2008

The effect of pot on sex, has been the biggest personal* reason to date for me to think that the illegality of cannabis in so many places is...
%$#@$# inhumane!

You had multiple orgasms. That's pretty damn awesome.
But I have heard of multiple stories, of women who have never been able orgasm, being able to orgasm on pot.
Do you realise how many women have never had an orgasm?
At least 10%.

So, the orgasm & better sex effect has be mentioned anecdotally in a bunch of places, including Dan Savage's column, and in the follow up.

Some theories on how:

# I believe this is behind pots reputation as an 'aphrodisiac'. Not that I think pot is an aphrodisiac in that it makes you horny, or even want to have sex with someone you're not into. The few times I have, it just magnified the sensations. So, the first time, with someone I wasn't that into, the magnified sensation was - hmmm, kissing is... kinda slimy. Eww.
Every other time it was - Hey this feels quite... wwwooooowwwww....

# It reduces multiple trains of thought down to usually one, very slowly, and carefully considered thought. Kind of like, the opposite of adhd. You just about the moment or thought you're in, you don't have spiralling side-thoughts like thinking about the washing you have to do, or getting to work in the morning, or how your friend is who you haven't seen in awhile.

# In fact, apparently large portions of the female brain seem to need to kind of... shut down, during orgasm here (more important things to do, clearly), so the less other things you're thinking about, the better.

# In most people, cannabis reduces anxiety (warning on the packet being, in a subset, it makes them paranoid). It's also mentioned in above link as being important to female orgasm, and in other places.

# Body-stoned effect - the effect of sensations on the body, like gentle stroking on the skin, feels more like the skin is all tingly and sensitised, kind of like post-sex?

?#? And bonus reason:
From a beautiful, hippy friend... I was given a lovely, mystical explanation about how endocannabinoids are special as they are involved our first love, and searching for our mothers - That of a blastocyte implanting into the uterus.
Unfortunately all I can really recall of the conversation was thewiki search afterwards, to confirm the shout-out at least.
Perhaps that would count as a reason against.

* Obviously, if I ever need chemotherapy or get alzheimers, I'd be pretty grateful to be getting the medical benefits there.
posted by Elysum at 10:53 PM on November 10, 2008

Sounds to me like the perfect storm; biochemistry, sexual peak, relaxation...perhaps this is a latent ability and you finally found the magic recipe for unleashing it.

Now excuse me, it's time for me to start smoking pot.
posted by agentwills at 5:46 AM on November 11, 2008

Is this attractive to sex partners, or would it seem weird or circus-act-like?

Uh, as a boy:

posted by paultopia at 9:47 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

Uh, as a GIRL:

posted by CwgrlUp at 5:42 PM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

Uh, as a SHEEP:

posted by thegmann at 1:28 AM on November 12, 2008 [2 favorites]

Uh, as your vagina:

posted by iamkimiam at 10:10 PM on November 16, 2008 [4 favorites]

I am like this, and have never smoked pot in my life. Yes, I realize I am lucky. Nobody I've met has considered me a freak for it, and most have thought it was pretty cool (as others in the thread have noted.)

It's possible you could learn to do it, but I am not sure how you'd do it. I think I'm "wired" this way (to quote Dr. Drew) and I don't think I have a particularly unique technique.
posted by nekton at 11:35 AM on November 17, 2008

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