Should I continue pursuing her?
June 10, 2014 3:10 AM Subscribe
Basically, there is this girl I really really like, and there are a few things that tell me that the feelings are mutual.
But she has already told me... twice... That she just wants to be friends with me.
The way she acts with me doesn't match what she says though.
posted by AbePlaysGuitar to Human Relations (74 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
*** First off, let me start by saying that this girl is 17 years old, and I'm 27. So we might have a problem right there. But the reason I still think it could happen is because I've seen couples being successful, and they started dating when either of them were really young. ***
So it's been on and off with this girl for the past few months (she will turn 18 in 3 months, and I wasn't pretending to date her before that, but it's something I was willing to talk to her about). For about one month, we were going out on dates. A few times. We holded hands almost every time we saw each other. And I don't think that a girl would accept my dates if she wasn't at least a little bit interested.
We always talked about stuff. And even in the small details, it made me feel like there's something that could happen. Again, little details. Example: She likes the music I listen to in the car, which is very important to me, since I'm a musician. She likes the music to be loud as well, just as I do. She likes to walk fast, and I do too. She told me she even likes the way I smell, which I think is good.
We talked for hours when we were together, we never ran out of subjects. And the way she thinks, it's something I've not seen in a girl I've had some chemistry with, and it's little things about the way she sees life, etc, that are JUST what I'm looking for in a girl.
Well, long story short, the day came, and she brought it up saying "my best friend and my mom have been asking me about you," and maybe I should have listened to her first, but I took the chance, since she brought it up, and I told her I was interested in a long term relationship with her.
And, that's when she told me she only wants to be friends.
So, after accepting all my dates, holding hands with me (even inside the movie theater. Twice), she tells me that? Well then, I told her I would be away from her for a while since she didn't feel the same way.
Something is not matching here, and I've been reading dating books the past few weeks to see what's going on, if I did something wrong. Maybe I was too much of a nice guy? Maybe I wasn't as cocky/funny with her, and it bore her? Or maybe she's playing with me because I have a car, and I'm older, etc etc etc...
Is this worth pursuing? I think I'm in love to be honest with you guys. I can't take that girl out of my head. And yeah. Any feedback/experience, is fully appreciated. I really really like this girl. Thanks again!