DivorceFilter: What does one do with one's wedding ring?

November 19, 2007 3:18 PM

DivorceFilter: What does one do with one's wedding ring?

Obviously, I'm not wearing it anymore but what do you do with it?

Far too expensive to throw away, I don't want to keep it in a drawer somewhere, no children to leave it to and I can't imagine there is a market for the secondhand wedding rings of divorcees.

Any advice/ideas?

posted by SpacemanRed to human relations (32 comments total)

There's a market for everything. You could:

1) Pawn it
2) Sell it (bear in mind you'll get back something like 50% of actual value)
3) Melt it down for new jewellery
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 3:19 PM on November 19, 2007

Sell it and donate the money to a charity.
posted by milarepa at 3:20 PM on November 19, 2007

If you got it from some where like Tiffanys that sells other things, usually they will give you its full retail value in trade for something else. Go get something nice.
posted by jeffamaphone at 3:21 PM on November 19, 2007

Melt it into a teardrop.
posted by hortense at 3:25 PM on November 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

I threw mine into the Colorado River. It felt really good.
posted by Item at 3:31 PM on November 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

There is definitely a market for used wedding rings, and people by and large do not care why the ring is no longer in use.
posted by The World Famous at 3:32 PM on November 19, 2007

Pawn it?
posted by DrGirlfriend at 3:49 PM on November 19, 2007

Buy it a little coffin and give it the funeral it deserves.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 3:51 PM on November 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

unless it's engraved, sell it. there's a market for everything.
posted by thinkingwoman at 4:06 PM on November 19, 2007

Selling it on consignment at Pearlman's is one option. I presume there are other places like this, but this is the one I know about.

(This is definitely what I'd do. Sell it, that is. Unless I had younger relatives who would enjoy it, which I do not currently.)

Unless it's worth absolutely nothing, in which case, just donate it to any charity.
posted by iguanapolitico at 4:10 PM on November 19, 2007

(Sorry, you said it was expensive; don't know how I missed that. Don't donate it. I mean, unless you're a nicer person than I am.)
posted by iguanapolitico at 4:13 PM on November 19, 2007

Everyone I know who got divorced without children and whose wedding ring was not a family heirloom just stuck it in a box with the other things from the marriage they couldn't quite get rid of. No-one I know who is divorced has yet been married long enough to want to be rid of that box, but all of them intend to consign the ring at a resale shop if they ever get around to discarding the box of things.
posted by crush-onastick at 4:15 PM on November 19, 2007

You'll only get a fraction of its value if you pawn or sell it. If that doesn't bother you, go for it. Otherwise, you might try bartering it -- check out your local Craigslist to see if there are any goods or services you'd be willing to trade for.

As for me, I put mine in a box. I keep meaning to have the diamond from the engagement setting reset as a pendant (it had actually belonged to my grandmother, and we used it for the engagement ring), but haven't ever managed to get round to it.
posted by scody at 4:27 PM on November 19, 2007

Any pawnshop or secondhand jewelry seller has boxes and boxes and boxes of wedding rings. You'll get a teeny-tiny fraction of the price if you sell it.
posted by desuetude at 4:32 PM on November 19, 2007

Are you on good terms with the ex? I'd imagine that a pawn shop may pay a slightly higher price for a matched set, and then you could split the money.
posted by saffry at 4:49 PM on November 19, 2007

cash4gold.com
posted by Gungho at 5:06 PM on November 19, 2007

When I still used to wear jewelry (which I don't at all anymore), I often wore mine, usually stacked with another narrow different looking ring. It was a nice plain band, I liked how it looked, and I had bought the dang thing with my own hard-earned cash, so I saw no reason to stop wearing it just because my domestic status had changed.
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:10 PM on November 19, 2007

This is the reason they invented I Do...Now I Don't. It's a site where people auction off their old wedding jewelry.

I've never used the site, and even if you decide not to use it you could at least get an idea of how much pre-owned wedding rings are going for.
posted by christinetheslp at 5:16 PM on November 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

I can't imagine there is a market for the secondhand wedding rings

Are you kidding? Perhaps you want to contact mpls2. Anyway, these things sell for value. Take the cash.
posted by caddis at 5:53 PM on November 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

Here's an old Dear Prudence column from Slate about what some women did with their wedding rings.
posted by peep at 6:01 PM on November 19, 2007

Given you're SpaceMANRed, I'll guess you're a dude and therefore your ring most likely has no stones.

You won't get much to sell it, unless you sell it directly to someone to wear, in which case you could get about half what you paid for it. But new prospective grooms and brides tend to be a bit superstitious when it comes to rings of divorcees. You'll get dick to sell it for scrap, too.

I love TPS's idea to give it a formal burial with friends in attendance. That could be a goddamn wonderful day, if you've moved on to having a sense of humor about it.

But if you're not, then I'd say either (a) resize it, maybe set a couple of stones on it, and wear it on another finger, or (b) dispose of it in an angry manner.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:29 PM on November 19, 2007

Kept mine—it's stuck away in a drawer. It was an important chapter in my life. It's one of the only artifacts I have symbolic of it.
posted by adamrice at 7:10 PM on November 19, 2007

I find it's good to keep around some talismans of previous mistakes, to give yourself some tangible things to juggle, when thinking over future decisions. Mine include past wedding rings, the keys to houses and businesses I no longer own, a nice watch from a person who vowed to kill me if we ever met again, the tusk of a wild pig that nearly gutted me, a bullet that sailed 3 inches past my right ear, etc. Given that what you probably paid for the ring is nothing compared to what the marriage probably cost you, it seems keeping it as the start of a private talisman collection might be warranted.

You collect enough of 'em, and your future decision making will be much more risk averse, if you only remember to handle all 'em, before committing to any new course of action.
posted by paulsc at 7:11 PM on November 19, 2007 [4 favorites]

Mine's floating around on my bureau top. I'll never wear it again but I don't think I want to get rid of it, exactly ...
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 7:19 PM on November 19, 2007

I left mine in drawer for my ex. I figured she would pawn it for gambling money. My last act of enabling.
posted by The Deej at 7:28 PM on November 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

Mine's in the Potomac, near the bridge to Roosevelt Island. It was an impulsive move, but one I don't regret.
posted by MrMoonPie at 8:02 PM on November 19, 2007

Here's what I hope to do with mine someday.
posted by solotoro at 8:10 PM on November 19, 2007

To be blunt, the market is kinda bad. I just sold my wedding ring set (as in, the band and the engagement ring) for $200 cash, and my ex paid almost 5 grand for them. I realize that's an overshare, but you need to know the reality.

I took my grandmother's wedding ring that she left me and had it remade into a ring for myself and used my old wedding rings as the trade-in for the remaking fees... if you can think of something you'd wear, or give to a loved one (like your mother or a sibling), maybe go with that.

Otherwise, you can donate it to a charity for an auction and write it off, I am pretty sure. It's close to Christmas; eBay might be a good option, too (you know people do impulse buys around the holidays).
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 8:21 PM on November 19, 2007

I pawned mine, but I never got around to it until the new bride in my life suggested she'd be more comfortable if I did so (well before the wedding)
posted by stevis23 at 8:31 PM on November 19, 2007

Mine came from a pawn shop and I'd rather not hex someone else with it. I think I'm just joking about that.

The wedding ring (a white gold faceted band) resides with other jewelry I no longer wear. Someday I hope to smelt it and make it into a wee component of a larger artwork. I should get on that, I guess--I graduate next semester and it may be quite some time before I have access to metalsmith gear again.

I returned the diamond engagement ring to my ex-husband. Actually, to his mom since she was the one who bought the ring and "proposed" to me.
posted by bonobo at 8:38 PM on November 19, 2007

I had mine melted down (just the band, there wasn't a stone) and made into a different ring.
posted by 6:1 at 9:04 PM on November 19, 2007

I wear it when I'm going anywhere particularly fun or doing anything adventurous, or that I'm very proud of.

It used to bother me but I just started wearing it and the more I wore it, the less I cared, until it became a visual reminder of my resilience.

I suppose I used it as ongoing visual desensitization therapy.

I was wearing it on my right hand the first time we encountered each other socially since he left me. It was a great party. It hurt his feelings. Oops, I guess.
posted by sondrialiac at 4:42 AM on November 20, 2007