Suck up at my review or quit?

June 13, 2008 5:58 PM

Impending performance review. I don't know whether to quit or somewhat disingenuously promise improvement and committment to the job.

I am a lawyer. I have been working in policy for about a year and a half. Around January of this year, I realized that I really dislike it and would like to get back to being a lawyer. For the past month or so, I have been actively looking for a new job. It hasn't gone that well, but I have some leads.

I have been dealing with some pretty bad depression. I have not been myself. It's I-don't-want-to-brush-my-teeth depression. My work is suffering, but it is definitely not the primary cause of the depression. I didn't like job before I became depressed and I have done a good job here when I wasn't depressed, even when I didn't like it.

My boss is pretty cool, and normally very hands-off about HR issues, to the point where my coworkers and I rarely know where we stand. I just got word that we have performance reviews coming up. We didn't have one last year (boss just blew them off). I get some positive feedback from boss, and some negative, but always just on a case-by-case basis. "Great job on X," or "You need to handle Y better."

My problem is I don't know how to handle the review. I really would like to acknowledge what I think has been subpar performance, but I feel weird about making any promises for improvement. I am in treatment for the depression, which is one thing that I can say, but I feel like making a new workplan or something would be disingenous. I am certainly trying to do a better job, and I can certainly try to kick ass until I leave, but I feel weird, knowing I will leave when I find what I am looking for. On the other hand, I may never get that great job I'm looking for...

So should I acknowledge the performance, explain the depression, and then later, when I give my notice (which could be a ways off, if ever), say I thought it would improve but the job is part of the unhappiness?

Or should I be totally honest, quit, and do contract work while I look? I know that's not a great career move in general for lawyers, but maybe it's equal/almost equal/only a little worse than staying in a non-legal job that I hate? For future employers, I can tell them I wanted to get back into legal work ASAP?

I am mildly concerned that my performace review will be me getting fired, but I don't really think that's the case. But maybe the small chance is worth quitting and not having a termination on my record? More likely, if boss wants me to leave boss would give me a chance to quit, I think. But I don't know.

Also, the job itself is a good job, with good benefits. I like the employer, just not the position. Internal move is not possible, though. I don't even know how hard it would be for me to get a contract job. I'm in a major east coast city, and my field is in demand. I have only a few years of experince, but it is good experience.

Thanks for the help.

posted by anonymous to work & money (6 comments total)

You should acknowledge the flaws in your performance without talking about your medical issues. There is no reason for your employers to know about your health unless you are requesting an accommodation for a disability, and it can only hurt you if you tell them about mental illness that you're dealing with. Let them tell you what areas they think you've done well in and where you need to improve, tell them what you plan to do to improve your performance in the areas where you've been lacking, and be done with it. Then actually do the things you promise to do for as long as you continue to work there.

The fact that you're looking for a new job has nothing do to with your performance review. You should work as hard and as well as you are capable of until your last day on the job. When you give your notice, you should thank them for the opportunities they've given you, talk about how much you've learned, and offer to help transition your duties to your replacement. Do not tell them that your job made you depressed or unhappy, and do not tell them that you had been planning to leave for a long time. Just tell them that you found an opportunity to move into a different type of work that was a great fit for you, and you couldn't pass it up, but that you've really enjoyed working with them, and you wish them all the best.

Basically, your best move here is to reveal little about your personal circumstances, stay upbeat, and work as well as you are able in your current job. When you leave, do so on a positive note to avoid burning bridges so that you can use them as a reference in the future. There's no reason whatsoever to let your personal issues comingle with your work unless you need something specific (e.g., time off for doctor visits, a leave of absence) from your employers. They want your work, and they want a professional departure when you eventually go. Anything else is TMI.
posted by decathecting at 7:00 PM on June 13

Nod, thank you very much, etc. Since you really are going to leave, this is your opportunity to really ask for critical feedback without getting too upset over the negative aspects. You are leaving. Who cares? Get the info though so that at the next job you will be even better. Everyone should do this even when they are lifers, but most people find it hard to take the really hard criticism, so the review is only partly effective. Management wants to keep the employee motivated, yet still deliver helpful criticism, while the employee wants to know how to do better next year without getting their ego bruised too badly. Exit interviews and reviews on the way out are your chance to get that extra honest feedback with less baggage. You might even find that the honest communication such discussion opens makes the current job more appealing.
posted by caddis at 7:03 PM on June 13

You should work as hard and as well as you are capable of until your last day on the job. When you give your notice, you should thank them for the opportunities they've given you, talk about how much you've learned, and offer to help transition your duties to your replacement. Do not tell them that your job made you depressed or unhappy,

You're not a robot. You are not obligated to work as hard as you can and not complain until the day you drop dead, much as some people would like you to behave that way.

So, be as honest as you feel comfortable being. There's no need to blurt out all the details of your depression, but there's no need to completely conceal it, if you're thinking of leaving anyway. You can always get another job. the important thing right now is to do what's best for your health and well-being.
posted by drjimmy11 at 7:43 PM on June 13

Acknowledge your shortfalls and state that you will do your absolute best to improve performance in those areas. This would not be a lie as you are obviously doing your best to improve. Don't mention a word about your medical issues.

Bluntly, if you aren't performing your employer should discipline you appropriately. It's their own fault if they don't.
posted by Octoparrot at 8:30 PM on June 13

There is no reason for your employers to know about your health unless you are requesting an accommodation for a disability, and it can only hurt you if you tell them about mental illness that you're dealing with.

I disagree. If you're having mental health problems I think it's important to establish an early paper-trail of sorts that shows your employer is aware of your condition, and that you responsibly informed them of the issue when you became aware that it might be affecting your work. Employers are extremely weary of firing people with disabilities for fear of lawsuits, but in these cases the plaintiff (you) is always better-served when you can prove the defendant (your company) knew of your condition beforehand. If you hide it from them, they can reasonably argue that firing you couldn't possibly have been discriminatory since they were completely unaware of your condition.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:39 PM on June 13

I disagree. If you're having mental health problems I think it's important to establish an early paper-trail of sorts that shows your employer is aware of your condition,

I believe the worry is that paper trail will come back to haunt you later, bringing with it (unjustified) negative stigmatisation due to a condition you have long since recovered from. Your boss isn't bound by any doctor/patient confidentiality rules, after all.
posted by Mike1024 at 5:41 AM on June 14