Snark for dinner

May 29, 2015 11:37 AM

I love snarky restaurant reviews. Classic example. Another. Give me your favourites.
posted by quaking fajita to Food & Drink (15 answers total)

Pete Wells had field day with Javelina (previously)
posted by mochapickle at 11:42 AM on May 29, 2015 [8 favorites]

Beat me to it, mochapickle.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:45 AM on May 29, 2015

Best answer: Seymour Britchky's stuff was often priceless. I read the full review of Mamma Leone's when I was a kid (excerpt in that link) and nearly died laughing. I think you can only get his stuff in books, though, not online.
posted by holborne at 11:46 AM on May 29, 2015

Best answer: Apparently eater.com has been compiling the best-ofs for a few years now: 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

and yeah these are a hoot to read, there goes my afternoon
posted by JoeZydeco at 11:52 AM on May 29, 2015 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I love to read Jay Rayner of The Guardian, even when he's not snarky, but when he is it's really fun.

From Jay: why we love reading cruel restaurant reviews
posted by maggiemaggie at 12:25 PM on May 29, 2015 [4 favorites]

Best answer: My all-time favorite Jay Rayner review features in the eater.com best of 2014:

The Beast
posted by maggiemaggie at 12:27 PM on May 29, 2015 [3 favorites]

There's the Best Restaurant in New York/the World series by Caity Weaver and Rich Juzwiak over at Gawker.
posted by yasaman at 12:57 PM on May 29, 2015 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Bon Appetit has a list of 'zero-star' reviews with some highlights. (I personally used A. A. Gill's reviews to get me through an awful office job.)
posted by cobaltnine at 1:06 PM on May 29, 2015

Related to the first, you've seen this, right?
posted by a halcyon day at 1:14 PM on May 29, 2015

Best answer: Yelping warriors and rocks in the broth
posted by lalochezia at 1:21 PM on May 29, 2015 [1 favorite]

Best answer: A. A. Gill, for sure.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 3:13 PM on May 29, 2015 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Jay Rayner is superb. His review of Bubba Gump Shrimp Co is a fun one.

In an attempt to show willing, we order Forrest’s Seafood Feast, which is “No 1 Guests Favorite”. Yes, of course it’s spelt like that. The item pictured is a red metal contraption holding four paper cones. One has breaded shrimp, the next fried battered fish, and the third “hush pups” which are deep-fried tumours of fish with sweetcorn. Our waiter is moved (or trained) to tell us that the cones aren’t full of these items. They are laid on top of chips. Lots of chips.

I admire the honesty. Like everything else here it isn’t cheap. At £15.50 is it too much to hope the chips will be cooked? There is half a field of flaccid potato on the table. The deep-fried items taste of all hope lost. Next to them are dipping sauces made with so much emulsifier your own bodily fluids start to bind with the dish. We have a dessert sampler of various sugared carbohydrates alongside cream from a can. I expect a “cease and desist” letter from my pancreas any day soon.

posted by standardasparagus at 3:51 PM on May 29, 2015 [7 favorites]

Not exactly a review, but on the theme of Guy Fieri, I really enjoyed this menu.
posted by reeddavid at 4:02 PM on May 29, 2015 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Oh yes, nthing Jay Rayner. You can find the best of his worst dining out reviews right here in a cheap slim tome that is deliciously worth it.
posted by Kitteh at 5:46 PM on May 29, 2015

If you're still looking: Kappo Masa was the first to take NYC by storm after Guy Fieri and make mainstream "news".

Oddly enough I went there and was disappointed to find it as just an over priced and underwhelming sushi joint-not an epic fail.
posted by TravellingCari at 7:12 PM on July 28, 2015