Respite care for elderly relative with dementia on short notice

June 29, 2024 7:11 AM

My elderly relative with demential spends most of her time in her home with her caregivers. We’ll be providing a few weeks of respite care in our home. I’ve been a caretaker for elderly relatives with dementia before, and I’ve assisted in the care of this relative, but she hasn’t been to our home in years. Help me to make this as smooth as possible.

My elderly relative with dementia is typically cared for in their home by two other family members. Last night, I learned that one of those family members has a medical procedure scheduled for Monday with a recovery time of a few weeks. We’ll be caring for my elderly relative in our home during the recovery time.

My family and I have some experience in caring for people with dementia: We have assisted in the care of this relative. We have previously cared for another elderly relative with dementia in our home for an extended time. I grew up caring for an elderly relative with dementia. However, we have not done full-day/full-night care with this relative, and she has not been to our home in years. I’m concerned that being away from home will exacerbate her confusion.

We are working on preparing a place in our home for her, making the house safe for her, and picking up supplies. I’m also compiling a list of questions for her primary caregivers about a typical day’s structure, her diet, her medical needs, her medications/pharmacy info, her doctors/the doctors’ contact info, her medical insurance/insurance card(s) . . .

I’d be grateful for any recommendations about what else I might want to do to prepare, about what I should be aware of when providing respite care vs. being the primary caregiver, or about this situation in particular.

posted by TEA to Health & Fitness (4 answers total)

Is it a one-story or two-story home? If it is a two-story home with a bathroom on the first floor, can you set up a bedroom on the first floor, to prevent wandering down unfamiliar stairs at night?

If the relatives bedroom is going to be on the second floor, consider installing motion detecting hallway lights - it will illuminate an unfamiliar hallway and if your bedroom door is open, possibly alert you to their movements. Keeping a night light on in the bathroom might also be handy. Avoid baby gates or similar devices - they are serious fall hazards if you relative tries to open an unfamiliar device at the top of the stairs.

In terms of paperwork: get copies of Living Wills , powers of attorney, or medical powers of attorney if they exist. And see if you can be added to the medical POA, or get a notarized statement that you are the current POA's designee if you will be in a position to possibly have to make emergency medical decisions for your relative, such as a fall or stroke.

There are also really nice baby monitors available that send both video and audio.
posted by Silvery Fish at 7:26 AM on June 29

I'd be sure to ask if she has anything (physical objects or media – TV shows, music) that serves as a comfort object if she becomes distraught, for example, a favourite TV show that you can put on as a distraction if she is sundowning, or a fidget mat or similar in case she has some nervous energy to expend. Having familiar sounds/sights/objects around can be a big comfort.
posted by notquitejane at 8:59 AM on June 29

Since this is an extended period of time, I’d make sure she has a card or note in her purse/wallet/jacket pocket with your address and phone number. If she will agree to wear or already wears a medical bracelet with emergency contact info, I’d add/switch it for one with your info for now (you can get them from Amazon pretty quickly). Being in an unfamiliar place, she’s more likely to get lost or to wander from your place. I’d also recommend calling the Alzheimer’s Association for tips if you’re in the US, or your equivalent Alzheimer’s or dementia society elsewhere. Good luck, thank you for doing this wonderful service for your relative and her primary caregivers!
posted by assenav at 11:26 AM on June 29 [1 favorite]

Came here to recommend the Alzheimer’s Association - they are incredibly helpful.
posted by bunderful at 6:21 PM on June 30