Should I try to undo this?
June 12, 2014 6:48 PM Subscribe
Well, here is a little more of me being neurotic about romantic relationships. (I have long forgotten about the crush I asked my last question about.) Yesterday, I was surprise asked out by email by a guy I have met a couple of times. I hadn't thought of him that way, and had no idea he was interested, but thought about it, decided my evaluation of what I knew so far was that he seemed like a sweet person, and said yes. (And then changed my mind.)
posted by picardythird to Human Relations (28 answers total)
We emailed back and forth a bit about logistics. He said he liked me (obvious from the asking out, but nice to hear). I didn't reciprocate that exact sentiment since I realize I don't actually know him at all, but said him asking me out was a nice surprise. Then in his next email, he wrote, "By the way, I'm assuming then that you like me, too. That makes me feel good."
That really weirded me out for some reason--I barely know you, and you are already asking me to declare my feelings about you? It seemed like a combination of pushy and insecure. This morning I wrote him back and nicely explained that I had changed my mind, and got a polite/friendly response.
Now I am second guessing myself. Maybe this was my gut telling me something valuable. Or maybe it was just an awkward comment intended as flirting? English is not his first language (which could explain why it sounded odd). I am also somewhat overwhelmed with my life right now and the idea of getting together with someone I barely know for a date was anxiety-inducing when I was thinking about it this morning. Although maybe it would be fun.
So I have two questions:
(1) Was his comment as weird as I thought it was? I mean, obviously it was cringe-inducing to me, but how would you have taken it?
(2) Let's say I decided I did want a date with this seemingly nice, attractive person after all and was going to try to salvage the situation: what would you say if you were me?