Sex and Music

July 30, 2004 7:57 PM

Is music a derogation during sex?
posted by the fire you left me to Human Relations (53 answers total)

interesting question. my girlfriend's name comes from a beautiful song from the allman brothers band, and it really just fits the mood.

so in that case, no, definitely not. i'm sure there are other cases like that. sex isn't all pumping and thumping, you know.
posted by taumeson at 8:01 PM on July 30, 2004

Gee, and here I was just pondering asking y'all what good music to fuck (and make love) by would be.

Music goes with most anything. Sometimes makes most anything better than it would be without it.
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:03 PM on July 30, 2004

Short answer: No.
Long answer: Hell no.
posted by majick at 8:05 PM on July 30, 2004

Yes, although it can be useful during preliminary phases. A more interesting question would be: is sex a derogation during music?
posted by cbrody at 8:06 PM on July 30, 2004

They're both derogations to one another.

Then again, I think it's both an embarrassment and an insult to listen to music other than alone, with headphones ;)
posted by abcde at 8:11 PM on July 30, 2004

I prefer instrumental music during sex. The words can get in the way.
posted by scottymac at 8:13 PM on July 30, 2004

No it's not. Especially when you have to keep the sounds drowned out for your party guests.
posted by Keyser Soze at 8:25 PM on July 30, 2004

From experience: Cannibal Corpse - yes. Al Green - hell no.
posted by Quartermass at 8:27 PM on July 30, 2004

roughly what Quartermass said, but expand Cannibal Corpse to take in any music with sadomasochistic overtones. For me, anyway.

And, kids, (shakes walking stick) you have no idea what a blessing the long-form mix CD is! Why, in my day we had these things called records, and you had to turn them over after about twenty minutes!

Now that's a derogation.
posted by mwhybark at 8:41 PM on July 30, 2004

Don't crap your huggies old man. (j/k) As a record owner I can comfortably say I would never put one on to get down with. That needle at the end of the record always in the back of my head... 2 Minutes and you have 80 minutes of mix.
posted by Keyser Soze at 9:10 PM on July 30, 2004

No.

Gee, and here I was just pondering asking y'all what good music to fuck (and make love) by would be.

My mattress music and more mattress music playlists on my iPod contain:

Stars of the Lid
Low
Kammerflimmer Kollectief
Lali Puna
Red Snapper
Big Ass Truck
Bobby Birdman
Electric Birds
Luna
Billie Holliday
Mojave 3
Palace
Chet Baker
Migala
Two Dollar Guitar
Papa M
2 Lone Swordsman
New Wet Kojak
Iron & Wine
Kingsbury Manx
The New Year
Wu Tang
Paul Burch
Peaches
Will Oldham
I Am Spoonbender
The Paul Butterfield Blues Band
Leonard Cohen
Pharoah Saunders
Mum
The Dining Rooms
Pauline Oliveros
My Morning Jacket
Nico
Gotan Project
Nina Simone
Mogwai
Polmo Polpo
Owls
The Books
Blossom Dearie
Smog
Flowchart
Live Human
Clem Snide
My Morning Jacket
The Rapture
!!!
Daniel Lanois
Nick Drake
Dead Can Dance
Dirty Three
Do Make Say Think
Elysian Fields
Neal Halstead
Sufjan Stevens
Ms John Soda
Morphine
LFO
The Birdwatcher
Girls Against Boys
Etta James
Explosions in the Sky
Sally Timms
Gas
Monroe Mustang
Lefty Frizzell
Washngton Phillips
Wim Mertens
Jim O'Rourke
Super XX Man
Sonny Rollins
Sonny Criss
Illy B
Joe Tex
Scrapper Blackwell
Zero 7
John Coltrane
Jorge Reyes
Karsh Kale
Sybarite
Manitoba
Sean Na-Na
M Ward
Mazzy Star
Miles Davis
Velma
Trans Am
Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings
Tortoise
Six Finger Satallite
United Future Organization
Mocean Worker
The Star Room Boys
Ron Sexsmith
Van Morrison
a few volumes of Ethiopiques
Solomon Burke
Thelonious Monk
Velvet Underground
Tindersticks
Skydiggers
a few volumes of Stax singles
Rose Murphy
The Shins
Silver Jews
Sister Double Happiness
St. Germain
Yo La Tengo
Marvin Gaye
Stevie Wonder
Sun Ra
Tight Bros. From Way Back When
Rock*A*Teens
Danko Jones
Rodan
William Bell
Shotmaker
and of course Pussy Galore

Not everything by all the artists, of course. The tracks are all carefully chosen. :)

Like me, it's set to shuffle.
posted by dobbs at 9:35 PM on July 30, 2004 [13 favorites]

what good music to fuck (and make love) by would be

...oompa-loompa pumpity pump*...

If it's distracting you from someone you love, that's bad. If it's making a fun thing better, or drowning out the upstairs neighbors listening to Wheel of Fortune, that's good. And it comes with free frogurt.

*Having visions of orange midgets with bad hair dancing around during the nookular act might also help one achieve greater levels of endurance.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:41 PM on July 30, 2004

No. Just be careful when setting your mp3s on shuffle-- you never know when "College Girls Are Easy" might come on and ruin the mood entirely.
posted by bonheur at 10:04 PM on July 30, 2004

Damn dobbs, 'tween this and your reading list, will you marry me?
posted by WolfDaddy at 10:12 PM on July 30, 2004

derogation.
posted by quonsar at 10:20 PM on July 30, 2004

Dobbs, seeing that the Silver Jews are probably my favorite band, I have to ask... what song of theirs is any good for lovemaking??? An instrumental? Hearing Dave Berman's rattly baritone isn't exactly a turn-on for me >_<
posted by themadjuggler at 11:09 PM on July 30, 2004

If it were not for sex, I suspect Barry White would not be anywhere near as popular. That's the only time I ever listen to R & B.
posted by milovoo at 11:32 PM on July 30, 2004

themadjuggler, I think The Natural Bridge is an excellent makeout/foreplaying album, though I skip the first two tracks.

That said, the vast majority of music I recommended is for the making out/foreplay, slow, gliding-hovering circles camp rather than the fast pumping, bent over the kitchen table humping manoevers. So if that's not you're style, ignore me.

Also note that I didn't list music to get someone in the mood for sex but music to enhance the experience. Getting someone in the mood is your own job.

For instance, here's a clip from one of my favorite foreplaying tracks (stars of the lids' anchor states pt ii).

And since I'm at it and an insomniac, here are some others from my list:

I Am Spoonbender
Pauline Oliveros (recorded in abandon missle silos)
Migala
Electric Birds
New Wet Kojak
Polmo Polpo
Manitoba
My Morning Jacket
Peaches
Red Snapper
Sybarite
M. Ward
illy B (this is billy martin of medeski martin and wood)
Velma
Elysian Fields
Mojave 3
Low
Bobby Birdman (2)
Sally Timms
Explosions in the Sky
Kammerflimmer Kollectief
Gotan Project
Monroe Mustang
Ms John Soda (quicktime vid)
Mum
Do Make Say Think
Super XX Man
St. Germain
Iron & Wine
Dining Rooms
Troublemakers (listen to track Get Misunderstood)

And that's probably enough of my shit for one night.

Wolfdaddy, I'm not the marrying type, but thanks for the offer. ;)
posted by dobbs at 1:09 AM on July 31, 2004 [4 favorites]

what quonsar said (for once). get a frigging education.
posted by andrew cooke at 6:09 AM on July 31, 2004

I'd prefer not to listen to music at such times. I find I either don't hear it at all or it's a distraction.

But of course, as with all sexual issues, one must be flexible and accommodating. Instrumental music is a nice compromise.
posted by orange swan at 6:19 AM on July 31, 2004

DOBBS IS THE MAN
posted by matteo at 6:26 AM on July 31, 2004

Oh man, no I'm not one for the humping, ummm... how you described it :)

Excellent music, though!
posted by themadjuggler at 7:15 AM on July 31, 2004

Heh. I don't have a specific playlist, so I tend to say "no" because there's just way too much weird stuff on my playlist (such as a great deal of They Might Be Giants, The Bonzo Dog Band, and Barenaked Ladies). Last time it was needed for sound purposes I put it on Yuki Kajiura, which didn't really add or detract, it was just background.
posted by dagnyscott at 8:02 AM on July 31, 2004

Sex without like music is like coffee without a cigarette. Some people claim it's better for you, but they wouldn't know joy if it hit them with a stick.
posted by dame at 8:51 AM on July 31, 2004 [1 favorite]

Oops. M. Ward and Manitoba corrected.
posted by dobbs at 9:01 AM on July 31, 2004

dagnyscott -- I was just thinking about that. I love TMBG, but they always came up during those college bull sessions of "what would be the WORST music to play during sex?"

I think Napoleon XIV was on there, too.
posted by Vidiot at 9:40 AM on July 31, 2004

How about "Faith In The Heart" from Enterprise or any Star Trek theme music.
posted by inksyndicate at 10:48 AM on July 31, 2004

Hell, with her legs clamped over my ears, I'm not able to hear much of anything anyway...
posted by five fresh fish at 11:04 AM on July 31, 2004

is that a candidate for best or worst, inky?

personally, i can't think of much worse than having morrissey (metaphorically) peering over my shoulder. i've got cantaloupe island playing at the moment and that might be quite fun if you were both into it, though i'm thinking it might turn out more like sex as a kind of energetic synchronized swimming...
posted by andrew cooke at 11:09 AM on July 31, 2004

All of these albums are GREAT sex albums...(non-flash).
posted by BMF at 11:09 AM on July 31, 2004

Worst :)

Just imagine making sweet love to the sound of Jerry Goldsmith's magnificent Klingon Battle Cruiser Theme...or what about Patton?
posted by inksyndicate at 11:15 AM on July 31, 2004

Ladies, if your beau pauses to put on Wagner, run like hell.
posted by Vidiot at 11:16 AM on July 31, 2004

phew!
posted by andrew cooke at 11:27 AM on July 31, 2004

Just imagine making sweet love to the sound of Jerry Goldsmith's magnificent Klingon Battle Cruiser Theme

Nah. Imperial March from TESB, which doubles as the best Entrance Of The Bride(zilla) song ever.

Or the Oompa Loompa Song. Or perhaps the Interjections! song from Schoolhouse Rock.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:47 PM on July 31, 2004

Yes, the Imperial March would be hot.

Or "2 legit 2 quit" by Hammer. I'm sure someone has.
posted by inksyndicate at 12:53 PM on July 31, 2004

Good sex music:

Traditional - The Hokey Cokey
Steelers Wheel - Stuck in the middle with you
Nelly - Hot in here
Tenacious D - Fuck her gently
Weezer - Tired of sex
Weezer - Pink triangle
posted by wackybrit at 2:06 PM on July 31, 2004

Which Oompa Loompa song? They have a nice rhythm to them, but the part about blaming the mother and the father is...well, I guess it would remind you to use a condom, anyway.
posted by bingo at 2:39 PM on July 31, 2004

I'm d/ling all of your music into a special folder called "dobbs' sex music" - can't wait to listen to this - thanks!
posted by iconomy at 3:08 PM on July 31, 2004

I just changed it to dobb's shag music. Seemed more appropriate...
posted by iconomy at 3:15 PM on July 31, 2004

Since I don't have TESB Imperial March I offer for your listening pleasure:
TurnBothKnobs

I knew I'd find a use for that domain . . .
posted by geekyguy at 3:16 PM on July 31, 2004

BOLERO
posted by papercake at 3:33 PM on July 31, 2004

Is music a derogation during sex?

If the music in question is from your partner's Amy Grant CD collection, yes.

what quonsar said (for once). get a frigging education.

Or, y'know, you could use an actual dictionary to argue your point about words' definitions. Just a thought.
posted by ChrisTN at 3:41 PM on July 31, 2004

psst
posted by andrew cooke at 3:53 PM on July 31, 2004

eh? psst
posted by andrew cooke at 3:54 PM on July 31, 2004

i LIKE wagner...especially tannhauser....
posted by CunningLinguist at 4:58 PM on July 31, 2004

Holy shit, the Enterprise comment made me laugh something fierce.
posted by Quartermass at 6:27 PM on July 31, 2004

I had to get up and take Aphex Twin's Ventolin off the stereo once, although it might work for certain styles.

Eno is good.
posted by milovoo at 9:48 PM on July 31, 2004

I think Love Detective by Arab Strap is the sexiest song I can think of. Aidan Moffat's voice makes me melt. The song is about a man finding his girlfriend's sex diary in a drawer in their bedroom after she goes to work, and his anguish, so it's really the opposite of sexy, but there's just something about his voice, and that yummy Scottish accent...MELT, I tell ya. Very seductive.
posted by iconomy at 4:00 AM on August 1, 2004

Tied for first place - If Everything Fell Quiet, by Reindeer Section. Vocals by Aidan Moffat. Such pretty lyrics:

be my guide be my pilot
be the breath on my face
be the arms that can form it
be the heart in my chest
this is the way i want you to begin my life
i couldn't face another night like that again
be my hope, ill be your hope
be the hair that knots with my hair
be the drink when i am thirsty
be the hand to hold at night
this is the way i want you to begin my life
i couldn't face another night like that again

Be the hair that knots with my hair?? Who could resist that? You have to listen to the song to appreciate it.
posted by iconomy at 4:17 AM on August 1, 2004

Tied for first place - If Everything Fell Quiet, by Reindeer Section. Vocals by Aidan Moffat.

iconomy, I love Arab Strap (I think Philophobia is one of the top 100 records of all time), but never really went for the Reindeer Section. This song, for instance, makes me think of a couple falling in love montage in a movie (not a good thing). Also, I'm prepared to be wrong but if that's Aidan Moffat's voice I'll eat my hat. :)
posted by dobbs at 10:37 AM on August 1, 2004

Dobbs, I hear you, but I think there's a difference in the way that women hear a song and the way that men hear a song. It's as if he's singing the song to me when I hear it - is it like that for you? I sort of project the words onto whomever it is that I'm with, as if that person is singing those words to me. Also, words are way more important than music, seduction-wise. That's just the way I'm wired.

I'm pretty sure that's Aidan Moffat. I know he did the lead vocals on one song on the Y'all Get Scared Now, Ya Hear! cd (every Scottish rock cd must have a guest appearance by Aidan Moffat... ;), and I think that that's the song. Or it could be Gary Lightbody, but it sounds like Aidan Moffat. In my fantasies, it's Aidan Moffat!
posted by iconomy at 12:43 PM on August 1, 2004

My favorite make-out/sex album is definately The Orb's Adventures beyond the Ultraworld. (Though skipping Little Fluffy Clouds because it's too distracting)

Really, any kind of trancy, ambient music will do. I don't like to rush things.
posted by antimony at 3:15 PM on August 1, 2004

Iconomy, okay, after reading your followup post I had to scoot around and check into it as it was driving me nuts as I was pretty sure I could tell Moffat's voice after a single syllable. I found this on pitchforkmedia.com:

Arab Strap's Aidan Moffat shows up once on "Nytol," a song he lyrically co-write...

Sorry to ruin your fantasies... and yeah, I guess boys and girls hear things different. (Or, more correctly, you and I hear differently.) I always assume that I'm the one singing, rather than being the one sung to. And wow, I never actually thought of that before. When I think about it, I guess that's an ingrown thing in songs I like. I relate as the speaker rather than the listener.
posted by dobbs at 9:48 PM on August 1, 2004