Help me gay marry!
March 1, 2010 9:57 AM   Subscribe

DC gay marriage begins tomorrow! I happen to be registered to officiate weddings in DC, and I'd love to help out anyone who wants to be among the first to celebrate this wonderful development. Problem is, I don't know how to get the word out.

DC will begin granting marriage licenses to all beginning on Tuesday, March 2! They've released the gender-neutral application. As with all DC marriages, couples must indicate their officiant (or opt for a civil ceremony) at the time of application. There's a 3-day waiting period before the license can be picked up, and a longer wait for civil ceremonies, due to scheduling issues.

Going by the example of California (and other municipalities), it seems like a good idea for folks to get hitched as quickly as possible, to minimize the effects of any future revocation. A few years ago, I went through the trouble to get registered to perform weddings in DC, and actually have performed (a hetero) one.

I'd love to help out the cause here, too, and am not looking to make any money. But how do I let folks know? I've considered going down to the courthouse tomorrow and handing out cards, but that might look sketchy. My wife and I got some fleeting fame in the community due to a sign we carried at October's National Equality March--any way to leverage that?
posted by MrMoonPie to Human Relations (57 answers total) 22 users marked this as a favorite
Best answer: If I were you I'd
  • put up information about it on any pages you have access to that mention you and your sign from the march
  • put an ad in whatever the local alt weekly and LGBT weekly is
  • call a D.C. meetup and invite D.C. area mefites to get married and/or bring their friends who want to get married
posted by ocherdraco at 10:03 AM on March 1, 2010

Best answer: Facebook, Facebook, Facebook. Nobody reads the GLBT weekly papers anymore.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 10:05 AM on March 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Oh, and of course you should make a post about it on your own blog. If you do, please post a link in-thread.
posted by ocherdraco at 10:06 AM on March 1, 2010

Best answer: Post in the craigslist forums.
posted by deezil at 10:15 AM on March 1, 2010

Just posted it on my facebook.
posted by Ironmouth at 10:15 AM on March 1, 2010

Response by poster: OK, blogged it. My blog is linked with my facebook account, so the post will show up there. When it does, I'll share it liberally.
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:18 AM on March 1, 2010

Best answer: Go comment in the DCist thread!
posted by JoanArkham at 10:21 AM on March 1, 2010

(Er, I guess you already did...)
posted by JoanArkham at 10:26 AM on March 1, 2010

Response by poster: Done, Joan.

Not so familiar with craigslist--which forums?
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:35 AM on March 1, 2010

Can't link you here, but if you go to the craigslist page for Washington DC, there should be the forums in the lower left, and you'll find the forums you are looking for. You might also post something in the Gigs section in the middle offering your services.
posted by deezil at 11:33 AM on March 1, 2010

The forums you are looking for being the LGBT forums in there.
posted by deezil at 11:33 AM on March 1, 2010

Response by poster: Hee! Just got interviewed by Washington CityPaper!
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:59 AM on March 1, 2010

Response by poster: Done, deezil.
posted by MrMoonPie at 12:04 PM on March 1, 2010


Try posting in the DC board on weddingbee? Or on the LGBT board (is there one?). Or ditto for indielbride. Or weddingbee classifieds - even if you charge no fees. Ditto for the Knot.

I'd try to hit the other local blogs, too, I.e. Frozen Tropics and Prince of Petworth. And could you contact the Washingtonian? They have a lovely new wedding magazine; maybe they could do a piece on gay marriage in DC, and interview you? Ditto for the local version of Brides magazine.

Contact local wedding planners - esp. the new LGBT planners - and let them know.
posted by semacd at 12:33 PM on March 1, 2010

Rockin' dude.

Good luck!
posted by deezil at 12:46 PM on March 1, 2010

Best answer: post it to the DC PFLAG facebook group.
posted by nadawi at 12:51 PM on March 1, 2010

Response by poster: Oh, my!
posted by MrMoonPie at 12:57 PM on March 1, 2010 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: Done, nadawi.
posted by MrMoonPie at 2:40 PM on March 1, 2010

Well done, sir.
posted by tangerine at 2:43 PM on March 1, 2010

I guess this one should be marked 'resolved' at this point, but do come back and let us know if you get any business!
posted by semacd at 2:51 PM on March 1, 2010

MrMoonPie you may also throw it over into the marriage & LTR boards as well. (home now, can link, thanks for the checkmark)
posted by deezil at 3:15 PM on March 1, 2010

I tweeted it!!
posted by headspace at 4:09 PM on March 1, 2010

This makes me happy.
posted by Brittanie at 5:33 PM on March 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Good for you :)
posted by you're a kitty! at 7:33 PM on March 1, 2010

Response by poster: I've just been contacted by someone wanting my services! Oh boy!
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:17 AM on March 2, 2010 [2 favorites]

posted by ocherdraco at 8:27 AM on March 2, 2010

Response by poster: Slight delay--license applications will be accepted starting Wednesday, making the first day to get married Tuesday the 9th. We're trying to arrange an 8:30 am, first-out-of-the-courthouse deal!
posted by MrMoonPie at 9:07 AM on March 2, 2010

Response by poster: 3 couples now, and I was just contacted about being shadowed by a TV reporter on the big day!
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:52 PM on March 2, 2010 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: 7 couples for sure now, and I've been told that my name is being passed around to folks who might not have known they'd need to list someone at the time of applcation, so there's sure to be more.

Thanks, AskMetafilter!
posted by MrMoonPie at 6:52 AM on March 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: 14!
posted by MrMoonPie at 9:54 AM on March 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Things are settling into place. I have 6 confirmed appointments on Tuesday, with 1 more possible. The folks who wanted to get married first thing reconsidered, and are having a more formal ceremony later in the month. One couple happens to be friends with David Catania, the city councilman who sponsored the legislation, so we're having their ceremony in his office Tuesday afternoon. I'm told a news crew will be waiting to speak with us afterwards.

I have 7 more ceremonies in the following days and weeks, some at homes, some at various parks and plazas in DC, some family gatherings, some quick signings.

I'm incredibly grateful for the help of the metafilter community, and am humbled to be able to be a part of this.
posted by MrMoonPie at 8:11 AM on March 5, 2010 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: Don't mean to be over-moderating this thread, but I do want to give updates. I performed 8 weddings Tuesday, and have something like 10 more spread out over March (and spilling into April). There wasn't any news coverage, but a friend of mine came along and took a bunch of pictures, which I'll post at some point.

Amazing--thanks for helping me to get the word out.
posted by MrMoonPie at 5:31 AM on March 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

Dude, these updates are amazing! Keep 'em coming, and don't forget to post the pictures.
posted by ocherdraco at 7:18 AM on March 10, 2010

Response by poster: 12 down, 8 to go.
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:51 AM on March 12, 2010

Response by poster: Pictures! And another on my blog.
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:54 AM on March 12, 2010

How exciting! What a lovely wedding!
posted by ocherdraco at 12:13 PM on March 12, 2010

Response by poster: 13 down, 15 to go!
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:23 AM on March 16, 2010

15 to go? Wow, you're very popular! Will this be remembered as "The Year Mr. MoonPie Officiated 30ish Weddings"?
posted by ocherdraco at 2:51 PM on March 16, 2010

You're my hero for today. I'm so proud to be part of this community.
posted by yiftach at 8:40 AM on March 17, 2010

Response by poster: 15 done. Three more tonight, and one over the weekend.
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:50 AM on March 19, 2010

Response by poster: 20. 2-0. Wow.
posted by MrMoonPie at 3:23 PM on March 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: It's been one month now. 29 marriages, including the one this evening on the steps of the Botanic Gardens. One coming up Sunday, too.
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:25 PM on April 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

MrMoonPie, just wanted to come back to the thread to see the updates, and I'm in awe of the awesomeness. Good for you, and I'm glad you've helped so many people realize their dreams.
posted by deezil at 4:10 PM on April 10, 2010

Response by poster: 35 now!

Last night's was hetero--I know, weird. I've met some wonderful people, heard some incredible stories, and gotten some nice gifts, including a hand-made Native American frame drum. I wed a couple that was 38.5 weeks pregnant, who moved to DC for the summer so they could get married and have the baby where they'd both have full legal parental and medical rights. I wed a couple from a rural state I won't even mention who were worried about losing thier jobs if anyone back home found out. And lots and lots of regular folks.

I've also gotten several other people authorized to do weddings, to lighten the workload. I have started charging a small fee sometimes, especially for the bigger-deal fancy weddings, but, of course, no one will be turned away if they can't pay.
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:09 AM on April 29, 2010 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: #40 tonight! Two weddings, actually, for couples who have been together a combined total of 36 years.
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:11 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: #42 tomorrow, a Spaceballs-themed wedding. At the Newseum. I will be in costume.
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:33 PM on May 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: There's a new Washington Citypaper follow-up blog post about me!
posted by MrMoonPie at 6:36 AM on May 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Those of you in DC should be sure to pick up a copy of the Washington City Paper next week--the reporter who did the blog posts is supposed to have a longer article in the print version, not just about me, but she and a photographer came along on one of my guerilla-style weddings yesterday.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:37 PM on June 4, 2010

Response by poster: Oh, look--it's online now. Lots of stuff about other people, then a few paragraphs about me at the end.
posted by MrMoonPie at 4:05 PM on June 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Still reading? #48 is Wednesday. My wife has gotten herself registered to officiate, and has done a half-dozen or so. I'm doing about two a month these days, so I'll hit 50 soon!
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:23 PM on June 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: I just performed my 50th wedding.

posted by MrMoonPie at 4:14 PM on July 23, 2010 [5 favorites]

Definitely still reading! Great that you're both doing it now.
posted by tangerine at 1:17 PM on July 28, 2010

Response by poster: eviltiff has 5 weddings in the next 5 days, and a website. This was...unexpected.
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:35 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Guess it's time for another update.

I ended up doing 52 weddings. My wife has pretty much taken up the reins now. I'm still getting requests, but eviltiff wanted a part-time job, and jumped in with gusto. She's now done over 60, and has dates planned well into next year.

While I ended up charging $50 for simple (very, very simple) ceremonies, my wife has gotten more into the planning side of things, and charges accordingly. Since DC has the strange 3-day (which is really 5-day) waiting period, she'll file paperwork for out-of-town couples, so they only have to show up on the day of the ceremony. She's been approached about doing everything remotely, but DC is frowning on that.

All in all, it's been a wild year. Thank you, MetaFilter, for helping us to get this all going.
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:24 AM on December 20, 2010 [5 favorites]

eviltiff's blog is almost like a collection of wedding haikus.
posted by ocherdraco at 2:43 PM on December 20, 2010

Response by poster: Final count for 2010--120 weddings between the two of us.

This time last year, I had no idea either of us would be doing any weddings at all. What the hell is going to happen in 2011?
posted by MrMoonPie at 8:12 AM on January 1, 2011 [4 favorites]

Response by poster: Want a really random spinoff? The Dutch exchange student who stayed with us in high school--I'm talking 1981--is now living in Colorado, and has asked me to perform his (incidentally not-gay) wedding there.

I mean, of course, but, what?
posted by MrMoonPie at 4:43 PM on January 25, 2011

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