What is the adult version of "Let's be friends"?
February 9, 2006 5:37 PM Subscribe
What's the adult version of "Let's be friends"?
posted by questionmark to human relations (33 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
This may sound like a very naive question to some people, but I'm truly clueless about this, and have mentioned it to a few others who admitted they didn't know either. The problem is not about meeting people, it's what comes afterwards.
As I understand it, most of us make friends in workplaces and educational establishments, or at least in locations that you frequent regularly, say a pub or a bar. What happens is generally that you talk to the person over several days or weeks, and if you get on, you invite each other out to an activity or two, and then if you still get on, you are friends, without it needing to be explicitly stated as such.
But what about those one-off moments when you meet a stranger you like, but if you don't say anything you probably won't see the person ever again?
Say you're at a concert. You strike up a casual conversation with a stranger. You find that you like that person, and would like to see that person again after the concert, and maybe become friends with that person.
If you ask the person out for an activity, it may very well be interpreted as actually "asking the person out", as in romantic/sexual, not just friendly. Saying "I like you. We should be friends/do stuff together sometime" is leaving a huge opening for rejection, and would put the other person on the spot and make it very awkward for him or her to say no, if he or she never had any wish to have any more contact with you.
I'm not sure I'm articulating the question very well, but basically I'm looking for the best way to offer friendship without making the other person uncomfortable or having the gesture misinterpreted. The answer is most probably obvious, if so please, humour me and enlighten me. Is there some kind of adult secret code that I'm not aware of?