Having an existential crisis and I'm about to make it everyone's problem
August 8, 2022 9:13 AM Subscribe
I *love* writing to Metafilter in the throes of an existential crisis. This time, it is mostly about being broke and sad.
So, if you look at my previous questions, you will see a fairly unhappy person with many deep-rooted problems. I have worked on some of those problems, but tl;dr it doesn't feel like anything will ever fundamentally change and all of the good things in life will remain just slightly out of my reach. (Yes, I am depressed, yes I am medicated, yes I am looking for a therapist right now because my old one moved out of state.)
I switched careers and I'm now working as an EMT, which is much better than my old job as a poorly-paid office drone. But it's still hard, the hours are long, and the pay is still, also, abysmal. Very briefly I thought I might have a solution to this in the form of going back to school for either nursing or PA. Then I tried a class and had to drop out because, as it turns out, math and science are still hard for me (I am decidedly right-brained) and I could not keep up with the workload.
I'm so tired of being poor. Like, I cannot stress enough how much ramen I have eaten in the last year while I was paying for EMT school. I want to buy a house. I want to be able to travel. Just checked my credit score and it's worse than I thought and I am on the verge of tears.
I'm just.... everything is so hard? There seems to be no end in sight, no threshold I can cross where I get to just stop worrying for a little while. I have talked to family and friends and they all think I am lonely and need to get out more. They are probably right but my desire for human contact has never been so low. I want money, damn it, that's all I care about right now. Other people, with all their needs and problems and moods, just stress me out.
I did get a brief bump to my savings account when I finished EMT school and got a raise but it still feels useless.
Please tell me how you got out of a similar rut or what you did to survive being broke and depressed. My life feels pretty bleak, I've been through a stupid amount of trauma, and I can't get a therapist to call me back. Thank you
So, if you look at my previous questions, you will see a fairly unhappy person with many deep-rooted problems. I have worked on some of those problems, but tl;dr it doesn't feel like anything will ever fundamentally change and all of the good things in life will remain just slightly out of my reach. (Yes, I am depressed, yes I am medicated, yes I am looking for a therapist right now because my old one moved out of state.)
I switched careers and I'm now working as an EMT, which is much better than my old job as a poorly-paid office drone. But it's still hard, the hours are long, and the pay is still, also, abysmal. Very briefly I thought I might have a solution to this in the form of going back to school for either nursing or PA. Then I tried a class and had to drop out because, as it turns out, math and science are still hard for me (I am decidedly right-brained) and I could not keep up with the workload.
I'm so tired of being poor. Like, I cannot stress enough how much ramen I have eaten in the last year while I was paying for EMT school. I want to buy a house. I want to be able to travel. Just checked my credit score and it's worse than I thought and I am on the verge of tears.
I'm just.... everything is so hard? There seems to be no end in sight, no threshold I can cross where I get to just stop worrying for a little while. I have talked to family and friends and they all think I am lonely and need to get out more. They are probably right but my desire for human contact has never been so low. I want money, damn it, that's all I care about right now. Other people, with all their needs and problems and moods, just stress me out.
I did get a brief bump to my savings account when I finished EMT school and got a raise but it still feels useless.
Please tell me how you got out of a similar rut or what you did to survive being broke and depressed. My life feels pretty bleak, I've been through a stupid amount of trauma, and I can't get a therapist to call me back. Thank you
If the cost of food is part of the problem, are you eligible for food stamps?
Are there food banks in your area that can help you out?
posted by carriage pulled by cassowaries at 9:27 AM on August 8, 2022 [4 favorites]
Are there food banks in your area that can help you out?
posted by carriage pulled by cassowaries at 9:27 AM on August 8, 2022 [4 favorites]
Once youre in a better mindset, can you train to become an ultrasound technician or other type of imaging technician? Fixed hours, less educational requirements than nurse or p.a., and a good salary I think.
posted by jello at 9:31 AM on August 8, 2022 [13 favorites]
posted by jello at 9:31 AM on August 8, 2022 [13 favorites]
On the getting through today front, I like this tool for helping you make very basic decisions about taking care of yourself. I'm always kind of mad when this stuff helps but meeting some of those basic needs can help the bigger picture feel less overwhelming, even if it doesn't solve the bigger picture.
posted by earth by april at 9:40 AM on August 8, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by earth by april at 9:40 AM on August 8, 2022 [7 favorites]
This is hard. The only way to have more money is to (1) make more money or (2) save more money (and also (3) invest if you have the extra money).
If you have a car.. can you try one of those things where you put vinyl ads on your car and get paid by the ad companies? Is your car insurance the lowest it can be, or could you shop around for better rates?
Speaking of rates, are your recurring monthly costs as low as they can be? We lowered our internet speed and now pay $20 per month instead of 65, and haven't noticed any difference in our internet use or streaming. Our cell phone provider is Ting instead of the more expensive Verizon. We only have a couple of streaming services, etc.
If you don't have dietary restrictions, get yourself a free lasagna from Lasanga Love, you deserve it. Check local food pantries or hunger-free groups. No shame in that! Our town gives out huge boxes of food a few times a month and there is always a ton! Some of these groups I've found on Facebook, so make a profile and join some local groups. Also join some local "buy nothing" groups and don't be ashamed to get stuff you might need for free if it's available. It's ok if you have nothing to contribute at this time, you will later in life.
Do you feel like your grocery shopping is as efficient as can be? Can you make quick cooking decisions if you see something on sale? Do you know what is a good price vs a not so great price at the grocery store?
As for the long term... once you're in a better state of mind, look for the next step in your career where you would be able to use your EMT experience (medical care, quick decision making skills, leadership skills, working under extreme pressure, etc).
posted by never.was.and.never.will.be. at 9:43 AM on August 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
If you have a car.. can you try one of those things where you put vinyl ads on your car and get paid by the ad companies? Is your car insurance the lowest it can be, or could you shop around for better rates?
Speaking of rates, are your recurring monthly costs as low as they can be? We lowered our internet speed and now pay $20 per month instead of 65, and haven't noticed any difference in our internet use or streaming. Our cell phone provider is Ting instead of the more expensive Verizon. We only have a couple of streaming services, etc.
If you don't have dietary restrictions, get yourself a free lasagna from Lasanga Love, you deserve it. Check local food pantries or hunger-free groups. No shame in that! Our town gives out huge boxes of food a few times a month and there is always a ton! Some of these groups I've found on Facebook, so make a profile and join some local groups. Also join some local "buy nothing" groups and don't be ashamed to get stuff you might need for free if it's available. It's ok if you have nothing to contribute at this time, you will later in life.
Do you feel like your grocery shopping is as efficient as can be? Can you make quick cooking decisions if you see something on sale? Do you know what is a good price vs a not so great price at the grocery store?
As for the long term... once you're in a better state of mind, look for the next step in your career where you would be able to use your EMT experience (medical care, quick decision making skills, leadership skills, working under extreme pressure, etc).
posted by never.was.and.never.will.be. at 9:43 AM on August 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
How about a similar fellow with similar misery? I'm over 50, single, almost broke, and unemployed or underemployed for years. I am highly trained in tech, but I also live in SF, and there are way too many techies around, many of them with more specialized experience and knowledge than I do, and I no longer have a car so I can't commute 1 hour each way to a job. And let's just say, I've been applying for jobs for years. Either "we are not moving forward with your application" or they said they are interested, I call back, leave a message, and never heard from them again.
On the other hand, I found a part-time job that pays well with tips, and I live at home so it's technically free. The problem is part-time job is only a few hours per week, so it doesn't exactly pay all the bills, and let's just say, I was on deficit spending for a while, as I actually took out a loan in 2020 (just before COVID) to take a bootcamp. That didn't exactly help me find work either, but that's probably on me.
So I am in debt (negative worth), single, live in a room, in very expensive San Francisco, and can't find a job. Depressing, right?
I try not to let all that affect me. I keep track of my part-time jobs and and if they have requests, I am almost always available. I apply to jobs when I can, but I shrug off the non-responses, as I no longer really care if I get a job or not. I enjoy my part-time work, and I I keep busy by taking free or very cheap online classes, and keep looking, but I know I may not ever get back into tech. I am barely breaking even, but I am not starving, and there's a roof over my head.
You can say I am just... distracting myself, but it's more about reframing my view of my future.
posted by kschang at 9:46 AM on August 8, 2022 [13 favorites]
On the other hand, I found a part-time job that pays well with tips, and I live at home so it's technically free. The problem is part-time job is only a few hours per week, so it doesn't exactly pay all the bills, and let's just say, I was on deficit spending for a while, as I actually took out a loan in 2020 (just before COVID) to take a bootcamp. That didn't exactly help me find work either, but that's probably on me.
So I am in debt (negative worth), single, live in a room, in very expensive San Francisco, and can't find a job. Depressing, right?
I try not to let all that affect me. I keep track of my part-time jobs and and if they have requests, I am almost always available. I apply to jobs when I can, but I shrug off the non-responses, as I no longer really care if I get a job or not. I enjoy my part-time work, and I I keep busy by taking free or very cheap online classes, and keep looking, but I know I may not ever get back into tech. I am barely breaking even, but I am not starving, and there's a roof over my head.
You can say I am just... distracting myself, but it's more about reframing my view of my future.
posted by kschang at 9:46 AM on August 8, 2022 [13 favorites]
how you got out of a similar rut or what you did to survive being broke and depressed
Trust me, I know how fucking stupid this sounds, but it's nonetheless true: I got a better paying job. I'm definitely not saying that money will solve all your problems, but making more money will make the problems seem less existential. The problem with being where you are (and I've also been there, I assure you) is that the first step is the most difficult. The second, third, fourth steps and so on are comparatively much easier, not least because they're often the same as the first step, which is to get an even better paying job. You might still have mental health problems when you're making a lot of money (I do), but you can focus on (and pay for) solutions rather than like, wondering how you're going to still exist in a year.
The good news is, Ask Metafilter is filled with threads asking about jobs someone can do with no formal credentials to make a decent living. (And I'm in nearly all of them talking about the insurance industry, which: consider it.) The no-credential thing is important; I might be in the minority, but I find it silly to spend money on a credential when you barely have enough money to survive. And if you go into debt, the increased salary is just going to go to paying off your debt. Instead, find a job in an industry that doesn't require a lot of credentials (again, insurance) and then leverage that experience into a better paying job in that industry. Repeat as necessary.
posted by kevinbelt at 9:51 AM on August 8, 2022 [16 favorites]
Trust me, I know how fucking stupid this sounds, but it's nonetheless true: I got a better paying job. I'm definitely not saying that money will solve all your problems, but making more money will make the problems seem less existential. The problem with being where you are (and I've also been there, I assure you) is that the first step is the most difficult. The second, third, fourth steps and so on are comparatively much easier, not least because they're often the same as the first step, which is to get an even better paying job. You might still have mental health problems when you're making a lot of money (I do), but you can focus on (and pay for) solutions rather than like, wondering how you're going to still exist in a year.
The good news is, Ask Metafilter is filled with threads asking about jobs someone can do with no formal credentials to make a decent living. (And I'm in nearly all of them talking about the insurance industry, which: consider it.) The no-credential thing is important; I might be in the minority, but I find it silly to spend money on a credential when you barely have enough money to survive. And if you go into debt, the increased salary is just going to go to paying off your debt. Instead, find a job in an industry that doesn't require a lot of credentials (again, insurance) and then leverage that experience into a better paying job in that industry. Repeat as necessary.
posted by kevinbelt at 9:51 AM on August 8, 2022 [16 favorites]
I have a friend who is a paramedic, I believe, but maybe an EMT, and he said that periodically FEMA is looking for people short-term and pays gobs of money. He was contemplating going to the southern US during a recent COVID wave but something happened and he didn't go -- you might want to look at opportunities with FEMA and see if they pay better than what you're currently making.
posted by jabes at 9:52 AM on August 8, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by jabes at 9:52 AM on August 8, 2022 [6 favorites]
It just takes a long time, man. And it's hard. I don't know how old you are, but I think some of us older-ish folks were raised to think that our lives wouldn't be as hard; it was going to be The Future, and we were going to do better than our parents, and Computers something something.
Well...the future sucks, turns out, and computers suck, and our lives will be harder than our parents' lives (generationally speaking. My parents were also broke AF most of their lives).
My 20s AND 30s were spent in a state of mostly-brokeness. Right around 38-40, things began a slow turnaround, and then a fast turnaround. Here's how it happened:
My entire 20s were a long stretch of layoff-new job-layoff-new job. I got sick of that cycle and went freelance. It was a risk, but because I had worked in so many places, I had lots of potential clients. All of my friends from my jobs in my 20s hired me for projects in my 30s. They introduced me to other folks at their companies, who also hired me. As such, I had a good long time of "always working." You're in a stable, necessary industry--I bet you will have the same.
After about 10 years I was earning an OK amount. Then, I got a new job--again, through someone I knew from an old project--and when I negotiated my salary, I asked for more money than I thought I could get, and they mostly gave it to me. After that, raises and stuff have all been based on that higher salary, and so now I am earning a comfortable amount.
So that took almost 20 years to go from broke to not; but not all 20 of those years were The Most Broke, and neither will yours be. As you continue on with your job you will, in all likelihood, start earning more money over time. You will also find it easier to save the longer you have stable employment--you won't be constantly scrambling. When you have some savings and some cushion you will stop feeling like you need to deprive yourself day to day. Honestly if you keep your job and make even a little progress raise-wise, you will probably get to a More Manageable Present in just a couple years.
But what you have to do is get and keep your mental health and social health taken care of, because otherwise you may not see the opportunities to negotiate for more, may not have the needed energy and optimism to take a better position or move to a better location.
Friends you engage with will have needs, yes. But part of friendship is that they will also help to meet yours! They'll split a Costco membership with you so y'all can save on groceries. They'll share their netflix passwords in exchange for you giving them a ride to work. And sometimes, they'll get you a job. And heck, sometimes, they'll become a romantic partner, and then one day you are splitting the rent on an apartment and everything will feel much easier.
So right now the most important things you can do to get out of your rut are: Keep your job, and work on your depression. Therapist, different meds, whatever it takes. Godspeed!
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 10:20 AM on August 8, 2022 [17 favorites]
Well...the future sucks, turns out, and computers suck, and our lives will be harder than our parents' lives (generationally speaking. My parents were also broke AF most of their lives).
My 20s AND 30s were spent in a state of mostly-brokeness. Right around 38-40, things began a slow turnaround, and then a fast turnaround. Here's how it happened:
My entire 20s were a long stretch of layoff-new job-layoff-new job. I got sick of that cycle and went freelance. It was a risk, but because I had worked in so many places, I had lots of potential clients. All of my friends from my jobs in my 20s hired me for projects in my 30s. They introduced me to other folks at their companies, who also hired me. As such, I had a good long time of "always working." You're in a stable, necessary industry--I bet you will have the same.
After about 10 years I was earning an OK amount. Then, I got a new job--again, through someone I knew from an old project--and when I negotiated my salary, I asked for more money than I thought I could get, and they mostly gave it to me. After that, raises and stuff have all been based on that higher salary, and so now I am earning a comfortable amount.
So that took almost 20 years to go from broke to not; but not all 20 of those years were The Most Broke, and neither will yours be. As you continue on with your job you will, in all likelihood, start earning more money over time. You will also find it easier to save the longer you have stable employment--you won't be constantly scrambling. When you have some savings and some cushion you will stop feeling like you need to deprive yourself day to day. Honestly if you keep your job and make even a little progress raise-wise, you will probably get to a More Manageable Present in just a couple years.
But what you have to do is get and keep your mental health and social health taken care of, because otherwise you may not see the opportunities to negotiate for more, may not have the needed energy and optimism to take a better position or move to a better location.
Friends you engage with will have needs, yes. But part of friendship is that they will also help to meet yours! They'll split a Costco membership with you so y'all can save on groceries. They'll share their netflix passwords in exchange for you giving them a ride to work. And sometimes, they'll get you a job. And heck, sometimes, they'll become a romantic partner, and then one day you are splitting the rent on an apartment and everything will feel much easier.
So right now the most important things you can do to get out of your rut are: Keep your job, and work on your depression. Therapist, different meds, whatever it takes. Godspeed!
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 10:20 AM on August 8, 2022 [17 favorites]
To be clear, nowhere in the insurance industry is going to hire "inexperienced, credential-less people for a good wage". What they'll do is hire inexperienced, credential-less people for a pretty crappy wage. Then, after a few months (for me, it was nine months in a call center), you won't be inexperienced anymore, so somebody else will be hiring a minimally-experienced, still credential-less person for a slightly less crappy wage, and maybe some assistance getting a credential. And then after that, someone else will be hiring a by-now fairly experienced, potentially credentialed person for a pretty OK wage. Then several years later, somebody else will be hiring a highly-experienced person for a good wage. I'm not saying you'll start to make money overnight (although there are a lot of insurance sales jobs, so it's possible, if you're into sales - I'm not and it doesn't sound like you are either, but it's out there); I'm saying there's a ladder where you can take the first step pretty easily.
So yeah, you can think that's taking advantage of the vulnerable if you'd like, but your question specifically asked to "tell [you] how [I] got out of a similar rut" and I'm telling you that, after moving back in with my mom when I was 30 years old because I was depressed and so broke that I couldn't afford to pay even the cheapest rent, I got a job at an insurance call center, and a dozen years later, I've quadrupled my salary to where I make more than double the median income in my area and my most recent credit score was nearly 800. And during those years, I've met literally hundreds of people without even a college degree making significantly more money than me. "I want money, damn it, that's all I care about right now", you say? The insurance industry can make that happen.
posted by kevinbelt at 10:39 AM on August 8, 2022 [15 favorites]
So yeah, you can think that's taking advantage of the vulnerable if you'd like, but your question specifically asked to "tell [you] how [I] got out of a similar rut" and I'm telling you that, after moving back in with my mom when I was 30 years old because I was depressed and so broke that I couldn't afford to pay even the cheapest rent, I got a job at an insurance call center, and a dozen years later, I've quadrupled my salary to where I make more than double the median income in my area and my most recent credit score was nearly 800. And during those years, I've met literally hundreds of people without even a college degree making significantly more money than me. "I want money, damn it, that's all I care about right now", you say? The insurance industry can make that happen.
posted by kevinbelt at 10:39 AM on August 8, 2022 [15 favorites]
So, it seems like you have two competing desires, each of which makes solving the other very difficult:
I'm now working as an EMT, which is much better than my old job as a poorly-paid office drone.
and
I want money, damn it, that's all I care about right now.
You like your job, and it's better for your mental health than previous jobs. It's also better for your mental health than other jobs that might pay more money. But you also need to make more money in order to not be miserable, to feel secure, to work towards the future you want.
I'm not very familiar with the field of EMT work, but you are, and your coworkers who have been in the field longer than you have are even more familiar with it than you. So start talking with them and observing what folks in your field do to build careers. How are coworkers who make about the same as you making it work financially? Do people have second jobs, and if so, what kind? How do people more experienced than you work their way up in the field? Are there trainings people take that bump up their salaries? Careers experienced EMTs transition into after a few years that use your skills but pay better? Other ambulance companies that pay better that you can jump to? Figure out what the path is to get from the job you have now to a job that pays better. Then try to do that.
It may be, unfortunately, that there just isn't a path out. As we've all seen over the past few years, the jobs we consider the most "essential" are often also the worst paid and have crappy working conditions. EMTs are among those. And then I think you have to decide which you care about more: keeping the job you currently have, or making more money. There are lots of people who stay in jobs they don't love, or even jobs they hate, because they need or want the financial benefits. My friends who are corporate lawyers often hate their jobs, but they're rich, so a lot of them stay for that reason. So it may end up being that you have to choose. But that's not the fault of the people commenting on this post, trying to help you. That's the society we live in, and people are trying, in good faith, to give you the best advice we can under the constraints that actually exist.
It does sound like you feel very strongly that the corporate culture of most low- to mid-level jobs at for-profit companies is bad. Have you considered, if you're not already, joining some political groups? Lots of folks are working hard to help people you describe as "interchangeable cogs" unionize and organize for better wages and better treatment. Maybe doing that kind of organizing work would help you feel more hopeful about the world than you do now, when you see it and can't see a way out of it.
posted by decathecting at 11:06 AM on August 8, 2022 [8 favorites]
I'm now working as an EMT, which is much better than my old job as a poorly-paid office drone.
and
I want money, damn it, that's all I care about right now.
You like your job, and it's better for your mental health than previous jobs. It's also better for your mental health than other jobs that might pay more money. But you also need to make more money in order to not be miserable, to feel secure, to work towards the future you want.
I'm not very familiar with the field of EMT work, but you are, and your coworkers who have been in the field longer than you have are even more familiar with it than you. So start talking with them and observing what folks in your field do to build careers. How are coworkers who make about the same as you making it work financially? Do people have second jobs, and if so, what kind? How do people more experienced than you work their way up in the field? Are there trainings people take that bump up their salaries? Careers experienced EMTs transition into after a few years that use your skills but pay better? Other ambulance companies that pay better that you can jump to? Figure out what the path is to get from the job you have now to a job that pays better. Then try to do that.
It may be, unfortunately, that there just isn't a path out. As we've all seen over the past few years, the jobs we consider the most "essential" are often also the worst paid and have crappy working conditions. EMTs are among those. And then I think you have to decide which you care about more: keeping the job you currently have, or making more money. There are lots of people who stay in jobs they don't love, or even jobs they hate, because they need or want the financial benefits. My friends who are corporate lawyers often hate their jobs, but they're rich, so a lot of them stay for that reason. So it may end up being that you have to choose. But that's not the fault of the people commenting on this post, trying to help you. That's the society we live in, and people are trying, in good faith, to give you the best advice we can under the constraints that actually exist.
It does sound like you feel very strongly that the corporate culture of most low- to mid-level jobs at for-profit companies is bad. Have you considered, if you're not already, joining some political groups? Lots of folks are working hard to help people you describe as "interchangeable cogs" unionize and organize for better wages and better treatment. Maybe doing that kind of organizing work would help you feel more hopeful about the world than you do now, when you see it and can't see a way out of it.
posted by decathecting at 11:06 AM on August 8, 2022 [8 favorites]
would actually be a step down from the job I have
It was a step down from the jobs I'd been working before that, too. But I was super broke, and since my mom lived in a small town, I didn't have a lot of other options. The point I'm trying to make is that whatever the next move you make is, it isn't going to be the move that solves the problem. Your next move is going to set up the move after that, and so on. I got lucky in that I made a move out of desperation that ended up being a pretty good move and set up better moves that didn't actually anticipate at the time. But now, with the benefit of hindsight, I can see why that ended up helping me later in my career, and that's what I'm trying to share here.
Also, the company that ran that call center kind of ruled, and I kind of wish that I'd stayed with them and worked my way up in that company. I know a couple people who did. A lot of companies have call centers, and not all of them are bad. That was probably the best company I've ever worked for, in terms of how they treated employees.
And also, you don't have to start in a call center, necessarily. Just saying that's an easy way to get some experience, which is the key thing that will help you land a better paying job. You could be a front-desk person in an agency, or a desktop support person in the IT department, or whatever. But since you asked specifically for personally anecdotes, I gave a personal anecdote.
posted by kevinbelt at 11:14 AM on August 8, 2022 [19 favorites]
It was a step down from the jobs I'd been working before that, too. But I was super broke, and since my mom lived in a small town, I didn't have a lot of other options. The point I'm trying to make is that whatever the next move you make is, it isn't going to be the move that solves the problem. Your next move is going to set up the move after that, and so on. I got lucky in that I made a move out of desperation that ended up being a pretty good move and set up better moves that didn't actually anticipate at the time. But now, with the benefit of hindsight, I can see why that ended up helping me later in my career, and that's what I'm trying to share here.
Also, the company that ran that call center kind of ruled, and I kind of wish that I'd stayed with them and worked my way up in that company. I know a couple people who did. A lot of companies have call centers, and not all of them are bad. That was probably the best company I've ever worked for, in terms of how they treated employees.
And also, you don't have to start in a call center, necessarily. Just saying that's an easy way to get some experience, which is the key thing that will help you land a better paying job. You could be a front-desk person in an agency, or a desktop support person in the IT department, or whatever. But since you asked specifically for personally anecdotes, I gave a personal anecdote.
posted by kevinbelt at 11:14 AM on August 8, 2022 [19 favorites]
Mod note: Several comments deleted. Please check the Ask MetaFilter Guidelines under the Content Policy:
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posted by loup (staff) at 11:30 AM on August 8, 2022 [5 favorites]
"Ask MetaFilter comments should address the main question being asked. Jokes, derailing the conversation, ranting, picking a fight or chastising the asker, arguing among commenters, single word comments and other non-answers will probably be removed."
posted by loup (staff) at 11:30 AM on August 8, 2022 [5 favorites]
I am also extremely right-brained (art degree, never even took advanced math in high school). I am a nurse. I managed chemistry, anatomy and physiology, math because I found out what the curriculum and requirements were for the program I chose, and I took them separately, unmatriculated, at a local community college at my own pace. When I finally was accepted to the nursing program I transferred those credits in and had a course load that was lighter than other students, who entered needing to take all the credits. I found it much, much easier to do well in the actual nursing curriculum.
Nursing programs are also popular right now, and there may well be wait lists, so you'd have time to get some credits done while you wait for admission.
One advantage of nursing is that there are so many applications, including school nursing, hospital nursing, out-patient nursing, telephone triage with an insurer, and there are many, many more possibilities.
If you can master EMT I have no doubt you can succeed as a nurse. Good luck!
posted by citygirl at 11:32 AM on August 8, 2022 [17 favorites]
Nursing programs are also popular right now, and there may well be wait lists, so you'd have time to get some credits done while you wait for admission.
One advantage of nursing is that there are so many applications, including school nursing, hospital nursing, out-patient nursing, telephone triage with an insurer, and there are many, many more possibilities.
If you can master EMT I have no doubt you can succeed as a nurse. Good luck!
posted by citygirl at 11:32 AM on August 8, 2022 [17 favorites]
A couple observations which you may or may not find useful right now, coming from an college dropout who has worked up the software career ladder (similar grind to kevinbelt, fwiw) to director level.
The only person on the planet that's responsible for your career growth is you. Not your current manager, not a potential hiring manager, not a course/certificate/bootcamp etc. So once you're in a position, don't wait for the next opportunity to come to you, you have to proactively plan for it, seek it out, make it happen.
A hiring manager's job is to find the best candidate to help the business succeed. There are many facets to this. If I interviewed a candidate that expressed a pervasive negative attitude, they'd get ruled out pretty quickly because I have to assume this negativity would continue to exist once they're hired and bring the team down. I'd encourage you to find or fake the best optimistic tone possible during the job search interactions. Keep it up post-interview regardless if you do or don't get the job. Fake it til you make it. No, I'm not trying to tell you to "just stop being depressed". It's nasty cycle, and I encourage you to be creative on how to break out of it for a few hours at a time.
Networking is important. All interactions are job interviews. When Suzy casually mentions to Sally that her team is looking for a teapot maker but they just haven't found the right person, your past interactions with Sally will determine if she remembers you and recommends you for the job. Or when your current company is planning for a reorganization and they need more leaders (or more layoffs), how will they think of you? Ideally positively.
Not all desk jobs are evil, soul sucking places. Don't rule them out completely, just rule them out as you interview and determine that this particular place is evil. A desk job in a healthy company on a healthy team can greatly help get your life and career on track.
posted by Diddly at 11:39 AM on August 8, 2022 [7 favorites]
The only person on the planet that's responsible for your career growth is you. Not your current manager, not a potential hiring manager, not a course/certificate/bootcamp etc. So once you're in a position, don't wait for the next opportunity to come to you, you have to proactively plan for it, seek it out, make it happen.
A hiring manager's job is to find the best candidate to help the business succeed. There are many facets to this. If I interviewed a candidate that expressed a pervasive negative attitude, they'd get ruled out pretty quickly because I have to assume this negativity would continue to exist once they're hired and bring the team down. I'd encourage you to find or fake the best optimistic tone possible during the job search interactions. Keep it up post-interview regardless if you do or don't get the job. Fake it til you make it. No, I'm not trying to tell you to "just stop being depressed". It's nasty cycle, and I encourage you to be creative on how to break out of it for a few hours at a time.
Networking is important. All interactions are job interviews. When Suzy casually mentions to Sally that her team is looking for a teapot maker but they just haven't found the right person, your past interactions with Sally will determine if she remembers you and recommends you for the job. Or when your current company is planning for a reorganization and they need more leaders (or more layoffs), how will they think of you? Ideally positively.
Not all desk jobs are evil, soul sucking places. Don't rule them out completely, just rule them out as you interview and determine that this particular place is evil. A desk job in a healthy company on a healthy team can greatly help get your life and career on track.
posted by Diddly at 11:39 AM on August 8, 2022 [7 favorites]
I wonder if your EMT training might qualify you to be some kind of home healthcare aid, and you could pick up a few hours here and there to supplement your income? I thought you said you don't have a car, but maybe something could be worked out - but re-reading I don't see anything about a car. Maybe you could find a side gig to run errands for $20-25/hr (depends on where you live, maybe more) for a housebound person.
Another situation might be something like, an elderly person living at home with family caregivers that need a break for a few hours during the week.
Depression is hard and often seems like it will never end. I hope you hear from that therapist soon.
posted by Glinn at 11:49 AM on August 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
Another situation might be something like, an elderly person living at home with family caregivers that need a break for a few hours during the week.
Depression is hard and often seems like it will never end. I hope you hear from that therapist soon.
posted by Glinn at 11:49 AM on August 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
The classic “it takes money to make money” but if your can become a Red Cross certified CPR instructor, that can be a fantastic side hustle, especially if you get in with the right groups (summer camp and after school programs needing to certify a group at once).
I’ll just jump in to say that it’s not a failure that you feel shorty when you don’t have money and are stressed about it. In fact, that’s entirely how it works.
posted by raccoon409 at 12:22 PM on August 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
I’ll just jump in to say that it’s not a failure that you feel shorty when you don’t have money and are stressed about it. In fact, that’s entirely how it works.
posted by raccoon409 at 12:22 PM on August 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
RN here, also Art School Dropout. For the majority of my adult life I kicked around doing pretty much anything and everything, never establishing any stable career. Even into my 40s, I was still working go-nowhere helpdesk positions for $16-17/hr. I knew after reading through the CCNA book that I would never move forward in tech, and really didn't like it anyway.
I did a 180 and trained to become a Medical Assistant. I figured that if I was going to make $16/hr, I might as well do something that is a bit interesting. I almost immediately started working towards my RN prereqs, like Anatomy & Physiology. I am so NOT a science guy but put my nose to the grindstone and got through somehow. Got into RN school and started a nights/weekends path while still working FT as a MA. It was a rough few years, but I got through it.
Been an RN for about 2 years now and gotta say, the change in pay has been life changing. Paid off my car, credit cards, student loan (which had been hanging over my head since the 90s), started a retirement account. By my next paycheck, I'll be debt-free for the first time in my adult life. If I play my cards right and work hard, I might be able to scrape up a decent down payment on a condo in the next few years.
Best of luck to you.
posted by KickTheBobo at 12:35 PM on August 8, 2022 [11 favorites]
I did a 180 and trained to become a Medical Assistant. I figured that if I was going to make $16/hr, I might as well do something that is a bit interesting. I almost immediately started working towards my RN prereqs, like Anatomy & Physiology. I am so NOT a science guy but put my nose to the grindstone and got through somehow. Got into RN school and started a nights/weekends path while still working FT as a MA. It was a rough few years, but I got through it.
Been an RN for about 2 years now and gotta say, the change in pay has been life changing. Paid off my car, credit cards, student loan (which had been hanging over my head since the 90s), started a retirement account. By my next paycheck, I'll be debt-free for the first time in my adult life. If I play my cards right and work hard, I might be able to scrape up a decent down payment on a condo in the next few years.
Best of luck to you.
posted by KickTheBobo at 12:35 PM on August 8, 2022 [11 favorites]
Some thoughts:
Food:
I had a friend who worked as a corrections officer (after being an EMT, now that I think of it), and you are eating what incarcerated people eat. Cheap options do exist beyond Ramen. Check out questions on Ask Metafilter as well as the interwebs!
I’m not knocking it--Ramen is quick, hot, salty, comforting to slurp, but you can do better.
From my experience food pantries can help…Honestly, some of it is not great (canned tuna that you only know is tuna because it says so), but you can certainly get things such as: rice, bread, lentils, peanut butter, canned vegs.
Career/ Going back to school:
Firstly, I know quite a few nurses who struggled with parts of their schooling. So, reconsider this if you think you’d like the field. Also, there are tons of medical fields that you might be good at. Look at being an EMT as a step on a path…there are future steps and you will get to them.
Like KevinBelt, I once worked at an insurance company, and agree it is worth looking at as an opportunity for a FT gig with benefits, etc. But if you like being an EMT, maybe stay with it and keep your mind open for what would be a good next step.
Earning more:
I’d seriously look at a second job, just to get some more cash coming in. ….I don’t know how feasible that is, like maybe you don’t have a set day off? But, if you can handle it, I would explore…. restaurants, retail, whatever. Also, social services—overnights at a group home for example. You wouldn’t be doing much, but you could earn some extra money, and being an EMT would make you well qualified…Do any of the other EMTS have side jobs?
Mental Health:
Sounds like your meds are not working.
I’d get off or seriously limit your media intake.
Food can be a factor—other than ramen are you eating a lot of fast food or junk food? No judgement. But a small action such as grabbing a 7/11 banana or yogurt can really help. Being broke makes it tough bc you are going to feel guilt or whatever about spending the money, but if you can, do it.
EMT work can be very physical, so there is an exhaustion factor, but can you take a short walk here and there? Is there a park or nice street where maybe before or after your shift you can go to?
Good luck.
posted by rhonzo at 1:51 PM on August 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
Food:
I had a friend who worked as a corrections officer (after being an EMT, now that I think of it), and you are eating what incarcerated people eat. Cheap options do exist beyond Ramen. Check out questions on Ask Metafilter as well as the interwebs!
I’m not knocking it--Ramen is quick, hot, salty, comforting to slurp, but you can do better.
From my experience food pantries can help…Honestly, some of it is not great (canned tuna that you only know is tuna because it says so), but you can certainly get things such as: rice, bread, lentils, peanut butter, canned vegs.
Career/ Going back to school:
Firstly, I know quite a few nurses who struggled with parts of their schooling. So, reconsider this if you think you’d like the field. Also, there are tons of medical fields that you might be good at. Look at being an EMT as a step on a path…there are future steps and you will get to them.
Like KevinBelt, I once worked at an insurance company, and agree it is worth looking at as an opportunity for a FT gig with benefits, etc. But if you like being an EMT, maybe stay with it and keep your mind open for what would be a good next step.
Earning more:
I’d seriously look at a second job, just to get some more cash coming in. ….I don’t know how feasible that is, like maybe you don’t have a set day off? But, if you can handle it, I would explore…. restaurants, retail, whatever. Also, social services—overnights at a group home for example. You wouldn’t be doing much, but you could earn some extra money, and being an EMT would make you well qualified…Do any of the other EMTS have side jobs?
Mental Health:
Sounds like your meds are not working.
I’d get off or seriously limit your media intake.
Food can be a factor—other than ramen are you eating a lot of fast food or junk food? No judgement. But a small action such as grabbing a 7/11 banana or yogurt can really help. Being broke makes it tough bc you are going to feel guilt or whatever about spending the money, but if you can, do it.
EMT work can be very physical, so there is an exhaustion factor, but can you take a short walk here and there? Is there a park or nice street where maybe before or after your shift you can go to?
Good luck.
posted by rhonzo at 1:51 PM on August 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
I don't know if this would have any appeal for you at all, but in many municipalities and counties, EMS certification is either a pre-requisite to become a fire fighter or grounds for differential pay for fire fighters. Being a fire fighter is a difficult job with a peculiar schedule, but also: unionized, with a pension, great benefits, and fire fighters think highly of their jobs, and the people in their communities think highly of them. In my experience seasoned fire fighters are the kind of people who will talk about how underpaid they are but the passion for the job keeps them there, but then when they say what they make I'm always floored by how much higher their salary is than mine. (Deservedly.)
I've also known a person or two who remained in EMS but transitioned either to helicopter EMT or ER EMT and got a pay bump and a broader career pathway out of it.
Count me into the chorus of people who thinks you could also probably become an RN. Many many people suffer through anatomy or microbiology or whatever and become nurses on the other side of it. You just don't see their anatomy exam "F's" on their record when you're at the doctor's office.
Aaaaand finally I think it would be great to look into a variety of allied health occupations, like MRI technician or respiratory therapist or whatever, the list is long. Many of these are just a certification away, maybe even through the relatively cheap community college system. As with nursing, there's a shortage. As with nursing, these are jobs that poor people use to become upper middle class people. Depending on where you live, you'll end up in a union, but at least you'll end up with an industry recognized credential that gives you a pay bump and some benefits.
You don't say where you live, but if you live in a large metropolitan area, I'd recommend going online to the county's career site and filtering around to search for professions based on salary. You could do a lot worse than become a public servant. If you look in their site specifically for health care and allied health professions, you'll be able to identify the certifications that are required for specific jobs that you'll find either in the safety net hospital system or in the larger private sector health care industry.
Good luck to you.
posted by kensington314 at 3:31 PM on August 8, 2022 [4 favorites]
I've also known a person or two who remained in EMS but transitioned either to helicopter EMT or ER EMT and got a pay bump and a broader career pathway out of it.
Count me into the chorus of people who thinks you could also probably become an RN. Many many people suffer through anatomy or microbiology or whatever and become nurses on the other side of it. You just don't see their anatomy exam "F's" on their record when you're at the doctor's office.
Aaaaand finally I think it would be great to look into a variety of allied health occupations, like MRI technician or respiratory therapist or whatever, the list is long. Many of these are just a certification away, maybe even through the relatively cheap community college system. As with nursing, there's a shortage. As with nursing, these are jobs that poor people use to become upper middle class people. Depending on where you live, you'll end up in a union, but at least you'll end up with an industry recognized credential that gives you a pay bump and some benefits.
You don't say where you live, but if you live in a large metropolitan area, I'd recommend going online to the county's career site and filtering around to search for professions based on salary. You could do a lot worse than become a public servant. If you look in their site specifically for health care and allied health professions, you'll be able to identify the certifications that are required for specific jobs that you'll find either in the safety net hospital system or in the larger private sector health care industry.
Good luck to you.
posted by kensington314 at 3:31 PM on August 8, 2022 [4 favorites]
You might also consider checking USAJobs - which is where various government jobs get posted. Various park service jobs get advertised there - some are more desk jobs, but others involve more time spent outdoors. And I imagine having EMT knowledge would be attractive for some of them. Of the jobs I've seen (I'm currently plotting a potential career change), not all are going to make you rich, but they will at least allow you to live a middle class life.
posted by coffeecat at 3:32 PM on August 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by coffeecat at 3:32 PM on August 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
It does sound like being an EMT is better for you than being an office drone, but EMTs are also notoriously exposed to moral injury and in general see the worst things that happen to humans on a daily basis, at a relatively low rate of pay for how difficult and taxing the work is. If you're already prone to depression, it's a tough field. Which is to say that it sounds like it's time to start looking for the next, better paying step in your field. (This is, honestly, what is SUPPOSED to happen. Most of us start out with suboptimal jobs with low pay. Then you find a slightly less crappy, slightly better paid job. As you develop skills and a network, hopefully eventually you find a job you like that pays pretty well).
If you like the excitement of emergency work, you could look at programs for surgical or radiology techs (always in demand), or go on to get paramedic training. Cath lab techs, for example, typically make in the upper 5 figures and can make over 6 figures (you'd need a fair amount of experience for that). There are plenty of cardiac emergencies but also a fair amount of bread and butter work.
You are probably pretty busy between your EMT work and maybe moving on for additional training, but if you need extra cash you could think about things like being a BLS trainer, looking to see if there are any home health agencies who need moonlighters for patients being transported on stretchers or with ventilators, etc.
Remember you do not need to fix everything all at once. Small steps and steady progress will keep you moving in the right direction.
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis at 3:34 PM on August 8, 2022 [1 favorite]
If you like the excitement of emergency work, you could look at programs for surgical or radiology techs (always in demand), or go on to get paramedic training. Cath lab techs, for example, typically make in the upper 5 figures and can make over 6 figures (you'd need a fair amount of experience for that). There are plenty of cardiac emergencies but also a fair amount of bread and butter work.
You are probably pretty busy between your EMT work and maybe moving on for additional training, but if you need extra cash you could think about things like being a BLS trainer, looking to see if there are any home health agencies who need moonlighters for patients being transported on stretchers or with ventilators, etc.
Remember you do not need to fix everything all at once. Small steps and steady progress will keep you moving in the right direction.
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis at 3:34 PM on August 8, 2022 [1 favorite]
If you are enjoying what you are doing right now, I know a lot of folks who end up cross-training in EMS/fire service/health and safety inspections/health and safety trainings/emergency dispatch. If your job doesn’t provide additional training in those areas for free, I know the volunteer fire departments around here do, and joining could be an additional resume booster and source of human connection without having to pay for the training.
posted by tchemgrrl at 3:45 AM on August 9, 2022
posted by tchemgrrl at 3:45 AM on August 9, 2022
This thread is closed to new comments.
I ask myself what can I do TODAY that helps?
Can I have a hot shower?
Can I eat something tasty?
Can I eat some protein?
Can I drink some water?
Can I read a book or watch TV/a film?
Can I cuddle a cat?
Can I call a friend?
Because sometimes you don't have the mental energy/emotional energy to problem solve your whole future. Sometimes all you can do is just get through today as best you can.
posted by carriage pulled by cassowaries at 9:26 AM on August 8, 2022 [26 favorites]