Why am I so useless?
June 16, 2008 5:14 AM Subscribe
I am a useless procrastinator, I see it happening, and I can see the outcome but I can't help it, I feel out of control almost. It's something I tend to deal with okay at work (a more direct task-based environment I guess) but at home it's terrible.
posted by anonymous to human relations (24 answers total) 62 users marked this as a favorite
My wife and I have had the same argument many times, about me not doing enough around the house. She doesn't ask a lot, and I have no objection to what she asks, but when it comes to doing it I just put it off and then either don't do it at all, or do a half-assed job. About the only thing I can do regularly is the dishes, but even that isn't great most of the time apparently.
From my wife's perspective I am simply choosing not to do it. She thinks it demonstrates that she and our son aren't important to me, but nothing could be further from the truth really, but at the same time I can't blame her for that feeling.
I don't know how to deal with it. These should be fairly simple chores - I am certainly capable of it - but when the time comes I just don't do them. I put them off in favor of other things. I seem to justify them to myself, or say 'in five minutes' but at the same time it doesn't even seem like a conscious decision I am making, and then it's all too late. I can almost hear my inner monologue saying "man, you really really have to do this now" but that seems to make no difference.
I don't even know where to begin in dealing with this, and more importantly in making my wife see that I really do want to change this behavior.
I've tried things that seem logical in the past - making myself little schedules, or reminders, but that seems to come to nothing, they just get put off like everything else. Thinking about it logically it almost seems pathological to me, I feel completely out of control in this.
I'm considering seeing a psychologist about it or something, but will that help me change my behavior?
The obvious answer is "just do the stuff" and it's the one I scream at myself but it doesn't seem to make a difference. I don't think I am lazy, but it's hard to see it any other way.
This is seriously jeopardizing my marriage now and I really really need to make some progress.