How to not be a 5 hump chump?

October 28, 2009 11:22 AM

Questions about male sexual stamina and use of viagra. NSFW more than likely.

I am a mid 30s male who still lasts about as long as a teenager in bed. I'm really hoping to change this, but not sure how to go much longer.

I have had a friend recommend that I visit my doctor and look into getting Viagra, but I have no problems getting or maintaining an erection, just problems finishing too soon. Would viagra help this?

I know when I'm starting to get close but once I get close there seems like nothing I can do to back away from it...any suggestions would be appreciated.

posted by anonymous to health & fitness (17 comments total)

I've never heard of Viagra working for delaying ejaculation.

If you know when you're starting to get close, does stopping all action entirely keep you from completion? I would suggest practicing on your own, getting to the point where you feel you're "starting to get close," and backing away from it. You can figure out your own rhythms.

If that doesn't work, then change what you're doing before you get close. Move from intercourse to oral to cuddling & stimulating your partner digitally, etc., until you feel far, far away from completion again, then get back to it.
posted by xingcat at 11:28 AM on October 28

I've heard that sometimes prozac and similar medication is prescribed for this.
posted by jouke at 11:30 AM on October 28 [1 favorite]

There are masturbation exercises that you can do to learn about your point of no return and manage yourself to keep away from it. Mostly it comes down to practice. Find some time and see how long you can last, by yourself. It's a good excuse to spend extended chunks of time in the activity. You can also do kegel exercises, e.g. when you're peeing practice starting and stopping over and over again.

That said, Viagra can help, too. It's hard to describe exactly, but the extra push it gives to erections can make it easier for you to step back from the brink, so to speak, and relax, without losing your erection. To the extent your erections depend on always pushing forward with the highest state arousal possible, Viagra could help.

On the other hand, Viagra has side effects: headaches, stuffy nose, etc. So I'd try the chemical-free route first. More fun, too.
posted by alms at 11:31 AM on October 28

Try marijuana. Seriously, it does wonders in the stamina department for most men, if you can handle the other effects.
posted by jameslavelle3 at 12:09 PM on October 28 [1 favorite]

Yes, SSRIs like Prozac will slow things down, but they are incredibly potent drugs with many other effects and side effects. No drug in this class is yet approved by the FDA for delaying orgasm. I would stick with the exercises. Also, how about the tried and true young man's strategy of round II?
posted by caddis at 12:12 PM on October 28

Things I never thought I'd be telling strangers...

While I don't have a great deal of experience, I once took some recreational Cialis. Partly out of curiosity, and partly because I had, *ahem* quite the weekend plans. I'll be avoiding it in the future because it did, indeed, retard my orgasm response. Since I have a tendency to last longer than is fun for either myself or my partner, this was definitely not a good thing in my view. I don't have enough experience to determine if it always acts this way, or even if everyone has a similar experience. But for me, the delay in orgasm was more substantial that what I experience when wearing a condom. Although condoms seem to slow ascent to orgasm by reducing how good sex feels. In the case of Cialis, it's more that the drug seems to change the way I react to the pleasurable sensations. They still feel just as pleasurable... but pleasure excites me less that it normally would. If that makes any sense at all. Anyway, it may be worth a try. The side effects were present, but were only a mild annoyance.
posted by centerweight at 12:13 PM on October 28

I've never heard of viagra being used in this capacity. It's true that SSRI's and the like have this side effect...but I don't really think anti-depressants should be used solely to treat a too-speedy ejaculation. Now, if you are also depressed, well, then you're in luck. Two birds with one stone, so to speak.

But in all seriousness, just try masturbating more frequently, and the marijuana recommendation is also noteworthy, as I know this has worked for many people (also having sex stoned is just mad fun times).
posted by Lutoslawski at 12:30 PM on October 28

I am a male in his early 20's. I've tried both cialis and viagra recreationally and found that they retard my ejaculation by a large amount. Sometimes, I don't feel it is necessary to orgasm at all. I suffered from the opposite of your condition (anorgasmia) before that I had to train myself to fix. I went from never to about 20-40 minutes. Thus, the ED drugs pushes it from 2 hours to not being able to at all.
posted by just.good.enough at 12:55 PM on October 28

You can choose to treat this problem pharmaceutically, in which case by all means ask a doctor, there's no harm in that. Be aware, though, of what you're pumping into your body for the sake of a non-health-threatening issue, and its side effects.

Or, you can choose to treat it behaviorally. Do you have this problem when masturbating? Have you considered your approach to sex? Do you tend to go at it like a jackrabbit until you come? Try slower techniques. Go down on her first. I promise you that the side effects from these solutions are way better.
posted by mkultra at 1:05 PM on October 28

I agree with alms and mkultura. With time and effort you can train yourself to go longer.
posted by MillMan at 1:25 PM on October 28

also consider talking this over with your partner. is your partner satisfied with whats going on? are you wanting to prolong your own pleasure or your partner's? what kinds of activity can you do after you ejaculate that are fun for you both? i find it helpful for myself to worry less about when i come and more about how much me and my partner are enjoying things. there are many different kinds of sex; not all of them require an erection.
posted by cubby at 3:02 PM on October 28

Seconding the training stuff. It works.
posted by krilli at 5:47 PM on October 28

Disrecommending prozac, the side effects are much much worse than where you're at now.
posted by Locobot at 11:56 PM on October 28

Any chance somebody could provide a link for "the training stuff" ?
posted by Irontom at 3:32 AM on October 29

Here you go.
posted by alms at 7:04 AM on October 29

Oh, god, what I wouldn't give to have this problem! When you get older and can't come, then you'll be wishing for the good old days!

But yes, in my experience Viagra lengthens ejaculation time because it decreases sensitivity. But why do you want to delay it? If you're like a teenager just wait 10 minutes and do it again! Too much friction caused by extended intercourse wears out the nerve endings quicker. A woman's lubrication doesn't last all that long, even if she is properly aroused, which I'm assuming you're taking care of. The point is to experience pleasure, not have an endurance contest.
posted by Pistol at 9:31 AM on October 29

So, you get off easy. Okay, so, stop worrying about getting you off. Focus on your partner. Get your partner to the brink (or over) before you deal with your own specifics. By "focus", I mean you taking a huge pleasure in pleasuring your partner. If you make your partner well satisfied, you'll both feel good, and then you'll get off without guilt, regardless how quick that works out.
posted by Goofyy at 10:11 AM on October 29