Do we talk about it?

June 20, 2020 10:45 PM

We donated to a community land trust the house we owned outright. It will be affordable forever. Are we supposed to tell people when it comes up or keep this to ourselves? Why or why not?

I was taught to NEVER tell people how much money you have. EVER. And really I'd rather just forget about it and move on with my life. But I suspect that there's some sort of good reason to be open about it. Like acknowledging systemic inequality. Is there?

posted by anonymous to Human Relations (13 answers total)

Encouraging other people to do it. It depends who you're talking to and how they'll take it. If they are homeowners, though, I think it's worth getting this on their radar as a thing that exists.
posted by Lady Li at 10:54 PM on June 20, 2020 [4 favorites]

I think it really depends on the context and the people you are talking to.

If you have close friends who already know you got an inheritance and wonder how you used the money, telling them what you decided is fine.

If you are talking to people who might be a position to make a similar type of donation, then letting them know about what you did opens them to the a possibility that they might not have known about and let them know that people like them (aka you) have done this

You can also talk with others about the existence of the community land trust and how much you value their work without getting into the details of your own donation.

At the same time, if it were me, I wouldn't want to be perceived as bragging to people who don't get to have the privilege of having that kind of extra money to do something with and I also wanted want to be virtue signaling (look how great I am for making this donation) so you have this internet's stranger not to talk about it if you feel like it would be negatively perceived by the other person.

Finally, for me, if you do want to talk about it, you can get around the "don't tell people how much money you have" rule by (1) be humble - this was inheritance, something that you were fortunate/lucky to receive (so it wasn't really your money) and (2) don't mention the actual numbers
posted by metahawk at 11:12 PM on June 20, 2020 [6 favorites]

This is the kind of thing that should be talked about in small groups consisting solely of people who are (or who are on their way to being) in a position to do something similar. If we can't get rid of wealth inequity, the next best thing is to apply peer pressure to return wealth to the community.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 12:51 AM on June 21, 2020 [12 favorites]

The social injunction on talking about money is part of how we collectively agree not to talk about wealth and income inequality, which is in turn part of how the system maintains itself. Find ways to talk about it with people you might influence to think differently, which could be almost anyone. What are you getting out of it? How does it align with your values? Talk about how it reflects those values and why it's meaningful to you. Not everyone can make that level of economic contribution but everyone has values they want to demonstrate in their actions, and talking about your process can be an opportunity for connection and influence.
posted by spindrifter at 4:53 AM on June 21, 2020 [14 favorites]

Consider that not disclosing salaries only helps employers, and hurts workers, especially women and people of color. Likewise, hiding wealth (or trying to ignore it, or pretend like like we are not as wealthy as we are) only helps the rich, and hurts the poor, who are disproportionately women and people of color.

“Do NOT talk about money” can be seen as self-serving rich people talk. You might benefit from examining where you got that notion from, why, and what its real effects are.
posted by SaltySalticid at 6:40 AM on June 21, 2020 [10 favorites]

I think telling family and friends that you are involved with a charitable program is good. It may give them ideas about how they can do something similar. A lot of charity is done in public through fundraising events and personal connections. If you use social media at all, you could put a link on one of your pages.

I like a lot of what metahawk said and I think talking about amounts of money is better avoided; it could be alienating but also, it may make people feel that there's no point trying to participate with their smaller resources. Telling people you did it with inherited money, ditto. Especially right now when jobs are on the line along with child care and education; your friends may be hurting in ways they are not sharing with you right now and the idea that you can give away large sums could be difficult.
posted by BibiRose at 7:05 AM on June 21, 2020

O.P., you are my favorite person on the internet today.
Please do tell people about your donation to a Community Land Trust! It's certainly possible to do so without appearing boastful. Not nearly enough people are aware of the existence of CLTs; one the best tools to "even the playing field," if you will.
hell, if it were me, I couldn't find a megaphone big enough...
posted by BostonTerrier at 7:58 AM on June 21, 2020 [5 favorites]

I totally agree that not talking about our giving props up wealth inequality. I’m not going to feel bad for making people with money feel bad that they aren’t giving it away. I want to be one of the voices normalizing giving away what we can.

Do I think it’s bragging to our less well off friends? I think they already know that a technology manager and a doctor with no kids are probably doing just fine on their incomes. They probably already know that my spouse comes from a family that can give large inheritances.

I didn’t know about community land trusts until you posted this, and now I’d like to figure out if it works with our plans. So yeah, I say tell everyone.
posted by advicepig at 8:17 AM on June 21, 2020 [6 favorites]

I didn’t know this was thing until your post, so thanks for talking about it here! I think there’s potential benefit in spreading the idea, and you can talk about it without bragging about the security that enables your generosity.
posted by janell at 12:01 PM on June 21, 2020 [4 favorites]

Woah, same, this is not a thing I’ve heard of before and I want to know more. It would be totally understandable if you want to do it anonymously, but I think doing blog posts, contributing to interviews or articles, or otherwise publicly existing as a statistic of someone who did this cool thing would be a good thing.
posted by Secretariat at 12:52 PM on June 21, 2020 [2 favorites]

I'm associated with a CLT and I'd say please talk about it! I'm guessing a lot of your social contacts come from your precise socio-economic sphere. They probably don't know what a CLT is and I would hope your contribution would spur some thinking, or better still, conversation about the need for privileged people to help remove residential land from the speculative market in this way.
posted by kensington314 at 2:03 PM on June 21, 2020 [1 favorite]

I had never heard of a Community Land Trust, and I think you could do a real service by talking about them without ever mentioning your donation.

As far as being public about your resources is concerned, even the enlightened crew here at Metafilter has a strong "Eat The Rich" faction. Keeping your head down is a reasonable approach.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 4:47 PM on June 21, 2020 [1 favorite]

There is and should be a marked difference between telling people you did it with the hope that they might do the same or would know people who would do the same, and telling people you did it out of some sense of ego or for what benefit their knowledge of your doing it might bring you.

Ive been land/housing trust curious for several years and if it came up id love to hear about your experience - you arent suggesting you go around just saying "hi im anonymous and i dontated my house to a landtrust, nicetomeetyou?" are you?
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 4:54 AM on June 22, 2020