i'm so tired of chicken
April 8, 2015 3:19 PM Subscribe
I need the least disgusting protein powder available with a few limitations.
I need a protein powder that is not totally grotendous. It doesn't have to be vegan but it must be dairy-free. This is not a personal preference, this is a violently horrible lactose intolerance issue. Please keep the potential for horrific geysers of shit in mind when recommending something that you think might have "just a little whey".
Aside from that I really don't like how you can still taste pea protein 6 hours later, so I guess I'm limited to egg white and soy, unless there is something else I'm forgetting that isn't as relentlessly awful as pea. (Possible complication: I have GERD which is apparently adversely affected by pulses. So no lentil-based powder, should such a godawful thing exist.)
I need a protein powder that is not totally grotendous. It doesn't have to be vegan but it must be dairy-free. This is not a personal preference, this is a violently horrible lactose intolerance issue. Please keep the potential for horrific geysers of shit in mind when recommending something that you think might have "just a little whey".
Aside from that I really don't like how you can still taste pea protein 6 hours later, so I guess I'm limited to egg white and soy, unless there is something else I'm forgetting that isn't as relentlessly awful as pea. (Possible complication: I have GERD which is apparently adversely affected by pulses. So no lentil-based powder, should such a godawful thing exist.)
I used Solgar Iso-Soy for a while. The usual thing was a smoothy made from a banana, frozen strawberries, and OJ. The powder is bland, though lightly flavored.
Some soy products are constipating, but I didn't have that trouble.
posted by SemiSalt at 3:53 PM on April 8, 2015
Some soy products are constipating, but I didn't have that trouble.
posted by SemiSalt at 3:53 PM on April 8, 2015
Vega protein powder might work for you. It's a vegan blend of pea, hemp, flax and saviseed protein. It's sweetened with stevia, which you may or may not enjoy (it's very sweet). It's my favorite of the powders I've tried, but the downside is that it's quite expensive.
They have different blends - vega one (with all sorts of greens & supplements added), protein smoothie (the plainest version) and protein & greens. Whole Foods sells single serving packets of all of the varieties in all flavors, so you can try out a few to see which you like best before getting a better price for a big tub on amazon.
Whole Foods house brand soy protein powder is good too, and much cheaper.
I can't imagine enjoying any protein powder without the addition of a frozen banana, some peanut butter (almond for you, given the pulses issue), almond milk and unsweetened cocoa powder (to cut through the stevia). That may totally undermine your nutrition plan if you're eating it for serious sports reasons, but if you're just concerned about getting a little more protein into your diet, an elaborate smoothie is the way to go.
posted by snaw at 4:00 PM on April 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
They have different blends - vega one (with all sorts of greens & supplements added), protein smoothie (the plainest version) and protein & greens. Whole Foods sells single serving packets of all of the varieties in all flavors, so you can try out a few to see which you like best before getting a better price for a big tub on amazon.
Whole Foods house brand soy protein powder is good too, and much cheaper.
I can't imagine enjoying any protein powder without the addition of a frozen banana, some peanut butter (almond for you, given the pulses issue), almond milk and unsweetened cocoa powder (to cut through the stevia). That may totally undermine your nutrition plan if you're eating it for serious sports reasons, but if you're just concerned about getting a little more protein into your diet, an elaborate smoothie is the way to go.
posted by snaw at 4:00 PM on April 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I've been using MRM All Natural Egg White Protein for ages and it's pretty good as protein powders go.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 4:02 PM on April 8, 2015
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 4:02 PM on April 8, 2015
I've used hemp protein before and it didn't have a weird after taste. I ordered it off Amazon and from what I recall, it was reasonable compared to other protein powders.
posted by ACN09 at 4:02 PM on April 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by ACN09 at 4:02 PM on April 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
I bookmarked this vegan protein powder review post by Kathy Patalsky a while back that might help you out; she wrote a book on vegan smoothies and her roundup is pretty comprehensive.
posted by bcwinters at 4:24 PM on April 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by bcwinters at 4:24 PM on April 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
Best answer: How do you take your protein powder? I usually take mine in yogurt or milk which ameliorates a lot of grottiness, but obviously that's a no go for you. I, too, use the MRM Egg Protein powder. It mixes in pretty creamy even with water. The chocolate is pretty sweet, so I usually put something salty in with it like almond butter. I've mixed the vanilla with orange juice before and got kind of a creamsicle going.
I tried all the ones at Whole Foods, and they all made me gag or were super sweet or contained whey. I'm only a 1-2x a week protein powder consumer, so I'm not sure if you get tired of the taste if you drink it every day? You could try having a few flavors/kinds on hand to switch it up.
posted by bluefly at 5:23 PM on April 8, 2015
I tried all the ones at Whole Foods, and they all made me gag or were super sweet or contained whey. I'm only a 1-2x a week protein powder consumer, so I'm not sure if you get tired of the taste if you drink it every day? You could try having a few flavors/kinds on hand to switch it up.
posted by bluefly at 5:23 PM on April 8, 2015
Response by poster: Right now I'm doing water + powder + banana chunks + mix frozen berry, plus a tbsp or two of flax/hemp/pumpkin seed butter but sometimes I just eat that right off the spoon because it's right there and it's so good.
i'm literally just tired of chewing, that's the whole thing. it's not a meal replacement, it's just the easiest way to get more protein into me in addition to the 3-4 meals i'm having per day. also meat is expensive and i am so tired of eggs. i'm like 5 minutes away from just drinking them raw and i can't be that person, i won't allow it.
posted by poffin boffin at 5:30 PM on April 8, 2015 [3 favorites]
i'm literally just tired of chewing, that's the whole thing. it's not a meal replacement, it's just the easiest way to get more protein into me in addition to the 3-4 meals i'm having per day. also meat is expensive and i am so tired of eggs. i'm like 5 minutes away from just drinking them raw and i can't be that person, i won't allow it.
posted by poffin boffin at 5:30 PM on April 8, 2015 [3 favorites]
I've been using "True Nutrition Vegan Protein Optimizer" lately. It's a blend of pea/hemp/rice proteins.
It has a bit of a "toasty" flavor. I've been using it a while. You can add custom flavorings as well.
posted by sarah_pdx at 6:56 PM on April 8, 2015
It has a bit of a "toasty" flavor. I've been using it a while. You can add custom flavorings as well.
posted by sarah_pdx at 6:56 PM on April 8, 2015
I'm guessing cricket flour is off the table.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 7:33 PM on April 8, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Mister Moofoo at 7:33 PM on April 8, 2015 [6 favorites]
Response by poster: you are history's greatest monster
posted by poffin boffin at 8:33 PM on April 8, 2015 [12 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 8:33 PM on April 8, 2015 [12 favorites]
If you go with cricket flour, given you want to put it in a shake make sure you go for a brand that isn't mixing the cricket powder with regular wheat flour. Some of them do that to keep the price lower and because they assume you're primarily interested in baking with it. Personally, having had cricket flour cookies I think crickets taste delicious--they add a pleasant nuttiness to cookies--and would totally eat them always if I needed to get more protein in my diet on a regular basis. This is probably the best version for your needs. It's more than a bit spendy right now, though, and if you have shellfish allergies they might be triggered by cricket.
Goddammit, I could use way more protein in my diet and eating is irritatingly hard right now.... now I'm going to be staring at cricket flour packets again all day. I hope people get farming them in large quantities down soon so the flour is less expensive. D:
posted by sciatrix at 8:35 PM on April 8, 2015
Goddammit, I could use way more protein in my diet and eating is irritatingly hard right now.... now I'm going to be staring at cricket flour packets again all day. I hope people get farming them in large quantities down soon so the flour is less expensive. D:
posted by sciatrix at 8:35 PM on April 8, 2015
Seriously though, I learned to hate protein bars growing up and I've still never found one I didn't think was gross, but cricket flour legit tastes good. I swear. If you can afford it and if you don't think it's too unspeakably gross, maybe give it a shot?
...I promise I will stop evangelizing for tasty bugs now.
posted by sciatrix at 8:39 PM on April 8, 2015
...I promise I will stop evangelizing for tasty bugs now.
posted by sciatrix at 8:39 PM on April 8, 2015
Response by poster: NO BUGS NO PEAS NO WHEY carry on
posted by poffin boffin at 8:44 PM on April 8, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 8:44 PM on April 8, 2015 [10 favorites]
It's not quite a powder, but have you tried hemp hearts? They're an easy way to boost protein and omega 3's in smoothies. Yes, there may be some chewing. I get tired of excessive chewing too, and find the hemp hearts very tolerable.
posted by oxisos at 9:16 PM on April 8, 2015
posted by oxisos at 9:16 PM on April 8, 2015
This stuff is great! A little ice, water, frozen berries and chia seeds blended up is my morning go to. Jay Robb Egg White Protein Powder
posted by WalkingHorse at 8:09 AM on April 9, 2015
posted by WalkingHorse at 8:09 AM on April 9, 2015
Response by poster: Idk why I failed to mention that the ones I have already tried are:
- orgain
- warrior blend
- sprout living
Orgain was the least terrible of them but still terrible. Also I tried a soy thing but idk which one it was, there were no terrible GI side effects like with the pea stuff but it had a kind of bitter aftertaste.
posted by poffin boffin at 8:15 AM on April 9, 2015
- orgain
- warrior blend
- sprout living
Orgain was the least terrible of them but still terrible. Also I tried a soy thing but idk which one it was, there were no terrible GI side effects like with the pea stuff but it had a kind of bitter aftertaste.
posted by poffin boffin at 8:15 AM on April 9, 2015
If whey protein isolate has been ion-exchanged and microfilteres, well it IS lactose free.
This stuff, which i used to use, has been ANALYZED as lactose free. It's basically flavorless.
If these powders give you the shits: You may have the shits from something else (some other protein component of whey derived products?) 'cos the amount of lactose is negligible verging on undetectable.
posted by lalochezia at 3:14 PM on April 9, 2015
This stuff, which i used to use, has been ANALYZED as lactose free. It's basically flavorless.
If these powders give you the shits: You may have the shits from something else (some other protein component of whey derived products?) 'cos the amount of lactose is negligible verging on undetectable.
posted by lalochezia at 3:14 PM on April 9, 2015
I am violently lactose intolerant. I am also able to completely tolerate the Isopure powder that lalochezia just recommended. (YMMV.)
I drink the chocolate flavor every morning. I find the powder with just water to actually be too sweet for my taste. My recipe is 2 scoops of powder, 9 oz water, 10 small ice cubes and 1 teaspoon of almond butter into the Blendtec.
Regardless of what powder you end up choosing, I strongly advocate for a bit of nut butter of some sort. It’s made the Isopure, the Vega and the PlantFusion all taste generally less gross.
posted by bronwensaurus at 4:56 PM on April 9, 2015
I drink the chocolate flavor every morning. I find the powder with just water to actually be too sweet for my taste. My recipe is 2 scoops of powder, 9 oz water, 10 small ice cubes and 1 teaspoon of almond butter into the Blendtec.
Regardless of what powder you end up choosing, I strongly advocate for a bit of nut butter of some sort. It’s made the Isopure, the Vega and the PlantFusion all taste generally less gross.
posted by bronwensaurus at 4:56 PM on April 9, 2015
Response by poster: I ended up getting the MRM egg white stuff in chocolate and vanilla and yeah, it is a bit sweeter than I'd like but overall it's about 10,000 times better than everything else I tried: no vile aftertaste, no vile GI effects, no burps that smell like farts, thanks pea protein i really enjoyed that.
Still not getting whey, sorry whey evangelists.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:07 PM on April 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
Still not getting whey, sorry whey evangelists.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:07 PM on April 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
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Trader Joe's also sells hemp protein powder, but at about 150 grams of protein for $10, the tempeh is a better deal per gram of protein. I prefer the vanilla hemp flavour to the chocolate flavour.
posted by GregorWill at 3:42 PM on April 8, 2015 [2 favorites]