How to Clearly, Effectively, & Kindly Cut off Contact
December 12, 2023 3:13 AM Subscribe
I previously engaged in casual intimacy, remained in unhealthy friendships, and overall hesitated to enforce my own boundaries with people. This was most likely out of fear of not being liked, or that people would stop including me or wanting to be around me. I've been doing crucial inner work for about 1.5 years, and am now in a place where I neither want, nor have space for, these people in my life anymore. How do I cut off contact with them if they reach out?
I was going through a rough patch in life since mid-January of 2022, shortly after having COVID. After ending a long-term relationship, I finally started facing my own inner issues and began doing the crucial work on myself. While I'm in a much healthier place now, during the healing process I engaged in casual physical intimacy with people, and also maintained unhealthy friendships out of fear of my boundary enforcement seeming like me judging others.
I've done the work, and am still doing so each day. A switch flipped in my brain a few months ago, particularly in regards to casual sex. I have zero interest in doing this ever again, and now understand healthy and secure ways to pursue a relationship in the future. Having said this, some of the men that I engaged with have reached out to me since I've made this positive change, mostly just to see how I'm doing. They've mentioned wanting to stay friends, and that me no longer being interested in sex in that capacity doesn't change them wanting to be in my life still. The bottom line is that I don't want them in my life.
One of these men has repeatedly toed the boundary I set with him. I'd told him (months ago) that we could only remain friends if sex stayed out of our conversations. Since then he's attempted persuade me out of my boundaries. I've stood my ground, however, and didn't oblige this behavior. He took a trip to another country a few months ago, and was telling me about how fun it was. Then he randomly said that he had a sexual dream that involved me and how skilled I was. At that point, I told him his behavior was making me uncomfortable, and that I'd already been explicitly clear about my boundary. He apologized and returned to the normal conversation about his trip. I responded shortly to anything else he had to say. He hasn't contacted me since.
I don't want to keep in contact with him any longer, nor any of these other men. It's this volatility that I just don't know or can't trust when they'll say something suggestive. I don't want any form of entanglement with another person hindering a future relationship. I'm just not sure how to go about cutting off contact with them. Blocking on all platforms seems dramatic, and I'd rather simply tell them in words. While this tendency is almost "worked out" of me, I still seem to think I owe people an explanation sometimes, or like since we've known each other for months, blocking them out of the blue seems wrong.
I don't initiate contact with any of them, but if they were to reach out again, I need to have this response ready. I work best with scripts and planning what to say "just in case". How do you effectively and kindly cut off contact with someone to ensure it's clear that you no longer want them in your life? Would you simply block them?
I was going through a rough patch in life since mid-January of 2022, shortly after having COVID. After ending a long-term relationship, I finally started facing my own inner issues and began doing the crucial work on myself. While I'm in a much healthier place now, during the healing process I engaged in casual physical intimacy with people, and also maintained unhealthy friendships out of fear of my boundary enforcement seeming like me judging others.
I've done the work, and am still doing so each day. A switch flipped in my brain a few months ago, particularly in regards to casual sex. I have zero interest in doing this ever again, and now understand healthy and secure ways to pursue a relationship in the future. Having said this, some of the men that I engaged with have reached out to me since I've made this positive change, mostly just to see how I'm doing. They've mentioned wanting to stay friends, and that me no longer being interested in sex in that capacity doesn't change them wanting to be in my life still. The bottom line is that I don't want them in my life.
One of these men has repeatedly toed the boundary I set with him. I'd told him (months ago) that we could only remain friends if sex stayed out of our conversations. Since then he's attempted persuade me out of my boundaries. I've stood my ground, however, and didn't oblige this behavior. He took a trip to another country a few months ago, and was telling me about how fun it was. Then he randomly said that he had a sexual dream that involved me and how skilled I was. At that point, I told him his behavior was making me uncomfortable, and that I'd already been explicitly clear about my boundary. He apologized and returned to the normal conversation about his trip. I responded shortly to anything else he had to say. He hasn't contacted me since.
I don't want to keep in contact with him any longer, nor any of these other men. It's this volatility that I just don't know or can't trust when they'll say something suggestive. I don't want any form of entanglement with another person hindering a future relationship. I'm just not sure how to go about cutting off contact with them. Blocking on all platforms seems dramatic, and I'd rather simply tell them in words. While this tendency is almost "worked out" of me, I still seem to think I owe people an explanation sometimes, or like since we've known each other for months, blocking them out of the blue seems wrong.
I don't initiate contact with any of them, but if they were to reach out again, I need to have this response ready. I work best with scripts and planning what to say "just in case". How do you effectively and kindly cut off contact with someone to ensure it's clear that you no longer want them in your life? Would you simply block them?
While you can tell people you'd like to end contact, it might be reasonable to consider that that kind of communication is more appropriate when you're wanting to keep a relationship albeit on altered terms.
Contacting someone to say that you are ending contact with someone puts you and the other person in a tricky situation. It seems like an unbalanced, maybe even a performative, gesture, and that is (oddly enough) for many people an irresistable entiement to try to better understand your meaning. They are right to wonder, do I have recourse? Am I expected to reply? Is everything OK? Is this some sort of a coded call for help?
If the end goal is to end contact with someone entirely, the single most effective, unentangled way to do so is to simply do it. Yes, it's rude. Yes it's abrupt. Yes it might not be advised in etiquette manuals. Does that matter to your decision? If not, then end contact and avoid ambiguity. Block socials, block numbers, block emails. If some kind of contact gets through to you, ignore it (unless/until you change your mind, because these decisions don't have to be permanently set in stone to be permanent right now). If you see someone in person, excuse yourself however you feel most comfortable (i.e. sorry I'm in a rush, have a good day) and leave it at that wihtout teasing a catch-up under different circumstances.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 3:44 AM on December 12, 2023 [26 favorites]
Contacting someone to say that you are ending contact with someone puts you and the other person in a tricky situation. It seems like an unbalanced, maybe even a performative, gesture, and that is (oddly enough) for many people an irresistable entiement to try to better understand your meaning. They are right to wonder, do I have recourse? Am I expected to reply? Is everything OK? Is this some sort of a coded call for help?
If the end goal is to end contact with someone entirely, the single most effective, unentangled way to do so is to simply do it. Yes, it's rude. Yes it's abrupt. Yes it might not be advised in etiquette manuals. Does that matter to your decision? If not, then end contact and avoid ambiguity. Block socials, block numbers, block emails. If some kind of contact gets through to you, ignore it (unless/until you change your mind, because these decisions don't have to be permanently set in stone to be permanent right now). If you see someone in person, excuse yourself however you feel most comfortable (i.e. sorry I'm in a rush, have a good day) and leave it at that wihtout teasing a catch-up under different circumstances.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 3:44 AM on December 12, 2023 [26 favorites]
Agree with previous commenters. You can deprogram that inner voice that says "I must be nice, polite, and clear to everyone," and the best way to change that tendency is to practice doing it. Avoid reaching out to people you don't want to be in touch with. Blocking & /or deleting contact info is the best way to achieve this.
To answer your question directly, a script to cut off contact if they reach out to you:
"I know I had expressed an interest in being friends, but I've realized I don't have the capacity for it and need to cut off communication. I wish you the best!"
Then, blockety-block!
And, do not respond again or further explain.
(credit to dating coach Erika Ettin, Instagram @alittllenudge, for wording)
posted by Ardea alba at 3:58 AM on December 12, 2023 [11 favorites]
To answer your question directly, a script to cut off contact if they reach out to you:
"I know I had expressed an interest in being friends, but I've realized I don't have the capacity for it and need to cut off communication. I wish you the best!"
Then, blockety-block!
And, do not respond again or further explain.
(credit to dating coach Erika Ettin, Instagram @alittllenudge, for wording)
posted by Ardea alba at 3:58 AM on December 12, 2023 [11 favorites]
If you really don't want to block the guys who haven't done anything boundary-crossing (yet) but who you don't want in your life anymore, and they reach out, may I recommend saying something along the lines of, "In other circumstances we probably could have been friends [if you think this is remotely true], but honestly we hooked up/hung out/took meth/whatever at a really difficult time in my life that I'd like to put behind me; I wish you all the best but please don't contact me going forward." And then block if they say anything besides, "OK, message received, have a nice life!"
But I think that you can totally just go ahead and block all of them sight unseen. They are unlikely to think, "Oh no, anon is being unbearably cruel and thinks I am a terrible person!" Most of them will, at least semi-correctly, figure, "Oh, anon is embarrassed by what we did/is in a new relationship/whatever and wants to avoid me." The block pretty effectively communicates what you want to get across. It is a truth universally acknowledged that sometimes you want to avoid people you've casually hooked up with.
Even if you don't want to block in general, though, you should definitely block that one specific guy you describe - you don't need to spend time and energy on people who repeatedly test your boundaries! Like, after the first time, or the second time if you're being very generous, you could have said, "Look, it seems like we're after different things here. I think it's better if we don't message each other anymore." And then block!
posted by mskyle at 4:43 AM on December 12, 2023 [7 favorites]
But I think that you can totally just go ahead and block all of them sight unseen. They are unlikely to think, "Oh no, anon is being unbearably cruel and thinks I am a terrible person!" Most of them will, at least semi-correctly, figure, "Oh, anon is embarrassed by what we did/is in a new relationship/whatever and wants to avoid me." The block pretty effectively communicates what you want to get across. It is a truth universally acknowledged that sometimes you want to avoid people you've casually hooked up with.
Even if you don't want to block in general, though, you should definitely block that one specific guy you describe - you don't need to spend time and energy on people who repeatedly test your boundaries! Like, after the first time, or the second time if you're being very generous, you could have said, "Look, it seems like we're after different things here. I think it's better if we don't message each other anymore." And then block!
posted by mskyle at 4:43 AM on December 12, 2023 [7 favorites]
In this circumstance I think that it's fine to communicate "I no longer wish to be in contact with you" by blocking. It's equally as clear as using the words and it prevents arguments.
If you are absolutely set on sending a final message, then "I no longer wish to be in contact with you, because you remind me of a difficult time in my life" is the truth. But then you'd still be best off blocking - the people that will read that and accept it won't try to contact you anyway so won't be offended that you blocked them, and the people who contact you after that need to be pre-emptively blocked.
posted by plonkee at 5:10 AM on December 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
If you are absolutely set on sending a final message, then "I no longer wish to be in contact with you, because you remind me of a difficult time in my life" is the truth. But then you'd still be best off blocking - the people that will read that and accept it won't try to contact you anyway so won't be offended that you blocked them, and the people who contact you after that need to be pre-emptively blocked.
posted by plonkee at 5:10 AM on December 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
In a loose-acquaintance environment like social media, the correct thing to do is just block. Engaging in dialogue about it is inviting debate, and to people who are already documented boundary-pushers that feels like an opportunity to push some more. If you absolutely must, your final message can be, "Nope, I'm out, bye." and then block without waiting for a response.
You don't sound ready to be in Teach A Lesson mode, which is where you cannot fawn and be "kind", you have to call them out. It's possible one or two of every 100 men on the internet have a legitimate impulse control disorder and they DO try to initiate sex talk with their mothers, coworkers, random people on the street, but chances are highly likely they know better and just don't care about your boundaries as much as getting what they want. In that case, actual kindness is providing consequences so they are challenged to do better (with other people, in the future), and it's got nothing to do with being nice.
Nobody is obligated to do this work, and you should only choose to do it when you feel ready to apply consequences and not care what the recipient thinks of you. None of us are in that place all the time, and when we're not, the silent closing of the door is fine and appropriate.
posted by Lyn Never at 5:12 AM on December 12, 2023 [10 favorites]
You don't sound ready to be in Teach A Lesson mode, which is where you cannot fawn and be "kind", you have to call them out. It's possible one or two of every 100 men on the internet have a legitimate impulse control disorder and they DO try to initiate sex talk with their mothers, coworkers, random people on the street, but chances are highly likely they know better and just don't care about your boundaries as much as getting what they want. In that case, actual kindness is providing consequences so they are challenged to do better (with other people, in the future), and it's got nothing to do with being nice.
Nobody is obligated to do this work, and you should only choose to do it when you feel ready to apply consequences and not care what the recipient thinks of you. None of us are in that place all the time, and when we're not, the silent closing of the door is fine and appropriate.
posted by Lyn Never at 5:12 AM on December 12, 2023 [10 favorites]
1. Stop replying to people who have told you about sex dreams after you've warned them not to sex chat with you!!! No, don't do *short" replies. No, don't do your script. Block this person, the end.
1.a. "if they were to reach out again, I need to have this response ready" No you don't! It's way, way more rude to hit people with your script about how you wish to cut them out of your life, than to simply never respond to them at all, block them right now, the end.
2. Stop agreeing to be friends with people you don't actually want to be friends (real actual friends!) with. When they ask to be friends, say, "No, thank you. Be well!" (And then, for *your* sake, block them so that you don't feel tempted to respond to them ever again.)
3. It is almost never appropriate to give people some kind of breakup speech with ~clarity~ and ~reasoning~ and ~firm boundaries ~ etc. when you're cutting them out of your life. The exceptions would be if you're cutting out family members or very close friends or romantic partners who are not imminently dangerous to you. That's it. With everyone else, use tactics 1. and 2.
posted by MiraK at 5:12 AM on December 12, 2023 [23 favorites]
1.a. "if they were to reach out again, I need to have this response ready" No you don't! It's way, way more rude to hit people with your script about how you wish to cut them out of your life, than to simply never respond to them at all, block them right now, the end.
2. Stop agreeing to be friends with people you don't actually want to be friends (real actual friends!) with. When they ask to be friends, say, "No, thank you. Be well!" (And then, for *your* sake, block them so that you don't feel tempted to respond to them ever again.)
3. It is almost never appropriate to give people some kind of breakup speech with ~clarity~ and ~reasoning~ and ~firm boundaries ~ etc. when you're cutting them out of your life. The exceptions would be if you're cutting out family members or very close friends or romantic partners who are not imminently dangerous to you. That's it. With everyone else, use tactics 1. and 2.
posted by MiraK at 5:12 AM on December 12, 2023 [23 favorites]
Part of the reason why people always recommend a block is that habitual boundary-pushers will see any explanation of your needs, what they’re doing wrong, etc. as an opportunity to argue, wheedle, manipulate, or otherwise poke holes in your words. It actually extends the interaction rather than cutting it short. Sometimes that is, consciously or subconsciously, the point; it’s common to fantasize that if you could say exactly the right thing, they would not only fall into line but look into their own souls and feel remorse, maybe apologize, maybe even change. But this basically never happens in real life and there’s no evidence this time will be different. If that’s your goal, well, you can’t have it. If your goal is to not be contacted anymore, though, great news: you can do that without his cooperation, which you will not get.
posted by babelfish at 6:09 AM on December 12, 2023 [14 favorites]
posted by babelfish at 6:09 AM on December 12, 2023 [14 favorites]
Block and move on. I, an Internet stranger, give you full permission to do this. You will have peace of mind and not twist yourself inside out trying to find a way to still please them somehow. Read all the other answers here for more insights, but essentially, blocking is the kindest way, both to you and to them.
posted by gakiko at 6:35 AM on December 12, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by gakiko at 6:35 AM on December 12, 2023 [5 favorites]
It is a truth universally acknowledged that sometimes you want to avoid people you've casually hooked up with.
True.
I agree with everyone suggesting you're overthinking this a bit - you don't owe casual hookups the ability to contact you in perpetuity.
Somewhat tangentially - the language of "boundaries" is great if it helps you get comfortable advocating for yourself! But I've noticed that sometimes the focus on boundaries makes it harder for people to recognize when they are experiencing a personal 1-on-1 problem vs. a more systemic problem, and I see that here with the one guy you give as an example. What I mean is, the problem with that guy isn't just that he disrespected your personal boundaries, but that he revealed himself to be the sort of guy who doesn't take women's autonomy seriously - with guys like that, if you feel safe doing so, you should totally feel free to call them out on their misogyny and then block them. Not because it will immediately change them, but some guys, if they are called out enough, will eventually be inspired to self-reflect/change.
posted by coffeecat at 7:04 AM on December 12, 2023 [5 favorites]
True.
I agree with everyone suggesting you're overthinking this a bit - you don't owe casual hookups the ability to contact you in perpetuity.
Somewhat tangentially - the language of "boundaries" is great if it helps you get comfortable advocating for yourself! But I've noticed that sometimes the focus on boundaries makes it harder for people to recognize when they are experiencing a personal 1-on-1 problem vs. a more systemic problem, and I see that here with the one guy you give as an example. What I mean is, the problem with that guy isn't just that he disrespected your personal boundaries, but that he revealed himself to be the sort of guy who doesn't take women's autonomy seriously - with guys like that, if you feel safe doing so, you should totally feel free to call them out on their misogyny and then block them. Not because it will immediately change them, but some guys, if they are called out enough, will eventually be inspired to self-reflect/change.
posted by coffeecat at 7:04 AM on December 12, 2023 [5 favorites]
This guy ignored your boundaries several times. Trust me, he'll keep doing it if you continue to engage with him at all. Don't feel guilty about blocking someone who ignores your boundaries.
posted by bearette at 7:37 AM on December 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by bearette at 7:37 AM on December 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
Hi, I've... been these guys, by which I mean: I have engaged in low-stakes, strings-free casual sex with women, and then maintained contact afterwards. Sometimes we have in fact maintained long-term friendships, and that's fine. But also a lot of the time they just ghosted me, and I took the hint; in one case I did not take the hint and I was definitely blocked. I did not love that this happened; I also got over it because I am a functional adult. And if I struggled, that was my problem at not at all that of the woman moving on from me. I was fine. I am fine.
What I'm getting at is, blocking - with or without a message saying you're doing so - is a totally legitimate and appropriate reaction and, inasmuch as this matters, it's also really common. Please feel free to block and take a deep breath and move on with your life; you are not committing a cruelty to him by blocking him in this context.
posted by Tomorrowful at 7:40 AM on December 12, 2023 [8 favorites]
What I'm getting at is, blocking - with or without a message saying you're doing so - is a totally legitimate and appropriate reaction and, inasmuch as this matters, it's also really common. Please feel free to block and take a deep breath and move on with your life; you are not committing a cruelty to him by blocking him in this context.
posted by Tomorrowful at 7:40 AM on December 12, 2023 [8 favorites]
Boundaries are not what you talk about. They are what you do. In this case, there’s no relationships (outside of the past casual sex ones) to preserve. Just block and move on.
posted by warriorqueen at 8:59 AM on December 12, 2023 [11 favorites]
posted by warriorqueen at 8:59 AM on December 12, 2023 [11 favorites]
I'm going to go against the grain a little and say it is the kind thing to do to let them know what's up, because men have feelings too. (I feel like if the OP were sleeping with multiple female partners and planning on cold blocking them, mefi would be aghast). Treat people the way you want to be treated and all that.
I think that mskyle's script ("In other circumstances we probably could have been friends, but honestly we hooked up at a really difficult time in my life that I'd like to put behind me; I wish you all the best but please don't contact me going forward") is kind enough and also sets a clear boundary. Once someone crosses that boundary (sex dream guy) then block with joy.
posted by greta simone at 10:06 AM on December 12, 2023 [9 favorites]
I think that mskyle's script ("In other circumstances we probably could have been friends, but honestly we hooked up at a really difficult time in my life that I'd like to put behind me; I wish you all the best but please don't contact me going forward") is kind enough and also sets a clear boundary. Once someone crosses that boundary (sex dream guy) then block with joy.
posted by greta simone at 10:06 AM on December 12, 2023 [9 favorites]
Warriorqueen is on the money here. There is no magic set of words you can say to someone to control their actions (make them stop contacting you). The only effective way to set boundaries is to set them with and for yourself.
You can send these folks a final message or not, depending on the circumstances, but that is about your personal view of how relationships should work. It isn't the least bit relevant to your need to be effective at ending contact. Your script is not going to make them stop messaging you. And that's fine! If you can respect your own boundaries, you problem is solved.
posted by MiraK at 10:20 AM on December 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
You can send these folks a final message or not, depending on the circumstances, but that is about your personal view of how relationships should work. It isn't the least bit relevant to your need to be effective at ending contact. Your script is not going to make them stop messaging you. And that's fine! If you can respect your own boundaries, you problem is solved.
posted by MiraK at 10:20 AM on December 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
100% block on all platforms and communication modalities. This is the only thing that really works.
You don't owe these people anything in particular, and the best thing you can do is block them. This not only will prevent them from contacting you, but more importantly will remove any potential temptation for you to contact them. It's not uncommon for people in your situation eventually to relapse into unwanted behaviors as a result of wanting to be "nice" to the people with whom they previously had engaged in those behaviors -- especially those among them who are boundary-pushers, some of whom may keep on coming back every so often to make another try for years.
Moreover, it's not like these are people with whom you have had any meaningful friendship history. If you just disappear, they'll simply move on with their lives. What's the worst thing that could happen from ghosting them? Maybe you run into one of them or one of them contacts you via some avenue you hadn't blocked and says, "Hey, what happened to you? You just, like, disappeared." This gives you the opportunity to respond, "I was doing things that weren't healthy for what I want for my life, and I needed to make a clean break from the people I'd been doing those things with. I didn't have the bandwidth to write a whole bunch of 'goodbye' emails." Those that are the least bit cool will understand and stay away; those that aren't and don't . . . tell them to get bent and block more effectively.
posted by slkinsey at 10:30 AM on December 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
You don't owe these people anything in particular, and the best thing you can do is block them. This not only will prevent them from contacting you, but more importantly will remove any potential temptation for you to contact them. It's not uncommon for people in your situation eventually to relapse into unwanted behaviors as a result of wanting to be "nice" to the people with whom they previously had engaged in those behaviors -- especially those among them who are boundary-pushers, some of whom may keep on coming back every so often to make another try for years.
Moreover, it's not like these are people with whom you have had any meaningful friendship history. If you just disappear, they'll simply move on with their lives. What's the worst thing that could happen from ghosting them? Maybe you run into one of them or one of them contacts you via some avenue you hadn't blocked and says, "Hey, what happened to you? You just, like, disappeared." This gives you the opportunity to respond, "I was doing things that weren't healthy for what I want for my life, and I needed to make a clean break from the people I'd been doing those things with. I didn't have the bandwidth to write a whole bunch of 'goodbye' emails." Those that are the least bit cool will understand and stay away; those that aren't and don't . . . tell them to get bent and block more effectively.
posted by slkinsey at 10:30 AM on December 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
Part of the reason why people always recommend a block is that habitual boundary-pushers will see any explanation of your needs, what they’re doing wrong, etc. as an opportunity to argue, wheedle, manipulate, or otherwise poke holes in your words. It actually extends the interaction rather than cutting it short.
THIS. And this:
the problem with that guy isn't just that he disrespected your personal boundaries, but that he revealed himself to be the sort of guy who doesn't take women's autonomy seriously
Those guys live by, "60% of the time, it works every time" so they will never stop trying.
#teamBLOCK
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 12:28 PM on December 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
THIS. And this:
the problem with that guy isn't just that he disrespected your personal boundaries, but that he revealed himself to be the sort of guy who doesn't take women's autonomy seriously
Those guys live by, "60% of the time, it works every time" so they will never stop trying.
#teamBLOCK
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 12:28 PM on December 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
First response was best.
I feel like most of these answers address the question and not you. You were a floating person and have now discovered yourself and through therapy have found yourself and are beginning to assert it.
Great for you. All of the people you don’t want in your life, just block and/or ghost. No kindness, no message, no explanation is necessary. You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone you don’t want in your life. It’s totally fine and not weird to do this.
The only people you need to communicate your new person to are people you DO, or potentially DO want in your life. And anyone that resists it can join the list above.
People will love and accept and be intimate with you and your new boundaries, it’ll be great. Fork anyone that questions them for now.
posted by ixipkcams at 10:56 PM on December 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
I feel like most of these answers address the question and not you. You were a floating person and have now discovered yourself and through therapy have found yourself and are beginning to assert it.
Great for you. All of the people you don’t want in your life, just block and/or ghost. No kindness, no message, no explanation is necessary. You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone you don’t want in your life. It’s totally fine and not weird to do this.
The only people you need to communicate your new person to are people you DO, or potentially DO want in your life. And anyone that resists it can join the list above.
People will love and accept and be intimate with you and your new boundaries, it’ll be great. Fork anyone that questions them for now.
posted by ixipkcams at 10:56 PM on December 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
Blocking feels a bit dramatic to me. Saying “hey, I’m moving on” followed by complete silence (no responses ever) seems sufficient.
If they hang on too tight then firmer methods are called for.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:22 AM on December 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
If they hang on too tight then firmer methods are called for.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:22 AM on December 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
« Older You're a librarian. I'm an author. What next? | Houseplants that can survive 34-50F winter temps Newer »
You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments
They will only know you blocked them if they try to contact you anyhow. This isn't a situation where you need to manage other people's feelings. Block-spree ensue! Should any common friends say "bob thought it was weird you blocked him" you just say "new year new me".
posted by Iteki at 3:29 AM on December 12, 2023 [44 favorites]