I agreed to be a bridesmaid for a friend who wants her bridesmaids to be a lot more present (physically) than I am going to be able to in the lead-up to the wedding. What do I do now?
I agreed to be a bridesmaid a month ago, before I knew what the dates were going to look like (my fault.) I got an email earlier this week with the dates, and, um...
As bridesmaids, I need you to be at all of these events, so please make sure you get the time off now so you're able to participate in all the fun!
The dress-shopping excursion has already happened, and she knew I couldn't attend that (and was fine with it/has been coordinating with me on when/how to buy my dress.) The other events (bridal shower, bachelorette party, oddly enough no set rehearsal date?) are spread over the course of a month. I don't have the money to fly back and forth repeatedly, and I don't have the vacation time to leave work for a month. As it is, making both the bachelorette party and the wedding (two weeks apart) is something I will try
to swing but can't guarantee in any way.
Obviously, the first step is going to have to be calling my friend and hashing out exactly what expectations there are and whether I can do them at all. I'm looking for advice on how to make that conversation go as smoothly as possible, minimizing hurt feelings or stress. I've read this
previously for ideas on things I can do to be involved without physically being there, but if it is really important to her to have a bridal party that can be around and doing things in the lead-up...well, I'm not going to be able to give her that. I figured I'd also offer to buy the dress for a back-up bridesmaid, if that winds up having to be a thing, since the social dress-shopping event already happened and it'd make it a little easier to find someone to step in if there's already a dress paid-for.
I'm pretty out of my depth here. The only other wedding I've "been in" was my father and stepmother's, which consisted of going with them to the courthouse, signing the witness form, and taking some pictures. Hope me.