Viagra: It's Not Just For Horny College Guys Any More!

May 24, 2006 1:40 PM

What's it like to rely on Viagra?

My partner is having surgery, and afterward will probably be unable to get an erection except with Viagra. I'm having trouble understanding how his arousal might work when the penis doesn't do its thing naturally.

Pardon my ignorance, but is it possible for men to feel aroused and interested in sex as they always have, getting excited by foreplay and such, just minus the erection unless/until you take the drug? Or does lack of erection mean a lack of arousal too, making sex really a planned activity? I guess I'm asking how separate the erection and arousal are. Can we still be spontaneous?

Yeah, we'll discover our own answers in time, but I'm curious now. Also, if you have any useful advice for the female partner, I'm all ears.

posted by anonymous to human relations (17 comments total)

According to TV commercials I've seen some of the newer drugs work for hours, letting you be more 'spontaneous'.
posted by delmoi at 2:16 PM on May 24, 2006

You may wish to provide (through an e-mail to jessamyn perhaps) an anonymous e-mail address that people could reply to so that people who have useful information to contribute, but who are shy about their own private details could respond without 'outing' themselves or their partners here.

I would also be willing to post anyone's responses or anon's e-mail address while protecting anonymity, but e-mailing jessamyn is the community standard.
posted by raedyn at 2:32 PM on May 24, 2006

Most guys have some situations where they're physically unable to get it up. Maybe they're drinking a lot, or taking drugs, or just had an orgasm. I know for me, when I'm in one of those situations, it's still possible to get aroused — and damn frustrating, too. And from all the griping and grousing I hear about "whiskey dick" and the like, I suspect that most other guys are in the same boat — able to get turned on even when they can't get an erection, and frustrated by the experience.

I've never taken Viagra, though, much less been dependent on it, so Y(P)MMV. I'd be curious to hear from someone who has.
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:54 PM on May 24, 2006

I've never taken Viagra either, but to answer the more general question; It's absolutely possible, and quite common, for men to get aroused even if they are unable to get an erection. Diabetes, blood pressure problems, nervous system problems, drugs, etc can all make it more difficult or impossible to get an erection but I assure you that even people with diabetes or CNS problems get aroused.
posted by Justinian at 3:02 PM on May 24, 2006

From everything I've read about Viagra, it doesn't actually just magically give you an erection whether you're aroused or not.

You could take one and not have a hard-on for a week -- it's just that if you did get aroused and you did get one, it would be harder and longer lasting.

So it just improves the erection you'd get anyway, it doesn't produce one on demand. So if you're physically unable to get one, it might not help.

Are you sure that the doctors are saying that the problem will be solved with Viagra? Not some other kind of drug?

(Also I don't think anyone actually takes Viagra any more, it's pretty much been replaced by Cialis, but "Viagra" is like "hoover", "biro" and "xerox", it's come to be a generic term.)
posted by AmbroseChapel at 3:06 PM on May 24, 2006

AmbroseChapel, boner pills definitely make it possible for people who otherwise couldn't get erections to get erections. That's why they are prescribed for men with "erectile dysfunction". The dysfunction being referred to is the whole "difficult or impossible to get an erection.".
posted by Justinian at 3:10 PM on May 24, 2006

This is no big deal. Erections occur in the penis, but sexual arousal occurs upstairs in the brain. The operation is probably causing a disconnect between those two organs; my guess is that it's likely to injure the nerves that travel in the capsule of the prostate gland, on their way from the autonomic ganglia of the pelvis to the penis itself.

When a person becomes aroused in the brain, signals travel down the spinal cord to the ganglia in question, activating special autonomic nerves. When these nerves are activated, they tell some very special arteries to open up. They do this by releasing some neurotransmitters that start a biochemical cascade, which results in the relaxation of the smooth muscle that ordinarily keeps these arteries tightly closed. Result: arteries open up, filling the cavernous bodies of the penis with blood and causing it to become erect. So you have an aroused brain and an erect penis, which are more or less the necessary ingredients for sex.

Viagra comes in in the middle of that cascade and just sort of switches the whole deal on. Result: Brain is aroused, nerves are silent because the surgeon damaged them, but the arteries open up, the penis becomes erect anyway. So you have, again, an aroused brain and an erect penis.

For all the jokes about it, Viagra and its sister drugs (brother drugs???) have pretty much been the best thing to happen for a lot of folks, suffering from things like diabetes, spinal injury, prostate cancer, peripheral neuropathy, and the like. Sex is a big part of life and to be deprived of it by disease was a really terrible thing.
posted by ikkyu2 at 4:07 PM on May 24, 2006

I've been wondering the same thing. I have a friend who can't stay hard with a condom on and I wondered if this could be a solution. If a condom generally causes him to lose his erection, would Viagra keep it hard?
posted by CunningLinguist at 4:10 PM on May 24, 2006

From a guy at a bar who was all too willing to share on this very topic, Cunning, it works for him. I have no personal experience with Viagra, but having sat in the next booth over a couple weeks ago, Drunko assures everyone around him that it allows him to have sex "even with ugly chicks." YMMV.
posted by klangklangston at 4:21 PM on May 24, 2006

Also, if you have any useful advice for the female partner, I'm all ears.

Take one of his viagra too! I've taken viagra recreationally with female partners, and it had very interesting effects, and I've heard from other female friends that they've enjoyed using it too. (Reports suggest it increases blood flow to the clitoris.)

Sorry, probably not a very good answer given the standard advice on not using other peoples' prescribed medication.
posted by jack_mo at 4:41 PM on May 24, 2006

Viagra is a vasodilator. Its effect is to relax a sphincter valve that ordinarily prevents blood flow to the penis. This valve has a default setting of "closed" when a man is conscious; arousal (or unconsciouness) basically releases the latch and lets the door swing open. Viagra also triggers the valve to relax, so that an erection is easier to achieve and maintain. It doesn't have any effect on psychological arousal, except in the sense that a guy generally feels more sexy when he's sporting a boner than when he's not.

The rule of, uh, thumb is that if you get a hard-on while you're asleep, then Viagra can probably enchance your erection while awake. If there is an organic or physiological problem that prevents the relaxation of the muscles involved, then probably Viagra is not going to do much.

By the way, it's entirely possible for a man to be highly aroused and even to have an orgasm without an erection. (Gay guys have known this for, well, probably as long as there have been gay guys.)
posted by La Cieca at 5:36 PM on May 24, 2006

AmbroseChapel writes "(Also I don't think anyone actually takes Viagra any more, it's pretty much been replaced by Cialis, but 'Viagra' is like 'hoover', 'biro' and 'xerox', it's come to be a generic term.)"

They are still advertising the heck out of Viagra here in Canada, someone must be taking it.
posted by Mitheral at 5:36 PM on May 24, 2006

Arousal regarding non erection leads to the famous line:

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak
posted by edgeways at 6:46 PM on May 24, 2006

I use it.

How 'spontaneous' do you want to be? In my experience, the effect starts way sooner than one hour. More like 20-30 mins. If I think sex is on its way, I have plenty of time to quietly take a pill. There doesn't have to be any big mood-breaking issue with it, as long as you have it at hand. It's tiny, easy to travel with in a bottle, or just a pill wrapped in foil.

I don't use it every time. I don't have any big ED problem other than getting older and less horny. It works wonders, wonders, wonders for me.

Only small downside is my face feels flushed, and my nose gets a little stuffy. In my experience, it lasts in its main heavy effect for 5 or so hours, but residual, pleasant after effects go on for maybe 12 hours or so.

Not a miracle drug, but a near-miracle drug, IMHO.
posted by jeff-o-matic at 7:26 PM on May 24, 2006

I took it a few years ago when I was on a prednisone (cortico-steroid) treatment for a lymphoproliferative disorder.

I found it worked great in enhancing an erection and also helped if my partner and I wanted sex again 30 minutes later.

The only side effect was a splitting headache the next morning, which is not pleasant but certainly tolerable.

I also found that it actually caused my penis to get larger and erections lasted longer.
posted by camworld at 8:15 PM on May 24, 2006

Viagra has a pretty short half-life as far as ED drugs go, so is only really effective taken on demand. Levitra still shows effects after 12+ hours, and Cialis 36+ hours, so some people actually take a daily or every-other-day Levitra or Cialis, respectively, and this can solve the spontaneity problem.

ED drugs make it easier to produce and maintain an erection, whether your dysfunction is mental or physical. FYI, If you get "morning wood" without drugs, you're probably fine physically.
posted by trevyn at 9:16 PM on May 24, 2006

My mom just retired from having set up shop as a nurse dealing with ED so I've read a lot of the literature (that's my story and I'm sticking to it :-)

Most of the above is largely correct. However many men of various ages can suffer from venous leakage - in which damaged veins leaking result in the man's inability to maintain rather than achieve an erection, though achievement is also problematic in extreme cases.

It's hugely common because it's caused by all the things that lead to circulatory damage (cigarettes, alcohol-induced chemicals, pot, blood sugar, LDL cholesterol, medication drugs and street drugs says the webpage I linked to).

I point this out, because it means that trevyn is wrong in his 'morning wood' test (sorry, t, no offense)

If this is a post-surgical complication that will respond well to pharmaceuticals the situation is likely to be similar - though you might want to clarify with your doctor exactly what the cause of the dysfunction is likely to be. That'd be my guess, though. (Note: I am not a medical professional though I do play the cute blond doctor lady on House)

Everybody else has answered the arousal/erection part of the question (in short: fret not) - but I should point out that this will be a hell of a time for your guy. Be as assuring as humanly possible - he's losing part of his connection to the toy he's loved ever since he gave up his Teddy Bear. And don't be surprised if, once the reality hits home, there's some distancing on his part. It'll take a lot for him to really get his head round it. Physical ED is a full-fledged disability, and one tied innately (via social expections largely, and unfortunately) to one's sense of self, masculinity and self-esteem.

Also, thank whatever god you believe in that it is medically treatable by pill these days. Before viagra there were injections, which pretty much would have nipped spontanaity in the bud.

One practical thing you can do is start thinking about non-penetrative practices if you find yourself pill-less and horny. This can actually be a pleasant side effect. Some partners have reported greater overall satisfaction once the 'main event' was separated from the old in-out. By the sounds of it he will still be able to climax and you and he can have hours of fun figuring out new ways to bring each other to completion.
posted by Sparx at 11:23 PM on May 24, 2006