Engagement ring etiquette.
May 11, 2014 10:27 AM Subscribe
I know next to nothing about weddings, so I'm looking for advice to successfully support one of my best friends who is having a disagreement with her soon-to-be fiance about who gets to pick the ring out.
posted by tenaciousmoon to Society & Culture (54 answers total)
They: Discussed getting engaged and he is to propose within the next year.
He: Told her to pick out a ring, find out her size and he'd buy it and set up a romantic proposal.
She: Spent 2 weeks picking out a practical ring, a simple filigree band that she could wear even while she worked (has a job where she works with her hands) and that fits her lifestyle (very active/involved in sports) and that would double as both her engagement and wedding ring. She is in love with this ring.
In the mean time his mother offered her old wedding ring to him(she has since divorced), to use instead and he took his mom up on the offer and accepted this ring to give without consulting her. His mom is not really involved in their life other than twice a year at family dinners, so this is not some big family sentimental custom.
The ring is not to her taste and she can not wear it during her work or sport because the large set diamonds would be a danger and catch. She is also disappointed that despite his 6 figure wage that he is giving her a "free" ring, and that the ring came from a failed, unhappy marriage. She is the one to wear it every day for the rest of her life, she wants to like the ring, she argues.
He thinks she is being unreasonable and "princess-like" and insists that it's usually the man who picks out the ring to propose with. He does not want to disappoint his mom. He says he'll get her the other ring she picked out "later" but won't elaborate on what later means.
Aside from my personal feelings that this does not bode well for their future, What is supposed happen here, etiquette-wise.