Why does the posse show up on a date?
June 16, 2008 5:14 AM Subscribe
Why does she invite her ex or friends to everything we do? What's my next move?
posted by anonymous to human relations (44 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I'm a guy in my late 20s. There's this girl I like. We met through a mutual friend. Since then we chat online at least 3 hours/day.
We hang out in person three or so times a week, going on a month now. Sometimes I initiate an event and sometimes she does. Sometimes these are casual events and other times they're more formal ones. But regardless, she makes sure her ex or another guy friend appears too. Sometimes she'll call minutes before we rendezvous asking "Is it cool if John comes along too?" Other times the person will just appear. Though we plan a lot of events, there's only been one where it's been just the two of us in the end. I like all of her friends, but it's usually a little awkward since they aren't people I would hang out with on my own accord.
I'm pretty sure she likes me. She usually sits next to me when we eat or see a movie, walks next to me when we walk, laughs at my jokes, goes out of her way to talk to me, dances with me, makes an effort to touch my arm, etc. I've been the third wheel many (many) times before and I don't feel like this is one of them.
She and her ex ended a multi-year relationship a few months ago and he's one of her closest friends in the area. She's mentioned in the past that she wants to let what happens happen, but she is leaving the state in two months so I don't want this to drag out forever.
Does she want me to be more explicit about asking her out "on a date"? Am I reading this wrong and she really just wants to be friends? In the past with other people I've straight up discussed relationship status, and that's always killed the relationship momentum. Going in for a kiss is tough too though since we're never alone.
What should my next move be?