Sacrifice friendship, or endure constant pain?
May 15, 2006 7:56 AM Subscribe
Should I (male) stay friends with someone (female) who I love uncontrollably when there is no reciprocation? Messy story and a lot
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (42 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
I professed my love to an extremely close friend about 6 months ago. She is/was my closest friend. I was rejected and she decided to cut off all communication until about a month ago (she felt betrayed). In the meantime, I was hurt deeply, yet managed to move on after a healthy period of mourning (couple of weeks). This past weekend, we met up and spent the entire weekend together which was essentially the first meaningful contact we've had since I spilled my guts.
It was immediately clear why we had been such great friends in the first place (we share similar world views / make each other laugh / have similar baggage/ like the same music / enjoy the same activities / communicate well / work through our differences in opinion). It is uncanny and nearly twilight-zone material. I really miss and appreciate the priceless connection that we share (which in hindsight, I had been taking for granted since day 1). But it was also immediately clear that my feelings for her could easily be surfaced despite any wall of logic that I could use as potential defense.
My questions are listed in order of importance below:
1.How does profession of love = betrayal (from her point of view)?
2.Should I cut off contact permanently (and will this feel liberating or just plain shitty)?
3.Is this really a lose-lose situation? On one hand I lose a best friend, on the other, I just endure daily agony by lying to myself and her. Am I missing a bright side?
4.Any other pieces of advice?