These meows are breaking my heart.

December 11, 2014 4:23 PM

World's most frightened scaredy-(stray?)-cat hangs outside our front door and meows constantly, yet bolts at the slightest movement towards him. My heart is aching for this little kitty--what can we do?

There has been an inexplicable influx of cats showing up in our neighborhood, and I'm troubled by one in particular. Fluffy white cat (no collar but I suspect it's not feral...not to be a cat-racist or anything, it just looks like it was someone's baby at one point but has had some hard times on the street) first showed up as the sidekick of another seemingly-stray cat (a little orange young'un that is particularly cute and friendly and has therefore been fed and tended to by several people in this apartment complex--I know the girls in one unit let that cat even into sleep with them). We leave dry food out from time to time and we even recently set up a little bed in the form of a box and cozy blanket on our (second-floor) porch. The orange cat was the only one who ever actually got in it.

Sooo it's been rainy, and this fluffy white cat showed up on our porch a day or two ago without his friend/advisor, the confident, congenial orange kitty. And this cat (he? she?) is like "meow-meow-meowww-meow-meow-meow"...this cat sounds like he/she is trying to have a full-on conversation with someone in cat-language. Today it's been at it for hours--I've never in my life heard a cat meow for so long. It's not yowling, so don't THINK it's a mating thing...it sounds more like pleading (is it in pain??) but maybe my hyper-sympathy is projecting.

We have an indoor kitty of our own that sits in the window lots, so maybe it's lonely for a friend?? But I've seen this cat get super-skittish around other cats (as much as it follow around orange kitty, if orange kitty gets too close, the white cat hisses and runs off). I put out a special little dish of wet food for white kitty today, and tried to get a little closer...anytime I even inched closer, the cat seriously flinched (again, it broke my heart because I could only guess that some awful person did a total number on this cat??)

I guess my main questions are: Do you think this cat sounds like a stray? Does he sound lost? Should we put up "Found Cat" signs? Should we keep feeding it and providing shelter, at the risk of other strays showing up? (They ARE lurking.) Should I close the blinds so our own indoor cat will be less tortured by its presence? I love cats but don't know a ton about them and want to do the right thing. Thank you in advance for any advice you can provide.

posted by lovableiago to Pets & Animals (17 answers total)

It sounds like a stray. I'd see if your local humane society allows people to borrow Havahart traps (humane live traps), trap it, and bring it in - long or medium haired cats suffer more as ferals because the coat gets matted and awful, to the point where there are open sores, and the animal's movement is restricted.

Hopefully, if the animal has an owner, having the local humane society call them from the microchip information will be some kind of incentive to keep their pet indoors.

And yes, close your blinds. Other cats are stressful to indoor cats because they feel like their territory's being violated but can't correct the issue or interact with the other cats as they normally would.
posted by Nyx at 4:44 PM on December 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

Feed white cat. Keep him separated from your cat. Take white cat to the vet. If he won't pass on any diseases to your cat, give the white cat a name and enjoy your new family member! Congratulations!!

This advice is not valid w/out pictures. This is AskMe protocol. Thank you.
posted by jbenben at 4:45 PM on December 11, 2014 [19 favorites]

The vet will check for a chip at your appointment.
posted by jbenben at 4:46 PM on December 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

Maybe Timmy fell into the well. Seriously, I have to wonder if it isn't trying to tell you the little orange friend is in trouble and wants you to follow it to where the kitty is in distress.
posted by goml at 4:55 PM on December 11, 2014 [3 favorites]

I agree with Nyx about trapping the cat in a humane trap (since the cat is too skittish for you to approach). I would hesitate to bring her to your local animal shelter, though, because animal shelters are typically over-crowded, and your cat might get euthanized (this is especially likely if the cat is not very friendly). Better to take the cat to a vet -- and then adopt the cat yourself, if the owner can't be found. There is information about trapping here.
posted by alex1965 at 5:08 PM on December 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

If there's a good cat rescue organization in your area, they will be able to help you trap and hopefully care for the cat, or perhaps find it a foster home.
posted by you're a kitty! at 5:24 PM on December 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

Are you sure the cat is not feral? His / her level of fear around you makes me wonder if the cat did not grow up around people.

The best approach depends on what you want. If you want a second cat, just start providing a food source, and soon enough, you'll have a fluffy white cat. (If not, stop feeding the cat!) I wouldn't try to inch closer. I'd communicate that you're non-harmful by letting the new cat sneak up to you on his/her own terms. Just put food nearby or bring it out when you see him / her.

Eventually, do take him / her to the vet to be dewormed, vaccinated, and checked for a tag. You might want to get a flea treatment and tests for FIV and FeLV done before bringing the cat around your other kitty (though I probably wouldn't manage to be so conscientious myself).

My guess is that the cat is hungry and is crying to get permission to come inside. The last two strays we adopted out to others cried like this when they thought we might let them in but weren't sure yet. They either wanted food or petting. When stray cats talk to me, I usually talk back and say things like "well, why don't you just come on in and have some food then??" I think cats understand what we're saying better than we understand them. But I'm also not sure you need to communicate. (Our younger cat is usually trying to tell us that we have insects all over the wall, no matter how often we try to explain stucco and drywall texture.)

If you have an indoor cat, your chief challenge may be either converting this cat to an indoor lifestyle or letting him/her in and out without letting your other cat go in and out. You may end up wanting to adopt this cat out to someone else.
posted by slidell at 5:26 PM on December 11, 2014 [3 favorites]

Eventually, do take him / her to the vet to be dewormed, vaccinated, and checked for a tag.

Agree, but would add, please please spray or neuter!
posted by treehorn+bunny at 5:28 PM on December 11, 2014 [3 favorites]

Slidell, feral cats rarely meow, so this cat is probably not feral.
posted by alex1965 at 5:36 PM on December 11, 2014 [6 favorites]

Response by poster: FWIW, I think my hesitation to call it feral is that it showed up out of nowhere, I live in a residential but fairly densely populated area. If it's feral doesn't it start as a feral kitten wandering around? In actuality maybe I don't know what "feral" means exactly... And I do think this is an important distinction, because I am afraid of taking someone's lost cat (thinking it's feral) to the SPCA with good intentions, and inadvertently getting it euthanized. These are great, very helpful suggestions so far, so thank you--I will look out for additional thoughts anyone has, and will also keep an eye on the kitty in question to see if it chills out at all when the weather calms down. Definitely some good options to consider here.
posted by lovableiago at 6:05 PM on December 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

just another data point: my experience has shown that some ferals *do* meow. a lot, in fact. my house had a family of ferals when i moved in five years ago, and several of them are/were very vocal. two of them would leave my yard during the day and when they returned at night, would meow loudly to announce their return. they also meow (excitedly? with gratitude?) when i bring them food, and so do ferals in another colony i take care of.
posted by hollisimo at 6:07 PM on December 11, 2014 [3 favorites]

I would try to get a humane trap. In the meantime, keep feeding him, but don't try to approach him. If he's not feral, he's more likely to trust you and allow contact if he sets the pace. I took over feeding a feral colony in March, and none of them would let me pet them for the first couple of weeks, but now two of them love being petted. The two most feral, who have never let me touch them, are the most vocal. One just sits and yells at me until I put out the food.
posted by Mavri at 6:08 PM on December 11, 2014 [3 favorites]

One of my cats started out as a stray. I asked about him a while back; you might find some of those answers helpful, particularly the advice on how to win a skittish cat's trust. Skittishness isn't necessarily a sign of past trauma; it's just how some cats are. Some eventually relax a lot, some decide to trust a select few, and some stay skittish for life.

I knew our cat was a stray because he was skinny and obsessed with food (even more so than the typical cat), he got scrapes and infected-looking skin weirdnesses from time to time, and his white paws were always dingy and gray. He looked well at first glance, but once I got familiar with him, it became clear he wasn't cared for. If your kitty visitor has a solid build and glossy, clean fur, he probably has a home.

Ask your neighbors, if you haven't already. There have been a couple times when I've run into cats who seemed lost and lonely, only to discover they belonged to someone living nearby and just wanted attention. Even if you don't find an owner, you might get more information about the cat's backstory, like "oh, he's been coming by for years" or "the person who lived over there used to feed him or "I see the orange one but I haven't seen the white one."

The difference between "stray" and "feral," in a nutshell, is that feral cats haven't been socialized to interact with humans, and live completely independently of them. Feral cats usually, but not always, steer clear of people.

Good luck; he (or she) sounds like a sweetie.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:09 PM on December 11, 2014 [3 favorites]

I fed a feral cat for years and was never able to get closer than a couple of feet to it. I got her an outdoor heating pad - she slept on our porch under a chair cover. She had been spayed, but she was definitely not owned. I figure I bought her 2 - 3 extra years of outdoor life. One day, she showed up blinded in one eye. A month later, she vanished. I couldn't tame her, but I made her life a little less harsh.

The most important thing is, if you start feeding a feral cat, you have to do it consistently. Whether you tame it or not, you can make a difference.
posted by clarkstonian at 7:31 PM on December 11, 2014 [7 favorites]

Sounds like a stray. Even a chill house at can get very skittish out doors.

Cats have a window of 8-12 weeks from birth to get used to people. If the cat isn't tame by then, taming is at best (and only with some cats) a years long, laborious process. That is a feral cat.

A stray had a home and was used to people. But being outside is very stressful for a cat if they aren't used to it, and it can be very hard to cope. So a stray cat can be very worried by people too.
posted by wotsac at 11:08 PM on December 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

For what it's worth, I've got a one time feral cat sitting on my lap demanding pets. He's pretty special.
posted by wotsac at 11:11 PM on December 11, 2014 [7 favorites]

That much meowing is likely to mean a female cat in heat. They're quite impressive vocalizers, and most responsible cat owners never experience this sound. (Not to contradict any of the advice above, just context.)
posted by acm at 9:20 AM on December 12, 2014