How do I get rid of my deepseated anger for my mother?
March 18, 2006 6:37 AM Subscribe
So I'm still angry at my mother for some things she did during my childhood. I don't want to be anymore. What do I do?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (21 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
My parents went through a rough time in their relationship when I was ~14, and my mother basically asked me at one point to choose between my happiness (no divorce) or her happiness (divorce). I chose no divorce.
Fast forward nearly 10 years later. I'm a bit more grown up, things have gotten much better between the two of them (Fortunately, they did and do love eachother very much). In my head, I've forgiven her, and understand that she was in a terrible spot in her life and made some mistakes.
However, some part of me is still extremely angry with her. I'm a pretty stable, laid back person, but I can see myself flaring up at her without justification. She's controlling, but not maliciously so, and she's just trying to be my mom, and yet I get angry with her almost every time I see her.
So. Where do I go from here? Do I need private counseling? Do I need to bring both of us to a counselor? How do I bring this up to her? How do I bring this up to her without letting my father know? (He got angry enough at her for the stuff he heard her say to me when I was young. I'd rather not do anything that would set him in any way against her, particularly at a time when her own guilt will probably be difficult enough for her)