Feelings for the ex?
September 18, 2006 5:50 PM Subscribe
To what extent is it okay/normal to have feelings for one's ex? What if you're in a new, very serious, relationship?
posted by anonymous to human relations (20 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
Things ended with the ex in question not so much because of a lack of passion but because we were simply incompatible in everyway pertaining to life in the real world. In a vacuum, we would have been fine. We had several aborted attempts at reconciliation, which always started out secretly, one-on-one (i.e., in a vacuum) but soon became unbearable when we have to face reality.
Now I am in a wonderful relationship that works very well in terms of reality, but isn't always as passionate (what real relationship is?) as the one I had with my ex.
From time to time (quite often, actually), I think of my ex, just as I often thought of him before one of our ill-fated attempts. I know that I am being unrealistic, and that even if I were single, I would not to be with him. Still, I can't shake the reoccuring thought (which has reoccured since I met him 5 years ago) that I am "in love" with him. I have reason to believe that he still have similar feelings for me.
I am also in love with my S.O., but it's different, comfortable, much realer than odd feelings I have for the ex.
Is this healthy? How can I make it stop?