I want and need to have more integrity with myself.
I have a hard time sticking to my decisions and values, especially when it's about my work. I am loyal to my friends, but not to myself. I accuse a lot of external factors for being responsible of my inaction and failures. I am in a victimization mode. (ugh)
FWIW I'm in a creative field, and sticking to your choices is pretty important... otherwise it is not your work anymore... I can't do good work, be credible and reliable if I change everything as soon as someone tells me so. And I can't get better in what I am doing if I don't take responsibility, if I don't own my choices.
My values and commitments don't change when I relate to my peers, but seem to vanish when I have to do a project (whether said work is for me, for a client or for an assignment).
I am a bit at a loss to understand how to tackle the problem, so here's my question : if you've had issues with integrity with yourself, how did you improve? What did you learned, discovered that helped you change? If you have book recommendations I am interested as well.
I've read this
post, and while it resonated a lot with what I'm looking for it doesn't answer the question on *how* to have more integrity.
Thank you in advance !