How to End or Change a Coaching Relationship?
May 13, 2014 7:17 AM Subscribe
For the last few years, I've been seeing a life coach. She's been great in helping me to gain perspective, address certain problems in my life and in my own habits. Overall, it's been great and I think I could still benefit from the coaching. The problem is that, recently, I've lost a ton of respect for her. Details within!
I started working with my coach to redo her website back last fall and it has been nothing but a nightmare. I suggested it thinking we'd be done everything in three, maybe four weeks, but it's dragged on and on and on AND ON. I'm not blameless, but the majority of the issues are related to my coach changing her mind CONSTANTLY, even once I've double and even triple-checked to make sure "this is what you want, right?". As such, I've become frustrated. I've always remained very professional with her when discussing her site and I've even hiked up my quoted price, which she's paid without issue or complaint.
However, throughout this trying process, I've found that I've lost a ton of respect for her because she has been such a, for lack of a better word, flake about things. Not only that, but she seems completely incapable of understanding the most basic things I'm talking about with regards to her website. We're having some serious issues understanding each other despite my attempts and great efforts to be clear about things. (She's in her 50s, so she's not as technologically savvy, which I knew going into things.) The problem is that I can't understand how she's not understanding things!
I have some issues in general, but one of them is that I have very little patience for people who I perceive to not be "smart". Until this whole website fiasco, I thought my coach was smart, funny, insightful and really "together". Now, I can't stop thinking of her as "my nightmare client", even though she's been nothing but a wonderful coach to me.
I typically see her every couple of weeks, but after the latest set of changes for her website, I don't want to see her for a while -- perhaps forever. Obviously, I'd still handle finishing up the site (it's live now, there are just "a few changes" she'd like to make), but I can't see how I can make myself go see her and take her seriously after the last couple of weeks leading up to the site going live. I'm actually due to see her tomorrow, but I can't bear the thought of it.
Clearly, I need to be telling HER this and, in fact, I recognize how strange it is to be asking strangers on the Internet about it, so I do intend to do so. My question is how to phrase things? How to convey to her that I need (at least) a break from the coaching relationship?
Ideally, I'd rather not let her know that my lack of desire to see her as a coach has anything to do with her being a terrible client for me. I realize that may not be possible, especially with the timing of things. She may not be so smart about website things, but she's not a total moron.
Any thoughts you have would be greatly appreciated.