Am I struggling with a form of OCD or is it something else?
December 5, 2014 10:29 AM Subscribe
I have this inclination to schedule things "to do" (wake up, work, play, go to sleep, etc.) and if I don't execute said thing during its's scheduled time period (say, waking up at 8:00am), it throws my entire day off and I feel like I can't do anything else. It's affecting my work habits in a very negative way.
I also have a weird issue with setting my alarms for 5 minutes before I want them to go off. So if I want to wake up at 8:00am, I'll set my alarm for 7:55am. Along with that, I can only set my alarm at specific times, for example, times during 7am would be... 7:15, 7:25, :7:35, 7:45 and 7:55 (never 7:05 for some reason).
This hasn't always been a part of my life. I never remember doing any of this when I was younger. I am 30 now and can confidently say this has only been happening for the past 10 years of my life or so.
Does anybody else struggle with things like this? How can I move past the feeling of constant disappointment when I don't meet my scheduled goals?
I also have a weird issue with setting my alarms for 5 minutes before I want them to go off. So if I want to wake up at 8:00am, I'll set my alarm for 7:55am. Along with that, I can only set my alarm at specific times, for example, times during 7am would be... 7:15, 7:25, :7:35, 7:45 and 7:55 (never 7:05 for some reason).
This hasn't always been a part of my life. I never remember doing any of this when I was younger. I am 30 now and can confidently say this has only been happening for the past 10 years of my life or so.
Does anybody else struggle with things like this? How can I move past the feeling of constant disappointment when I don't meet my scheduled goals?
Please read up on the difference between obsessive compulsive disorder and obsessive compulsive personality disorder. They are very different things. Obsessive compulsive disorder is the presence of unwanted, intrusive, mostly irrational thoughts, which are sometimes accompanied by compulsion(s) to do repetetive actions (not necessarily related in any way to the thought) to allay those thoughts. It's an anxiety disorder. Obsessive compulsive personality disorder is the need for perfection, perfect order, and rigid structure. People often (and understandably) confuse the two, but they aren't the same. The latter sounds more like what you're describing, and it may helpful to do some research on OCPD.
posted by ereshkigal45 at 10:56 AM on December 5, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by ereshkigal45 at 10:56 AM on December 5, 2014 [3 favorites]
Whatever name you put on it, if it's negatively affecting your life in a significant way, it's worth talking about it to someone with credentials who can get the full picture of what's going on. A therapist, psychiatrist, or even your primary care provider would all be good places to start.
posted by jaguar at 11:03 AM on December 5, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by jaguar at 11:03 AM on December 5, 2014 [2 favorites]
Therapy is the structured tool by which we help ourselves overcome dysfunctional behaviors - that is, behaviors that decrease our happiness and increase our distress in life.
You have a mindset/mental illness/behavioral habit/(whatever term you wish) that distracts your thoughts from the positive and present (OK, light turning red... I'll probably be late for a meeting, so no time for coffee... light green again) to something not useful to the moment (I woke up late, I woke up late, I hate it when I wake up late... ).
Therapists can help.
posted by IAmBroom at 12:11 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]
You have a mindset/mental illness/behavioral habit/(whatever term you wish) that distracts your thoughts from the positive and present (OK, light turning red... I'll probably be late for a meeting, so no time for coffee... light green again) to something not useful to the moment (I woke up late, I woke up late, I hate it when I wake up late... ).
Therapists can help.
posted by IAmBroom at 12:11 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]
It sounds to me that this is something which annoys you, and as you said affects your attitude at work. OCD, I believe, is something quite more disruptive than what you describe.
I had a time where I was concerned I may have OCD (or heading towards it) when I used to check behind every door in my apt before I could feel safe at home. I told myself one day that I was just being irrational, letting fear of the unknown control me, and that I was supporting an unhealthy habit. So I stopped. Felt uncomfortable the first few times I made myself stop, but after that I never did that again.
I believe you are becoming aware of a personality trait - you are a prompt guy. This is a great quality! You set your timers early so you can always allow for a buffer time. Great! But the problem I see is that you can't operate in a vacuum. So, if someone else sets you off course, or if your coworkers are late and you feel very annoyed by that, I can see that can become an unpleasant experience for you. And those around you if you show your extreme annoyance and frustration.
Here's my take: sounds to me you are experiencing some anxiety surrounding time / promptness and things getting in your way. You know it's a problem that you'd like to let go of a bit. Great start! I recommend the following: do some daily meditation, 5-10 mins per day to start. There are great apps to help you get started. Meditation is by far one of the most successful methods of handling anxiety.
I also recommend you get a paperback copy of the classic cognitive-behavioral therapy book: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. It looks boring and slightly a silly title, but the info is succinct and has helped me enormously over the years.
2 simple things to try and I think you'll feel better for it! Good luck to you.
posted by zettoo at 12:32 PM on December 5, 2014
I had a time where I was concerned I may have OCD (or heading towards it) when I used to check behind every door in my apt before I could feel safe at home. I told myself one day that I was just being irrational, letting fear of the unknown control me, and that I was supporting an unhealthy habit. So I stopped. Felt uncomfortable the first few times I made myself stop, but after that I never did that again.
I believe you are becoming aware of a personality trait - you are a prompt guy. This is a great quality! You set your timers early so you can always allow for a buffer time. Great! But the problem I see is that you can't operate in a vacuum. So, if someone else sets you off course, or if your coworkers are late and you feel very annoyed by that, I can see that can become an unpleasant experience for you. And those around you if you show your extreme annoyance and frustration.
Here's my take: sounds to me you are experiencing some anxiety surrounding time / promptness and things getting in your way. You know it's a problem that you'd like to let go of a bit. Great start! I recommend the following: do some daily meditation, 5-10 mins per day to start. There are great apps to help you get started. Meditation is by far one of the most successful methods of handling anxiety.
I also recommend you get a paperback copy of the classic cognitive-behavioral therapy book: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. It looks boring and slightly a silly title, but the info is succinct and has helped me enormously over the years.
2 simple things to try and I think you'll feel better for it! Good luck to you.
posted by zettoo at 12:32 PM on December 5, 2014
I do literally the same exact thing.
I haven't gotten over it, at all, but I have found a couple of things that are somewhat helpful. My therapist urged me to explicitly schedule down-time every day, during which I would avoid doing anything that requires a lot of mental effort or is connected to what I was already working on that day. (For example, "6pm-8pm, watch netflix".) I resisted for a while, but once I did the benefit was dramatic and immediate. (It has also helped me do better on whatever I'm working on -- we definitely need rest for optimum performance.)
You should also try to figure out to what extent this is bothering you. As some others pointed out, this probably isn't ocd, but it could definitely be anxiety, and if so you could benefit from meds.
Good luck! (I really mean it. ^^)
posted by myitkyina at 1:06 PM on December 5, 2014
I haven't gotten over it, at all, but I have found a couple of things that are somewhat helpful. My therapist urged me to explicitly schedule down-time every day, during which I would avoid doing anything that requires a lot of mental effort or is connected to what I was already working on that day. (For example, "6pm-8pm, watch netflix".) I resisted for a while, but once I did the benefit was dramatic and immediate. (It has also helped me do better on whatever I'm working on -- we definitely need rest for optimum performance.)
You should also try to figure out to what extent this is bothering you. As some others pointed out, this probably isn't ocd, but it could definitely be anxiety, and if so you could benefit from meds.
Good luck! (I really mean it. ^^)
posted by myitkyina at 1:06 PM on December 5, 2014
This thread is closed to new comments.
I do (not with the alarm thing, but with the "I was supposed to do thing x and I didn't do thing x and now I feel terrible"). I mostly find this to be, as they say, a feature, not a bug--the vast majority of the time, this results in me saying I will do thing x at time y and then doing thing x at time y, which is something I've noticed a lot of people have a very hard time with in their lives. It does suck when your entire day is thrown off though.
This may be silly, but: what if you inserted a "window" or amount-of-time (say, an hour range) time-frame clause in your mental contract with yourself when you schedule things to do? So, if you fail to wake up at the ideal 8:00 AM, but wake up at 9:00 AM, you're still ok and within range. It may allow you to feel more flexible.
I think this is sort of subconsciously what I do.
posted by millipede at 10:41 AM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]