Was I out of line in having this conversation during a bachelorette?
April 25, 2014 2:40 PM Subscribe
Friend invited her ex-boyfriend to her bachelorette event. During the event, he revealed to a few of the attendees that he still has feelings for her. Bride became angry at each of us for indulging in this conversation. Was I out of line?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (31 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I have a friend "Sammy" who got married recently. Prior to the wedding, Sammy held a bachelorette event with both men and women invited. One of the attendees was her ex-boyfriend "Jake". Sammy's fiance was uncomfortable at the idea of Jake being at the bachelorette event, but didn't object.
During the bachelorette event, Sammy was very nice to Jake, occasionally touching him affectionately, tearing up when talking to him, etc.
At one time, Sammy was in a different part of the room out of earshot. Jake told me and a few other friends about his feelings for Sammy. He said that he still felt unresolved, and felt strange about her wedding. We asked him to elaborate, and had a 15-minute conversation about it. Other people from the bachelorette event were walking in and out past our conversation during this time.
When Sammy found out later about this conversation, she became very angry. She contacted each of us to shout at us for having such an inappropriate conversation during the weekend meant to celebrate her wedding. She said that we showed poor judgement in having this conversation about an ex-boyfriend in front of other friends who were there to toast her future.
I feel resentful at being yelled at. My view is that if she didn't want this type of conversation, she shouldn't have invited the ex-boyfriend and acted affectionately toward him. She knew full well that he still has feelings, and she invited him anyway.
Her view is that she's free to invite whomever she wants, and it's up to us to behave in a socially appropriate manner. She thinks we showed poor judgement and behaved inappropriately.
What do you think, MeFites?