Misophonia with brother-in-law
May 30, 2014 3:37 PM Subscribe
My sister has a very nice husband who is a loud and emphatic chewer, who smacks his lips and says "mmmmm" upon putting anything in his mouth ever, and who always seems to be eating or drinking something he wants to share the experience of (I recognize this is not actually true, but it feels true). I have mild misophonia that centers around chewing sounds, and kind of want to throttle him or myself when this happens. I love my sister and her kid and even this guy when he's not having these table manners, but I find it really unpleasant to be around him during those times and it's very hard for me to actually enjoy a meal when we're eating it together. What should I do?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (26 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
This is making me short-tempered around mealtimes and I think may be starting to give him the impression that I don't like him, when really it's his table habits I just can't deal with. We're currently all on vacation together with my parents, and are eating at least one big meal together a day which is our major opportunity to hang out as a family. Most of the time, we're across the country from one another and this isn't an issue!
We're here for a few more days, and I'm wondering what I should do. My sister and I can have pretty emotionally honest conversations but I haven't brought this up, in no small part because I know it's not his problem really: not only is he about 15 years older than me (I'm in my late 20s) and unlikely to change, it's my reaction, not his behavior, that is the problem. Have you dealt with this? What should I do to reduce my reactions or cope with the situation better? I don't want to be rude or snappish but I'm struggling to improve the situation. This is not really a problem that has arisen on this level with anyone else in my life ever.