No, this ISN'T a mortuary, and no this ISN'T a meat locker.

December 18, 2007 11:29 PM

I want to buy an "official" sign or sticker that implies to the reader that "THE ROOM YOU ARE ENTERING IS GODDAMNED COLD!!!"

My clients semi-jokingly complain that the air-conditioning in my office is way too cold. But since I have about $25,000 worth of video editing equipment in front of my Captain Kirk chair, I like to err on the side of keeping the gear cool (I live in a sity where the median temperature is 85-89F, all year long).

It's become a running joke that I have sides of beef hidden in the drop ceiling, as if I'm a video producer by day, and butcher by night. To be honest, I've gotten sorta tired of the jokes, but since they will never stop, I might as well play along until they actually do. So I'd like to put a big sign or sticker (or some other creative thing that I haven't thought of) on my office door that--in a humorous, sarcastic and/or ironic way--says to the world, "yes I know my office is fucking cold, so I'll spare you the trouble of making a snarky comment about it".

I'm looking for things that are actually "real" signs (i.e. butcher shop signs? Antarctic research facility warning signs? Morgue signs?), and not necessarily things that are outright "jokey" signs, per se. But I'm still open to any suggestions.

Links to actual websites where I can purchase the type(s) of signs or stickers I'm looking for are even better!

posted by melorama to shopping (29 comments total)

Jesus Christ...just for the record, by "sity", I meant "city" of course. I'm not THAT illiterate.
posted by melorama at 11:32 PM on December 18, 2007

Oh and before anyone chimes in, I'm not interested in answers that boil down to "why don't you just turn your damn A/C down?". The way my office is designed, I don't have much control over the temperature. It's basically either on or off. And turning it off is absolutely out of the question.
posted by melorama at 11:34 PM on December 18, 2007

There are stores that sell emergency / safety equipment. You know - everything from boating flares, to fluorescent orange vests for road workers, to fire extinguishers, to acid-proof gloves. They also sell any kind of safety signage, and I wouldn't be surprised if they had something for "EXTREMELY COLD". Let your fingers to the walking.
posted by Jimbob at 11:41 PM on December 18, 2007

For example, this British site has a Danger Low Temperature sign.
posted by Jimbob at 11:46 PM on December 18, 2007

link
posted by lundman at 11:46 PM on December 18, 2007

This page has an official looking snowflake symbol.

You could put on a warning triangle sign, but it looks pretty good black on white, and yellow would be wrong for it.
posted by aubilenon at 11:50 PM on December 18, 2007

Actually just putting up a nice sign that says "antarctic research facility" would be pretty good
posted by aubilenon at 11:51 PM on December 18, 2007

If you cant find what you want commercially I have had good luck making fake official signs by just whipping up a rough design in Illustrator or Word, printing it out in black and white and taking it to a local copy shop. Get them to photocopy it onto colored paper and laminate it. Cost to you will be less than a couple bucks. Make sure you use helvetica for extra officialness.
posted by Pink Fuzzy Bunny at 11:56 PM on December 18, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

It might be kind to keep some extra jackets and gloves on hands for visitors who are dressed for the outside temperature.
posted by happyturtle at 11:58 PM on December 18, 2007

Try St. Claire's totally awesome safety sign builder.
posted by jjg at 12:09 AM on December 19, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

You could generate your own warning label and make a sign out of it.
posted by special-k at 12:12 AM on December 19, 2007

Or print off a Low Temp sign here.
posted by brautigan at 1:35 AM on December 19, 2007

"Please do not feed the penguins" from a zoo? "Watch for frost heaves"? (Possibly only someone who had lived in cold climates might get that.) How about a "How to recognize frostbite:" sign with a list of symptoms, the kind of thing you might find at a ski resort?

I'd also vote for making the sign yourself, though.
posted by XMLicious at 1:43 AM on December 19, 2007

OSHA signs.
posted by 517 at 1:49 AM on December 19, 2007

I get flak for my room always being cold, since I leave my windows open & heat off, so I definitely sympathize, and have been searching as well.

I've seriously thought about putting up a MSDS for either dry ice (solid CO2 - these MSDSs actually do exist), water ice, or cold air, You can find some stylized templates that can make it pretty funny. I've also thought about putting one of those "you are now crossing the arctic circle" signs up.

Best of luck.
posted by devilsbrigade at 1:52 AM on December 19, 2007

Polar bear warning sign?
posted by DrtyBlvd at 2:03 AM on December 19, 2007

Make some "ice stalactites" out of paper mache and chicken wire, paint 'em white and light blue, and hang 'em from your ceiling. Maybe build them onto some spare ceiling tiles so nothing's damaged.

A taxidermied penguin near the door would be cool too.

Or spray some Christmas tree flocking around your windows.

Etc.
posted by hjo3 at 2:17 AM on December 19, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

"Welcome to Alaska?"
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:18 AM on December 19, 2007

For the warning signs, if you can find a place that does vinyl decals, it's *really* cheap to get this kind of stuff cut because it doesn't take much. Just lay it out in a vector graphics program (the text needs to be vectors too) and you should be set.

Other ideas:

Hang a thick winter coat and gloves on a peg outside your door.

I love the stalactites idea above... that's made of awesome.

Add a few warning signs to your door, and I think you're set!
posted by SpecialK at 4:13 AM on December 19, 2007

"melorama has been exiled to Siberia by order of the Tsar." Write up an official-looking proclamation, etc.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:20 AM on December 19, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

I once saw an ad agency with a really elegant brass plaque hanging outside its doors. It had the agency's name in lovely script but below, in smaller script, wa this line:

"In cold weather, please do not place tongue on sign"

I've never forgotten it.
posted by lpsguy at 5:35 AM on December 19, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

If yours is the sort of workplace where it will be funny instead of grounds for a sexual harrassment lawsuit, a picture of that guy from Seinfeld with

DANGER
**SHRINKAGE**

underneath it.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:40 AM on December 19, 2007

Chemists and biochemists often have rooms called "cold rooms" that have signage outside of them about how cold they are. You'd normally get those kinds of signs via a Compliance store, as in compliance with OSHA and other safety regulations.

This might be your best bet from the OSHA side.
posted by kalessin at 6:50 AM on December 19, 2007

I found this: Extreme Cold Sign by googling "trucks hazard signs".

Trucks and delivery vehicles have to have visible hazardous materials placards when they carry anything of that nature. Maybe medical deliveries (oxygen, or something?) would be cold enough to warrant a placard, in addition to whatever other hazardous chemical-related signs they need.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 6:53 AM on December 19, 2007

Maybe one of these? You would have to use one of the above creative ways to make it, but this might be an idea.
Or this, or that, OR you could change it up and find a sign (maybe one of the above OSHA sites) that references it being HOT in your office. I dunno, make it opposite?
posted by ForeverDcember at 8:01 AM on December 19, 2007

Back when I lived up north, the cold-related signs I saw most often were bridge freezes before road and beware of falling ice.

But if the joke's about storing meat in there, then that's what you need to run with. If you can't find an appropriate sign, cut out grocery store ads for frozen foods and stick them to the door.
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:14 AM on December 19, 2007

Beer cave signage. And wallpaper with the sides of cases for extra class.
posted by fidelity at 10:50 AM on December 19, 2007

If you didn't really want to go the jokey route, I'd just put a typed sign on the door that said "this room is kept cold for the protection of video equipment."
posted by IndigoRain at 1:14 PM on December 19, 2007

At ski lodges, I have seen "Caution: Roof Sheds Snow"
posted by plinth at 1:52 PM on December 19, 2007