Coping with loneliness while not working

January 24, 2022 10:52 PM

Hey all. I'm thinking of taking my second work sabbatical, by joining the great resignation and not working for 6-8 months. I last did this in 2016 and was horribly lonely for most of it. I'm looking for ways to remain connected to people since I won't have regular coworkers to talk to during this time.

I guess I know the usual ways of Meetups, but I'm curious about other outlets, especially those that are a smaller consistent group that meets regularly (with Meetups, it's often a different group of 5-15 people each time). I'm even open to working a little bit, as long as it's not more than 1-2 days per week (I saw a company that pays you to deliver propane canisters if you have a pickup truck, which I do).

Even this past holiday season was rough, as I spent much of it sitting in my apartment with my cats, talking to no one. It seems like spending several months doing this might drive me mad. The main reason for the break is that I feel as burnt out by everyone from the pandemic. I also want to pursue my hobbies (skiing, climbing, running), but I can't do that everyday and it isn't a substitute for human interaction. I always climb with partners, but most of my partners are only free on weekends.

I live in Seattle. Ideally I'd like to convert my job (a 9-5 as a data scientist) to something like 1-2 days per week, but I don't think that's possible, so I'm just thinking of quitting.

TIA

posted by mnemonic to Human Relations (9 answers total)

Have you thought about taking some sort of regular class, preferably one with an interactive Zoom component? Working on a master's degree (via Harvard Extension School which I like, but there are lots of options) definitely helped keep me sane after I quit my job and started working as a remote contractor. Not every class was great, but I learned a lot of interesting stuff and talked to other interesting students over the internet. I'm starting to miss it now that I'm done with regular classes and just need to finish my thesis before graduation. There are a lot of possible subjects that cross over with data science, or you could just go learn something completely random that you're interested in.
posted by JZig at 11:24 PM on January 24, 2022

Language lessons? In a small group that meets regularly (an intensive course would be 2-3 times per week), where you have to talk to people because that's the focus. Could be a nice way to start a new language or work on whatever your weakest one is.
posted by I claim sanctuary at 11:30 PM on January 24, 2022 [3 favorites]

I usually try to find volunteer work. At the moment it's at a local indigenous nursery. In the past it's been at animal shelters at the Aquarium, or the natural science museum. It usually works well, building in social connection with a shared purpose.
I've also joined walking groups, and paddling groups, and participated in beach cleanups.
posted by Zumbador at 12:44 AM on January 25, 2022 [7 favorites]

Join a climbing gym. I guarantee you will meet new climbing partners who are available during the week.
posted by ananci at 4:35 AM on January 25, 2022 [4 favorites]

Here are some types of groups that meet regularly:
* Churches (both services and subgroups ... Unitarian Universalist might be more likely to appeal to Mefites.)
* Boards, commissions and committees of various sorts (government and nonprofit)
* Political groups (Sierra Club subgroups, local county Dems, Progressive Democrats of America ...)
* Choral groups
* Improv groups or classes
* Little theaters (cast or crew)
* Habitat for Humanity and the like
* Soup kitchen
* Food banks and pantries
* Conservation groups (trail restoration, wildlife rehab, etc.)
* Animal shelters
* Homeless shelters
* Noncredit or community classes of various types (arts, computers, cooking, fitness, foreign language, gardening, sewing, sports...)
posted by NotLost at 5:12 AM on January 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

You also might be able to find a running club that meets, although that would likely be on the weekend.
posted by NotLost at 5:22 AM on January 25, 2022

Volunteering was how I stayed connected at the start of the pandemic. North Helpline's food bank at Lake City needs people during the week during the day, it's a big open warehouse and during distribution they keep the garage door wall(s) open (so it's less risky, COVID-wise).
posted by Gorgik at 6:23 AM on January 25, 2022 [4 favorites]

Nthing a regular once-a-week volunteer gig. I was a museum volunteer for many years, and made lots of good friends there. Getting a weekend volunteer assignment sometimes had a waiting list but there were always plenty of weekday shifts available. My local food bank is always looking for volunteers and they don't even require you to sign up ahead of time but my impression is that it's still a lot of the same people week to week.

I'm don't have a regular volunteer gig at the moment but I do sing in a chorus that meets weekly and that's great, although COVID precautions have cut into the social aspect somewhat.

For non-volunteer/low-commitment stuff, you can just become a regular someplace. Decide that you're going to your neighborhood bar or coffeeshop once a week. (I was doing this pre-Omicron but I've cut back.) Seriously if you go to the same place every week in the middle of a weekday, you will see the same people and can often at least sort of get to know them/talk with them.
posted by mskyle at 8:43 AM on January 25, 2022 [2 favorites]

Also coming back to add: you can 100% find people who will go climbing with you on weekdays. There are plenty of people in the service industry (waitstaff, bartenders, etc.) who love to climb and who mostly have their weekdays free. Join a rock gym and/or ask around (at gear shops, bars/restaurants near the places you like to climb, etc.) to find these people. (My sister recently got her first 9-5 job after spending her 20s and a good chunk of her 30s as a waitress and bartender - she used to ski/bike/climb all day and then go to work. It seemed pretty great!)
posted by mskyle at 5:22 AM on January 26, 2022