Should I be upset over my girlfriend's relationship with her male friend?
April 3, 2011 5:13 PM Subscribe
Am I just being oversensitive? My girlfriend shares an apt with her cousin (male) whom she calls her best friend. I feel like the relationship is kind of creepy and closer than any best friend situation I've ever seen. He calls her 3-4 times a day, just to check in. She waits until late night to eat dinner with him even though she gets home at 5. They do everything together.
posted by antipode12 to human relations (68 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
Until recently (first 2 months), she couldn't tell him about me because he's very codependent and he would get jealous. I'm not allowed to come over if he's there, and I can not stay over (I live an hour away). In fact, I've never met him.
She finally told him about me, and he says he's fine with it.
But their history is odd: he would fight with her if he didn't get to spend time with her and if she had other friends; he tried to hurt himself in front of her because he was depressed about their relationship; he didn't speak to her for weeks because I went on vacation with her instead of him (they have vacationed previously, but his schedule did not allow it this time).
In the distant past (previous years), they had helped each other through difficult breakups and personal troubles. She admits he is co-dependent but won't push him to do anything about it. She has toyed with the idea of getting her own apartment, but hasn't decided.
In the meantime, my schedule with her is often determined by what she has to do with him, when they eat, etc. I have to be quiet when she speaks to him on the phone, for fear that he'll know I'm around.
I know there are two sides to every story, and I know their past connections and bonding make them very close. But this has really been bothering me.
Maybe it's me.