Hi, I'm AWKWARD! (But how awkward am I?)
January 14, 2008 9:19 AM Subscribe
Do people with under-developed social skills know that their skills need work? If so, how?
posted by anonymous to human relations (23 answers total) 64 users marked this as a favorite
I’ve had trouble making and keeping friends throughout my life, from childhood, though high school and college and now into adulthood and the workplace. I only recently realized this pattern-- I’ve always been consumed by my work and always told myself that I could have friends if I wanted to make time for them. Turns out that might not be true.
Now I’m trying to figure out why people don’t seem to seek out my company, or don’t seem to enjoy spending time with me. I’m pretty sure that I’m no more awkward than your average nerd… But it recently occurred to me that lacking social skills would probably prevent me from, uh, knowing that I lack social skills. Hence my question: could I be completely socially inept and just not know it?
Some pertinent points:
-I feel pretty confident saying that I don’t have Asperger’s or the like. (I worked in social services for some time, am highly emotional, and I think I do well with “reading people” and navigating internal politics.)
-I get very nervous in social situations and become afraid that I’ll say the wrong thing. That, coupled with a diagnoses of Adult ADD (and the impulse control problems that come with it) means that I often *do* say the wrong thing. Never hurtful things-- more like jokes that turn out not to be funny, or revealing things I shouldn’t have.
-I’m shy and tend to be quiet around new people-- largely out of nervousness (see above). Do people just think I’m unfriendly?
What else should I be looking for? And do you guys have any advice for remedying this?
Since I can’t send anonymous thank yous, I thank you now, MeFites.