To gift or not to gift?
July 17, 2014 11:18 AM Subscribe
I'm invited to an engagement party. From preliminary research, it appears it's up to me whether or not to give a present... But I need some help figuring this out. Old friend, just meeting her fiance, casual engagement party, will not be invited to wedding.
posted by DoubleLune to Human Relations (14 answers total)
So the bride is a childhood friend of mine, and we were neighbors. Our families were close when we were growing up, but once college age hit we didn't see much of each other. Additionally, she's spend much of the last few years abroad, met her fiancé abroad, and will be moving there permanently.
Because their wedding will be abroad, this engagement party is the US celebration of their wedding (which is in September). I'd like to give her something, since our friendship runs so far back, but I don't really know her taste anymore, and I won't meet her fiancé until the party. I fall on both sides in terms of gifting according to etiquette blogs -- there are reasons for and reasons against. Additionally, since they will be flying home, material gifts would be difficult for them. They've asked people to bring food to the engagement party potluck style as well, so is that intended to substitute for any gift giving?
My best idea so far is to knit them a blanket and send it to them as more of a wedding present. The complication here is the price -- her fiancé is a textile designer, and I would be ashamed to use anything other than high-quality (and thus expensive) yarn, and I blanket takes quite a lot. I also don't know their styles, and don't want to put weeks and weeks of work into something that would be tossed in the back of a closet.