Why do I feel guilty for not wanting a Wedding?
January 17, 2010 3:42 AM Subscribe
Minimalist vow-exchangers: any regrets later on not having a wedding?
posted by blazingunicorn to Human Relations (70 answers total) 33 users marked this as a favorite
My fiancé is moving to the states in a few months, and per his visa, we're getting married within 90 days of his arrival. We're both in tight financial straits right now, since he makes pesos and I'm unemployed. I'm also pretty disgusted with the wedding industry--it's so materialistic, financially irresponsible, and seems like a lot of women just use weddings to fulfill ridiculous, cheesy fantasies about being a princess for the day.
We both just love each other so much that the details of the one day seem irrelevant compared to all of the actual marriage planning we've been doing. Ideally, I'd just like my immediate family and a photographer there; none of his friends or family can afford to a visa to the U.S., let alone plane tickets. Since I'm an introvert and was out of the country for a few years, my local social circle is small, and don't even know who I'd invite without it feeling a bit awkward to me. (I have had friends ask about it, but I just shoo them away by saying we're just going to exchange vows privately.)
I'd so much rather save the money we'd use on a wedding and have a months-long honeymoon, but I also don't want to kick myself in a few years. Has anyone ever exchanged vows in the most basic way possible and ever regretted it later? Why do I feel guilty for not wanting a capital-W Wedding: am I watching too much Sex and the City?