Say this, not that
December 27, 2013 4:56 AM Subscribe
Recently I discovered some great phrases that work much better than the standard response to a situation, and was wondering if anyone had any others.
posted by Calicatt to Human Relations (32 answers total) 252 users marked this as a favorite
Instead of "Are you OK?" ask...
"Are you feeling sad/mad/upset/nauseous?" --my automatic reply to Are you OK is I'M FINE, even when it is not so. Asking about the more specific feeling opens the door to talk.
Instead of asking "What do you do?" or "What's your job?" at a party ask...
"How do you spend your time?" or "how did you spend your time today?" This 1) lets people off the hook if they dont have a job or don't liked their job 2) opens it up for people to describe their occupation, or at least the parts of it they find most interesting 3) opens it up for them to talk about their hobbies/family/travels/ whatever is really important to them.
(To rambunctious teens, who I have to manage as part of my job)
Instead of "Will you please stop ______" say...
"Knock it off"--generally trying to describe the behavior makes you sound silly (will you please stop running around yelling woopwoop?) and a polite but firm "knock it off" has done wonders