Do men get bored of seeing sexy underwear on their girlfriend all... the... time?

March 7, 2007 5:50 AM

Do men get bored of seeing sexy underwear on their girlfriend all... the... time?

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 months, and I am a big, big fan of very sexy underwear. Stockings, hold-ups, different styles of knickers (different colours, shapes, fabrics, see-through, not see-through - though always very very classy: the term 'crotchless' makes me cringe) and my boyfriend absolutely loves it.

He does comment on it a lot, once to say "its basically off the scale how sexy you look right now". So I'm guessing it's working very well. (I'm not being vain at all here, just giving an indication of how much he does like it.)

I was just wondering, if he sees it all the time, is he going to tire of it so that I somehow have to crank it up a notch? (And I don't really know how one would do that without, say, passing on underwear altogether.) Or do men just never tire of seeing their girlfriends in a variety of sexy lingerie?

Oh, as a sidenote, I do really enjoy wearing it, it's definitely not all for him. Most of it I've had for years and wear it just for myself. So to calm it down a little would actually be pretty boring for me. But I was wondering if maybe I should calm it down occasionally so that it's extra pleasing for him when I do break out the really hot stuff.

posted by trampesque to clothing, beauty, & fashion (66 comments total)

Is this a trick question?
Wear it for yourself; enjoy that he enjoys it.
Make sure he is as assiduous in pleasing you, too!
posted by Dizzy at 5:54 AM on March 7, 2007

and my boyfriend absolutely loves it.

Too much of a good thing is still a good thing.

Or do men just never tire of seeing their girlfriends in a variety of sexy lingerie?

It doesn't matter what men likes, it matters what your boyfriend likes. Communication is key in relationships.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:54 AM on March 7, 2007

No, he will not get bored.
posted by OmieWise at 5:56 AM on March 7, 2007

No. No we do not.

Peak sexy underwear is a myth.
posted by PEAK OIL at 5:56 AM on March 7, 2007 [28 favorites has favorites]

I'd love to answer "yes" to this question, but in reality, no, we'll never get tired of it. For men, there's no shortage whatsoever of interest in sexiness. Of course cute little boyshorts have their own appeal, but he'll always love it.
posted by The Michael The at 5:57 AM on March 7, 2007

Throwing in a "no, never" vote
posted by saraswati at 5:58 AM on March 7, 2007

Do men get bored of seeing sexy underwear on their girlfriend all... the... time?
No. Keep doing it. He won't tire. jealous
posted by chillmost at 5:58 AM on March 7, 2007

Mix it up with cute and innocent white cotton panties. Nice can be naughty too, sometimes.
posted by junkbox at 5:59 AM on March 7, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

junkbox nails it
posted by progosk at 6:02 AM on March 7, 2007

I used to have a girlfriend who only wore sexy underwear from Victoria's Secret, Frederick's, etc. I found it highly stimulating, and would tell her so from time to time.

Thing was, she would get mad whenever we were getting ready to fool around and I didn't comment on how sexy her panties were. She made it a point to keep going on and on about how she only wore sexy panties, and didn't have any granny panties. I thought overall she was sexy, and would tell her so, but if I didn't mention those damned panties, it was over.

I really enjoyed the sexy panties, but not the headaches that came with it. So, yes, I did tire of them after a while.

So, the moral of the story is: Please wear the sexy panties, but please don't put your boyfriend in a situation where he has to notice and comment on them every single time.
posted by reenum at 6:03 AM on March 7, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

Haha, reenum, don't worry. I genuinely was surprised at how much of an effect they were having - any mention is a nice surprise for me, and certainly not expected.
posted by trampesque at 6:06 AM on March 7, 2007

Pardon me for having the mind of a 12-year-old boy, but you were SURPRISED at the effect you were having?
I thought that was the point of it.
Please advise.
posted by Dizzy at 6:11 AM on March 7, 2007

No.
posted by four panels at 6:22 AM on March 7, 2007

Nope
posted by zeoslap at 6:27 AM on March 7, 2007

Dizzy, call me really naive (and actually, I AM), but this is my first ever relationship, and it's about his third. And I really honestly thought all girls - at least occasionally/frequently - wore really sexy underwear, just for no reason except they like it.
His reaction leads me to believe this might not be the case. And I found it really surprising.
posted by trampesque at 6:37 AM on March 7, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

From the girl-on-girl perspective: do I ever get tired of seeing my lovers in sexy underwear?



Fuck, no.

One tiny tiny mini caveat: if, at some point in the future, you stop wearing the sexy underwear, you may get comments from your boyfriend about how he misses it.
posted by pollystark at 6:38 AM on March 7, 2007

Ha. That's like asking if men ever get tired of blow jobs.
posted by miss tea at 6:38 AM on March 7, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

With sexy underwear, there is always a way to "crank it up a notch": take it off.

But yeah, it never gets old.
posted by Loto at 6:41 AM on March 7, 2007

hirez plz kthx

No, but keep in mind what junkbot and TheMichaelThe said. The specifics of their comments may reflect their own tastes, but the point is that the clothes don't have to be explicitly (hehe!) sexy to be sexy.
posted by spaceman_spiff at 6:52 AM on March 7, 2007

I am certain to tire of breathing before I tire of gazing at my beloved in skimpy underwear. The notion of "too much" refuses to form into a coherent thought in my brain.
posted by Lame_username at 7:04 AM on March 7, 2007

With sexy underwear, there is always a way to "crank it up a notch": take it off.

This seems to get me double "sexy knickers" milage with my SO, as he's forever asking me "Are these new?" with stuff I've had for a good while.

I figure the speed with which they are taken off directly affects his memory of that piece of lingerie. YMMV :D
posted by romakimmy at 7:05 AM on March 7, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

No. Really. Not at all.

I'm jealous.
posted by majick at 7:09 AM on March 7, 2007

Never... never ever.


Boyshorts could be fun on occasion though.
One more jealous boy.
posted by MonkNoiz at 7:19 AM on March 7, 2007

I'll be contrarian and say yes. In fact, I don't like "sexy" underwear at all. For the most part I find those things vain and, well, anticlamactic.

Few things disappoint me as much as removing a woman's pants and finding out she's wearing a thong (though a tattoo comes a close second). The thong was the worst thing to happen to female apparell pretty much forever (but for things that do physical damage, of course).

There's an old saying: the greater the resistence the sweeter the surrender. (Please don't take that the wrong way.) There's something to be said for keeping things hidden. There's a reason we wrap gifts and that gift wrap isn't usually transparent.
posted by dobbs at 7:26 AM on March 7, 2007 [6 favorites has favorites]

No. And men never get tired of seeing their boyfriends in sexy underwear, either.

(Woof.)
posted by mykescipark at 7:27 AM on March 7, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

I'm going to go against the herd here and say that just as someone may tire of top quality steak night after night after god-damned night, someone may tire of the same kind of underwear.

So just mix it up a bit. Go for black, then red, then white, then purple. Short, skimpy, whatever. And occasionally just throw on a man's shirt and walk around the house.
posted by badlydubbedboy at 7:28 AM on March 7, 2007

dobbs, I agree about the thongs. I hate them. Thongs and G-Strings were definitely not what i was talking about. :)
posted by trampesque at 7:29 AM on March 7, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

I don't get tired of them, I suppose, but only because I'm just not a big fan. It's the clothing equivalent of a sexy leer or come-hither look, which in real life looks basically like "I am crapping my pants" or "I have serious mental problems."

Sex is just sex. It isn't some big thing that needs to have itself pointed out to you. Sexy undies say HEY LOOK SEXINESS HERE I AM BEING SEXY FOR THE SEX BECAUSE SEX REQUIRES IT! STOP GIGGLING, THIS IS SERIOUS SEXY BUSINESS GOING ON HERE!

And most of the time, I don't want to nail some tart in fuck-me panties, I want to get it on with my beloved. You want sexy? Regular old panties and a threadbare old t-shirt, and a happy grin.

Of course, if she wants to come into the room dressed like Slave Girl Leia or Wilma Deering or Betty Rubble or the Alien from Alien, that's a whole different thing. That's just fun.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:58 AM on March 7, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

junkbox nails it

And how!
posted by Totally Zanzibarin' Ya at 8:00 AM on March 7, 2007

Most people have two sets of buttons. They have the buttons that they always want pressed — feet for the foot fetishist, breasts for the boob man, lingerie for your lucky boyfriend — and then a much larger set of buttons that you can press sometimes for variety.

The longer you're with your boyfriend, the more he'll want some of those other buttons pressed. That's just human nature — in a long-term relationship, we need variety to keep our attention. But that won't mean he's tired of the lingerie; it definitely won't mean he wants you to stop wearing it.

Most of the time, trying new stuff in bed is like watching your favorite movie with someone new, or hanging an old picture in a new room — it lets you see something you've always liked as intensely as if it were the first time. Someday years from now, you and your boyfriend will be doing some odd thing to spice up your sex life, and in that new context he'll look up and realize all over again how hot you look in those garters. That's what novelty is for.
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:05 AM on March 7, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

I'm not going to say he'll actively wish you would wear something else once in a while, but the effect is bound to wear off at some point, especially if you're seeing each other a lot. And I think that's OK, because there are plenty of other things you can do to keep it interesting.

And occasionally just throw on a man's shirt and walk around the house.

Yeah, this is a good one. Tell your friends!
posted by teleskiving at 8:07 AM on March 7, 2007

not only no - hell no.

Sexy Underwear every day please.

And for me - the effect would never wear off.
posted by captainzero at 8:11 AM on March 7, 2007

I'll say no, but I think, like most of the people commenting in the thread, I'm doing so without the benefit of trial. It's easy to say I wouldn't get tired of something I've never experienced (sexy underwear *all* the time) and have liked in small doses.

I may very well change my mind if put in the situation, however.
posted by Manhasset at 8:21 AM on March 7, 2007

Are you hot? Then the answer is "no".

Lose the stockings/garters (I'm guessing that is what Brits call "hold-ups") thing, however. It's trite.
posted by wfc123 at 8:24 AM on March 7, 2007

Well out of interest, wfc123, I wear skirts/dresses often, and therefore tights (pantyhose?) to keep my legs warm. And in my opinion, that is a really unsexy look, once dress/skirtless. So surely hold-ups are better? (I mean the ones that stay on by themselves - not the garter-belt look so much)
posted by trampesque at 8:28 AM on March 7, 2007

As long as it's not the same set every day, I imagine the variation between different sets of sexy underwear would be enough variation. It certainly would be for me. And holdups over pantyhose any day of the week. With or without garters. It's alllll good. :)
posted by antifuse at 8:34 AM on March 7, 2007

Sorry, off topic a bit, but can one of you thong-haters please step forward? There's nothing I love better than removing a woman's pants and seeing two cute little asscheeks with a thong in between. I've never heard of this anti-thong establishment; I'm bewildered.
posted by jckll at 8:35 AM on March 7, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

dobbs and nebulawindphone have it spot-on. My own take: everyone gets tired of everything; it might be amusing to say otherwise in an AskMe full of guys but it's true. But there are far worse things to get tired of than sexy underwear, and it sure as hell won't happen anytime soon. Plus it only takes a little variety - or rather, a little conscientiousness - to keep things interesting. Eventually desire wanes. But when it happens it won't have anything to do with your underwear, so wear what you want, and enjoy one another's enjoyment.

Also: You're young, right? Quite young, I suppose, if this is your first relationship. Don't worry about it. There are far more important relationship lessons to learn, first time out.
posted by waxbanks at 8:38 AM on March 7, 2007

No, we do not.
posted by slimepuppy at 8:39 AM on March 7, 2007

Another vote for No.

And, trampesque, I'd have submitted this response earlier, but it's difficult typing with one hand. *har
posted by thanotopsis at 8:45 AM on March 7, 2007

I'll run against the herd and say that attitude and body language is more important than anything. When you live with someone 7 days a week there are going to be times when nudity and underwear are just not sexy. (Especially when you both are running five minutes late and fighting for shower time.) But a partner can make wearing a paper bag look sexy given the right mood and the right smile.

And personally, the comfort of the person wearing the underwear is more important than the actual underwear. It only works for me if the person wearing it is having fun. If you don't like wearing something, that's going to spoil the mood.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 9:05 AM on March 7, 2007

but can one of you thong-haters please step forward?

boo thongs. (right ugly word, too.)
posted by progosk at 9:11 AM on March 7, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Or do men just never tire of seeing their girlfriends in a variety of sexy lingerie?

The way that this question is described, this would not be tiresome to me at all.
posted by rabbitsnake at 9:19 AM on March 7, 2007

but can one of you thong-haters please step forward?

Hello!

What's sexy about wedgies? That's what thongs look like to me. I'm a straight woman, though, so I'm probably not who the whale talers are trying to attract.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:31 AM on March 7, 2007

Do men get bored of seeing sexy underwear on their girlfriend all... the... time?

No.

And I really honestly thought all girls - at least occasionally/frequently - wore really sexy underwear

Sadly, this is not the case.
posted by lekvar at 9:53 AM on March 7, 2007

wfc123,

For some women stockings and garters are part of their regular wardrobe, not just a sexy lingerie thing. For some of us they're just more comfortable than pantyhose when wearing skirts or dresses. I am assuming your comment about losing the stockings / garters was restricted to them being worn solely as sexy bedroom wear.
posted by needled at 10:09 AM on March 7, 2007

I think thongs are silly, and my wife thinks they're hideously uncomfortable. In her words, "if I wanted a wedgie, I'd have stayed in grade school".

Most of my loathing for them comes from the unbelievably tacky trend of having the thong show above the waistline of the jeans. I mean, ye gods, it's not even "have you no shame", it's right into "you look like a moron, and YOU ARE DELIBERATELY DOING SO".

So here's one thong hater. Plus, dude, chafed asshole is nobody's idea of a good time

In re: the main topic, as far as I'm concerned, sexy is a state of mind and a matter of confidence. What you're wearing is decoration, at best.
posted by scrump at 10:19 AM on March 7, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Agreed wholly that the thong-outside-the-pants look is awful and garish, but disagree entirely with the characterization of a thong as a permanent wedgie. Thong may be a nasty-sounding word, so call it what you want, but I still think a nice thong is one of the sexiest pieces of underwear a woman can wear.

Chafed asshole probably does suck, I've never worn one personally so I don't know, but I've had serious conversations with at least two women who insist that the discomfort from wearing thongs quickly goes away. My most recent ex, who wore a thong/g-string every day and maybe owned two pair of "regular" underwear, insisted, to my disbelief at first, that she didn't even notice it anymore and found it just as comfortable as "regular" full-ass underwear.

But the comfort issue is different from what it sounds like you all are arguing. I can understand how you wouldn't want your SO to worry about wearing undergarments that are uncomfortable to her, but the claim that thongs are gross or not sexy/less sexy than regular underwear baffles me! Maybe it's a generational thing...
posted by jckll at 10:35 AM on March 7, 2007

One more pro-thong comment: I was very resistant to wearing thongs at first, but after a few weeks they were just as comfortable as any other underwear.

I don't find thongs attractive, but I find visible panty line even less attractive (although I understand some men find it titillating, god bless them). I much prefer boy shorts, but they just won't work under all my clothes.

However, if I put on sexy underwear for my husband, I choose boy shorts or bikinis every time.

Oh, and on the subject of stockings - I greatly prefer them to pantyhose. I have quite a collection, including a nice pair of wool ones which are definitely not sexy. I use a garter belt, because thigh-highs just don't stay up on me.
posted by Evangeline at 10:44 AM on March 7, 2007

Sexy underwear does not get tiring unless it's the same pair of underwear worn day-in, day-out. Especially unwashed. That would probably start becoming a turn-off.

Also: trampesque, you have probably the most eponysterical set of AskMe questions of any user I've seen!
posted by schroedinger at 1:27 PM on March 7, 2007

I will throw in a few caveats. If the underwear in question are too delicate to deal with some roughhousing that might result from arousal, give me boring white cotton any day of the week. In fact, for sheer variety, you might consider getting a throwaway cotton T-shirt, snipped slightly at the neck, and then have him actually rip it off of you with fun tearing sounds.

Also, if you feel so sexy you want to have sex still wearing the items in question, that's also a drag. The crotch-snap teddy has to be one of my least favorite inventions.
posted by adipocere at 2:26 PM on March 7, 2007

alright, now I have a question... why are boyshorts only some of the time? I am a big fan of them (girl here) and so is my fiance.
I do NOT like thongs, never have and my fiance has said he doesn't either (he doesn't like transparent ones either) I think it is just going to vary slightly from man to man.
This is the thing about girls always wearing sexy underwear (as per your statement about thinking it was what we all do) In my opinion, if you think someone will be taking your pants off that night, you wear 'em, otherwise... no point... oh and during "that time of month" I would hate to have on some favorite little sexies, what if there is an oops???
posted by ForeverDcember at 3:17 PM on March 7, 2007

Not all men have underwear fetishes, so some guys might be bored by the "sexy" underwear right from the start. (I'm mostly in that camp; underwear just doesn't do much for me. This is a great irritant to my partner, who likes to dress up -- I make sure to say nice things, but really it's only going without that excites me.)

But assuming that he's into sexy knickers, I'll go against the majority here and say that yes, he might become habituated and stop seeing your everyday / sexy underwear as sexy, and just see it as everyday or normal. That is, you will have redefined "normal" such that your sexy stuff won't be so sexy anymore.

That might be less an issue if you really rotate the styles around, and include funky retro stuff, plain white cotton, and wild and crazy new stuff sometimes. But if you are cycling through one or two drawers worth of knickers, at some point it will lose its novelty value.
posted by Forktine at 3:35 PM on March 7, 2007

Am I the only one slightly confused about what "sexy underwear" actually is? Are we talking extravagant lacy silky bits of fluff that don't cover anything and are likely to fall apart in the wash after two wearings, or are we broadening it to "anything that isn't white cotton granny-panties?" I (straight female) tend to wear bikinis and boyshorts and string bikinis, in various degrees of "sexiness" according to material and color/print (red silky string > blue cotton boyshorts, but I don't consider the blue cotton to be completely unsexy and prudish or utilitarian-only by any stretch...).

My general rule of thumb is that I don't wear anything that makes me feel less sexy after I put it on than I feel naked, but frankly I'm too poor to afford Victoria's Secret. What's the range we're talking about?

(Also, another for the "thongs are not as cool as you think they are" camp here.)
posted by po at 3:41 PM on March 7, 2007

My boyfriend unabashedly dislikes lacy and frilly and satiny. But cute cotton panties (from boy shorts to string bikinis), he is compelled to comment on their cuteness.

Luckily, we're in agreement on that front.
posted by birdie birdington at 3:43 PM on March 7, 2007

I would add to the chorus of nos, but you've eliminated thongs and garters, so we wouldn't even really be speaking the same language. Good to know that dobbs and I will never be competing for anybody.
posted by bingo at 4:52 PM on March 7, 2007

Can the girls who are anti-thong please tell me what kind of underwear they're wearing that doesn't cause any visible lines underneath their clothes? Because if I knew what it was, I'd be wearing it. Boy shorts and the like are find under my fuller skirts and sometimes jeans (since denim is thick), but they're just not working under the slim pants, pencil skirts and dresses I wear to work. I don't dress like a tart, but I do wear body-conscious clothing, and lines or bulges kind of ruin the look and (to me) look trashy. Occasionally I'll even go without underwear rather than ruin the line of a dress. Oh my, that DOES sound trashy...
posted by Evangeline at 6:48 PM on March 7, 2007

Evangeline--boyshorts with the wide stretchy lace bands at waist and leg openings don't seem to leave lines for me, but I don't know how tightly you wear your clothes. But without the stretchy lace, boyshorts always cause VPL.

Also I am very comfortable in thongs, they never cause a wedgie feeling unless they are too small. And underwear that's too small is uncomfortable no matter how much coverage it's supposed to give.
posted by chelseagirl at 7:48 PM on March 7, 2007

but can one of you thong-haters please step forward?

I believe they have the same target market (as viewer) as wet t-shirt contests and glory-hole videos, neither of which is sexy. But maybe that's just me. (Hey, you asked!)
posted by dobbs at 8:16 PM on March 7, 2007

No. I never ever tire of it.

"And I really honestly thought all girls - at least occasionally/frequently - wore really sexy underwear, just for no reason except they like it."

Unfortunately, there are many that *refuse* to wear anything that could be thought of as "sexy" at all. Meh.

And too bad about the thongs. I love them. Uh, not on me, on my girlfriend, who has an amazing booty. :D
posted by drstein at 9:10 PM on March 7, 2007

I believe they have the same target market (as viewer) as wet t-shirt contests and glory-hole videos, neither of which is sexy. But maybe that's just me. (Hey, you asked!)

Well, as I said, it could be a generational thing. I'm in my mid-20's, and don't particularly find wet t-shirt contests or glory-hole videos sexy, but a thong is another story. If a woman is dressing in sexy lingerie, nice lacy bra, etc, etc, full-butt panties just kind of ruin it in my opinion.
posted by jckll at 9:51 PM on March 7, 2007

I'm in agreement with chelseagirl -- if a thong feels like a permanent wedgie, there's something wrong with it -- too small, fabric doesn't have enough stretch, whatever. If they fit right and are a suitable material, I find them as comfortable as any other style -- more so in some cases, as some pairs of trousers seem to like to turn fuller panty styles into wedgies, and the thongs prevent that since there's just no excess fabric there to bunch up!
posted by Smilla's Sense of Snark at 11:01 PM on March 7, 2007

Can the girls who are anti-thong please tell me what kind of underwear they're wearing that doesn't cause any visible lines underneath their clothes?

I wear the common or garden bikini briefs (oh my god, what did I just share on the Interweb?). VPL isn't an issue with my wardrobe.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:20 AM on March 8, 2007

Evangeline: Hanes Body Enhancers. (Oh my god. Are they discontinued? Must. Stock. Up!) They're like wearing control top pantyhose, without the hose.
posted by junkbox at 10:34 AM on March 8, 2007

Yes, some of us absolutely do get sick of seeing our SOs in sexy undies. Take them off! Now!

:-)
posted by bryon at 5:01 PM on March 8, 2007

I'm a thong-hater but I also like sexy lingerie. I just don't find thongs all that flattering to my particular behind. I'm more of a black lacy hipster/boyshort kind of girl. And at some point thongs get so tiny they cross over into ridiculous. I mean, you may as well just take them off.

as for VPL issues, I have some "seamless" panties I got from some department store and they work well enough. I mean, you'd really have to lean in to see my panty lines and at that point the issue changes.
posted by kitalea at 3:41 PM on March 9, 2007