Help me write a memorable enough wedding toast!
August 13, 2014 6:53 PM Subscribe
How do I write a memorable, but not too memorable wedding toast? I've looked at previous questions
, and looked online but I'm having a trouble due to complicating factors.
One of my best friends is getting married this weekend and I'm the witness. I'm very happy for the couple. It's going to be a pretty formal/fancy wedding at a nice venue, though I also think (knowing the couple) it will be as laid back as can be given all the wedding rituals.
There are three toasts scheduled. Groom's father, officiant (bride's best friend), and then me as "the witness" (and groom's best friend). The officiant is a professional writer, so I'm sure he will have this down. I'm not a great writer and I'm terrible with sharing emotions, so I've been trying to research how to make a toast without it being a train wreck yet still get my love and respect for the couple across.
The complicating factors are - 1. A lot of the stuff I've read doesn't address some of the pitfalls of a woman friend of the groom toasting the couple. I was reminded how gendered traditional weddings tend to be. I don't feel comfortable being very bro-like, though I do often struggle with sharing emotion. There's also a running gag in our friendship of people getting the wrong idea about us. I don't want to refer to this because it's pretty stupid, though the groom was the witness at my wedding. (OK this is minor compared to the other factor.) 2. I met the groom when I was a teenager (over 15 years ago) and most of our stories involve his first wife who passed away 5 years ago. So while I want to describe how long and deep our friendship is, and how truly happy he now is, I need to do so in a way that doesn't bring up his deceased wife (who was also one of my closest friends). I don't want to say anything that might put a weird cast on the day, especially because it's the bride's first wedding and I really care for her and know that would upset her. I know this can be done but I can't get around the mental block of it.
So help me Metafilter! How can I write a good wedding toast that won't reference my dead friend, but also help paint a full picture of my friend the groom while telling the story without bringing too much of the past?