Gaining Access to my Deceased Husband's Google Account
January 14, 2022 3:24 PM Subscribe
I've been desperately trying to get access to my deceased husband's google account (gmail, Drive, etc.) for the past few months. I filled out the requisite form on Google's site, uploaded the needed docs, and received a reply that the account didn't exist. It's complicated, but he basically had an email domain he was forwarding to another gmail address. In any case, I replied with the actual gmail address. That was 3 months ago. I've heard nothing since.
What's strange, is somehow the forwarding on his account got disabled, because is gmail (name@gmail.com) still works, but his domain email (name@name.com) doesn't. I'm confused why this happened without anyone's consent, but perhaps that's an unrelated problem.
I really need access to his gmail and Drive in order to get access to a bunch of other things (his phone, his computer, etc.). Is it normal to not receive a response after this amount of time (it's been 3 months)? Is there another way to go about this?
Would love to hear about other's experience with this, and if there's anything I haven't tried.
Thank you!
What's strange, is somehow the forwarding on his account got disabled, because is gmail (name@gmail.com) still works, but his domain email (name@name.com) doesn't. I'm confused why this happened without anyone's consent, but perhaps that's an unrelated problem.
I really need access to his gmail and Drive in order to get access to a bunch of other things (his phone, his computer, etc.). Is it normal to not receive a response after this amount of time (it's been 3 months)? Is there another way to go about this?
Would love to hear about other's experience with this, and if there's anything I haven't tried.
Thank you!
Response by poster: Thanks for the response. He absolutely did not close his account before he passed. His death was unexpected.
I just checked with the company that provides the domain, and the domain is active (name@name.com). Name@name.com forwards to name@gmail.com. Name@gmail.com works. When I send a message to that email address, I get an auto response my husband set up that says to email name@name.com. But the domain (name@name.com) does not work. By not works, I mean I get an auto response that says the email no longer exists. It's really confusing.
I am also locked out of his computer and phone. I am in a bit of a chicken and egg situation with those. Basically, I need access to his gmail to get access to his phone and computer, but I need access to his phone and computer to get access to his gmail.
I have tried resubmitting the form to Google a few times. Unfortunately, that just hasn't been effective. I will take a look at the help forum- thanks for those!
posted by firemonkey at 3:47 PM on January 14, 2022
I just checked with the company that provides the domain, and the domain is active (name@name.com). Name@name.com forwards to name@gmail.com. Name@gmail.com works. When I send a message to that email address, I get an auto response my husband set up that says to email name@name.com. But the domain (name@name.com) does not work. By not works, I mean I get an auto response that says the email no longer exists. It's really confusing.
I am also locked out of his computer and phone. I am in a bit of a chicken and egg situation with those. Basically, I need access to his gmail to get access to his phone and computer, but I need access to his phone and computer to get access to his gmail.
I have tried resubmitting the form to Google a few times. Unfortunately, that just hasn't been effective. I will take a look at the help forum- thanks for those!
posted by firemonkey at 3:47 PM on January 14, 2022
I'm sorry for your loss and the extra stress this must be causing.
Google is notoriously bad at any kind of support and it is not unusual at all to hit multiple obstacles like this with account issues. I would continue on the official path and attempt if at all possible to get any human you interact with to point you in the right direction or give you another human to talk with.
It's possible the email forwarding (name@name.com) stopped working because the domain expired or the configuration changed (a certificate running out, etc).
If the official process continues to be unproductive, memail me and I'll see if I can find any other way forward (I don't have an inside agent or anything but they do occasionally return my emails).
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 3:49 PM on January 14, 2022 [5 favorites]
Google is notoriously bad at any kind of support and it is not unusual at all to hit multiple obstacles like this with account issues. I would continue on the official path and attempt if at all possible to get any human you interact with to point you in the right direction or give you another human to talk with.
It's possible the email forwarding (name@name.com) stopped working because the domain expired or the configuration changed (a certificate running out, etc).
If the official process continues to be unproductive, memail me and I'll see if I can find any other way forward (I don't have an inside agent or anything but they do occasionally return my emails).
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 3:49 PM on January 14, 2022 [5 favorites]
I'm confused about what you're saying.
It sounds like he owned his own domain (name.com) and that he used his gmail account (name@gmail.com) to check his own domain's email address (name@name.com).
I do that. I own 11 domains each with at least one email address, but I log into my gmail account and use that account to check the email from those domains. That said, I do not "forward" the emails to my gmail -- I merely do this because I like the interface and prefer to log into one site instead of 11.
It also sounds like his own domain has expired. Therefore any emails sent to that address would bounce whereas his gmail account would still be "active".
If you gain access to the gmail account, you will no doubt be able to view his gmails and his emails from before the domain expired.
Depending on where he bought the domain from and where he was hosting it, perhaps repurchasing the domain name would turn it back on and you'd be able to access the email interface without gmail. However, I suspect that after 3 months the inbox would have been wiped by the host. If you know who that host is, and when the domain expired, you could perhaps contact them and see if rebuying the domain will allow you access to backups from before it expired?
posted by dobbs at 3:50 PM on January 14, 2022
It sounds like he owned his own domain (name.com) and that he used his gmail account (name@gmail.com) to check his own domain's email address (name@name.com).
I do that. I own 11 domains each with at least one email address, but I log into my gmail account and use that account to check the email from those domains. That said, I do not "forward" the emails to my gmail -- I merely do this because I like the interface and prefer to log into one site instead of 11.
It also sounds like his own domain has expired. Therefore any emails sent to that address would bounce whereas his gmail account would still be "active".
If you gain access to the gmail account, you will no doubt be able to view his gmails and his emails from before the domain expired.
Depending on where he bought the domain from and where he was hosting it, perhaps repurchasing the domain name would turn it back on and you'd be able to access the email interface without gmail. However, I suspect that after 3 months the inbox would have been wiped by the host. If you know who that host is, and when the domain expired, you could perhaps contact them and see if rebuying the domain will allow you access to backups from before it expired?
posted by dobbs at 3:50 PM on January 14, 2022
Sorry, I posted my previous response before seeing your update.
Have you tried running a Whois on his name.com? Doing that will show you if the domain name is currently owned by anyone (hopefully your husband) and when it expires. It can also tell you where it's being hosted.
posted by dobbs at 3:53 PM on January 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
Have you tried running a Whois on his name.com? Doing that will show you if the domain name is currently owned by anyone (hopefully your husband) and when it expires. It can also tell you where it's being hosted.
posted by dobbs at 3:53 PM on January 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: I actually have the login for the domain. It's active, and to be safe I just paid for it to be renewed for another year.
My husband actually did a similar thing to dobbs, he used his gmail account (name@gmail.com) to check the domain address (name@name.com).
I've sent requests to Google for access to name@gmail.com and name@name.com. So far, nothing has come of it.
Thanks, everyone for being willing to help!
posted by firemonkey at 4:01 PM on January 14, 2022
My husband actually did a similar thing to dobbs, he used his gmail account (name@gmail.com) to check the domain address (name@name.com).
I've sent requests to Google for access to name@gmail.com and name@name.com. So far, nothing has come of it.
Thanks, everyone for being willing to help!
posted by firemonkey at 4:01 PM on January 14, 2022
I am also locked out of his computer and phone.
What kind of computer is it (Windows/OSX/linux, desktop or laptop, and if laptop, which model)?
If he didn't encrypt his hard drive, there are some things you could do to get access to the files on it, though they'll depend on the answers to those questions, and also on how willing you are to try tech-y things. If you update here, we can suggest some approaches.
posted by trig at 4:05 PM on January 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
What kind of computer is it (Windows/OSX/linux, desktop or laptop, and if laptop, which model)?
If he didn't encrypt his hard drive, there are some things you could do to get access to the files on it, though they'll depend on the answers to those questions, and also on how willing you are to try tech-y things. If you update here, we can suggest some approaches.
posted by trig at 4:05 PM on January 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
So I can't help you with the bigger picture, but I'm a person who uses gmail and also has a name@name.com email address that used to be directed into my gmail and which suddenly stopped working recently (when I knew the domain had not expired). I asked a couple of questions about it here and was eventually able to get it working, but only by futzing with the settings from within my name@gmail account.
posted by BlahLaLa at 5:25 PM on January 14, 2022
posted by BlahLaLa at 5:25 PM on January 14, 2022
I actually have the login for the domain. It's active, and to be safe I just paid for it to be renewed for another year.
Where is it being hosted? Log in there and then cntrl-F for "mail" without the quotes and click on the result. Make sure you search for just mail and not email as some hosts have other words in front of them (webmail, squirrelmail, etc.).
With my setup, my email is hosted on my webhost and the Google interface merely has access to grab that mail and display it to me.
When your husband set up the gmail interface, he was probably given the option "leave a copy on the server?" and if he chose to do so all the email should still be there.
posted by dobbs at 5:48 PM on January 14, 2022
Where is it being hosted? Log in there and then cntrl-F for "mail" without the quotes and click on the result. Make sure you search for just mail and not email as some hosts have other words in front of them (webmail, squirrelmail, etc.).
With my setup, my email is hosted on my webhost and the Google interface merely has access to grab that mail and display it to me.
When your husband set up the gmail interface, he was probably given the option "leave a copy on the server?" and if he chose to do so all the email should still be there.
posted by dobbs at 5:48 PM on January 14, 2022
I have an inside line to account recovery at Google: check your memail!
posted by lasagnaboy at 5:49 PM on January 14, 2022 [22 favorites]
posted by lasagnaboy at 5:49 PM on January 14, 2022 [22 favorites]
Response by poster: Man, I love you hive mind.
To answer Trig, he also had a Macbook Pro with an encrypted hard drive and an Android phone with a complicated login pattern. If anyone knows how to hack that mess, drop me a line.
You are all beautiful superstars. I was so upset about this, but the way all of you have jumped in to help has made me really happy, even if nothing comes of it, I'm so grateful you care.
My husband, former mefite Roll_Truck_Roll, would be so glad to see this, but ultimately not surprised. He knew this is where the good people on the Internet hang out.
posted by firemonkey at 6:04 PM on January 14, 2022 [38 favorites]
To answer Trig, he also had a Macbook Pro with an encrypted hard drive and an Android phone with a complicated login pattern. If anyone knows how to hack that mess, drop me a line.
You are all beautiful superstars. I was so upset about this, but the way all of you have jumped in to help has made me really happy, even if nothing comes of it, I'm so grateful you care.
My husband, former mefite Roll_Truck_Roll, would be so glad to see this, but ultimately not surprised. He knew this is where the good people on the Internet hang out.
posted by firemonkey at 6:04 PM on January 14, 2022 [38 favorites]
Since you have access to the name.com domain, you may want to forward name@name.com to a new email account, This would allow you to at least get new mail to name@name.com until you can get the gmail account sorted.
posted by radio other at 6:08 PM on January 14, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by radio other at 6:08 PM on January 14, 2022 [5 favorites]
...and if name@name.com is his option for two factor, this might solve another problem or two.
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 6:35 PM on January 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 6:35 PM on January 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
My husband, former mefite Roll_Truck_Roll, would be so glad to see this,
Awww, he is missed. More good news is that there are MeFites in your area who may have those skills, even if they are not here in this thread. I have one or two ideas and I will reach out and direct them here.
posted by jessamyn at 7:27 PM on January 14, 2022 [7 favorites]
Awww, he is missed. More good news is that there are MeFites in your area who may have those skills, even if they are not here in this thread. I have one or two ideas and I will reach out and direct them here.
posted by jessamyn at 7:27 PM on January 14, 2022 [7 favorites]
First, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope mefi is able to ultimately help you out with this little tiny corner of the void he left.
Is his cell phone number still active? You might try to put his SIM in another phone and use two-factor authentication to get into his accounts, essentially running a benign version of a SIM swap scam. He seems like the kind of person who might have had a Yubikey or similar for 2FA as well.
I have to submit legal process to Google pretty regularly, and they are almost always glacially slow. I wouldn't see that as a red flag in itself.
posted by hollyholly at 9:07 PM on January 14, 2022
Is his cell phone number still active? You might try to put his SIM in another phone and use two-factor authentication to get into his accounts, essentially running a benign version of a SIM swap scam. He seems like the kind of person who might have had a Yubikey or similar for 2FA as well.
I have to submit legal process to Google pretty regularly, and they are almost always glacially slow. I wouldn't see that as a red flag in itself.
posted by hollyholly at 9:07 PM on January 14, 2022
The "auto response that says the email no longer exists"... is this a bounce message? Can you share it with us? For example, 5.2.2 indicates that the mailbox is full.
If the domain is still registered, and there are no issues with the Gmail account (which is an assumption since it cannot be accessed), then the issue exists somewhere in between. That in-between is handled by MX records, which live with the domain registrar. Since you have access to the domain at the registrar, you can point these MX records elsewhere in order to have mail delivered somewhere besides Google (e.g., iCloud+, Fastmail). While that won't get you access to mail already delivered to Gmail, you'll be able to receive anything sent in the future.
posted by Lil' Blue Goat at 9:15 PM on January 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
If the domain is still registered, and there are no issues with the Gmail account (which is an assumption since it cannot be accessed), then the issue exists somewhere in between. That in-between is handled by MX records, which live with the domain registrar. Since you have access to the domain at the registrar, you can point these MX records elsewhere in order to have mail delivered somewhere besides Google (e.g., iCloud+, Fastmail). While that won't get you access to mail already delivered to Gmail, you'll be able to receive anything sent in the future.
posted by Lil' Blue Goat at 9:15 PM on January 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
Not sure if this is helpful, but just in case, I found this thread where he had asked about email forwarding. Is there a 3rd party involved in the forwarding that may need to be renewed?
So sorry for your loss. :(
I keep thinking about how this digital life I have might affect my spouse when I'm gone. I need to leave good notes.
posted by hydra77 at 12:46 AM on January 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
So sorry for your loss. :(
I keep thinking about how this digital life I have might affect my spouse when I'm gone. I need to leave good notes.
posted by hydra77 at 12:46 AM on January 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
I have given family instructions how to recover my accounts using one-time secrets. You can log in to reset access with a new password -- are there any of these in his notebooks or secure filing-cabinet type paperwork?
posted by k3ninho at 3:10 AM on January 15, 2022
posted by k3ninho at 3:10 AM on January 15, 2022
One other possibility for why name@name.com doesn’t work, even though the domain is still registered - maybe his email is hosted elsewhere, and that account has expired or closed for some reason (e.g. lack of payment or the host itself closing down (Tuffmail closed at the end of 2021 for example)).
As Lil’ Blue Goat said, the domain’s MX records will indicate where email for the domain should be delivered to. Good luck!
posted by fabius at 5:18 AM on January 15, 2022
As Lil’ Blue Goat said, the domain’s MX records will indicate where email for the domain should be delivered to. Good luck!
posted by fabius at 5:18 AM on January 15, 2022
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Also in terms of the forwarding, if the domain expired then the forwarding would no longer work. Can you explain what you mean by saying his gmail "Still works." Do you mean that the emails to that address don't bounce (and they do to his domain) or something else?
When my parents died, I was able to find random machines that they were still logged in to and work backwards from there to gaining access to their accounts. Is that an option for you? (I'm assuming now because if what you said but just wanted to be sure.
And I think three months is too long and I might resubmit with the gmail address.
I'd also maybe suggest the forums not because you'll be able to get ahold of staff more easily but because you may be able to talk to more people who have gone through this process. Here's the gmail help forum with a search for "deceased" so you can read how other people have been handling this and have been dealt with.
posted by jessamyn at 3:36 PM on January 14, 2022 [3 favorites]