At the risk of sounding super ironically lame, I ask: how can I be cool?
April 2, 2014 8:51 PM Subscribe
I’m 22 year old female EXTROVERT. Super passionate, emotional, awkward. I feel like I have always had a reputation for being kind of lame, awkward and in general a bit strange. I’m not overall socially awkward, but I have pretty big strokes of it: so at parties I can be perceived as being the life of the party, able to talk to everyone and I will have a great time making everyone laugh, I love to dance so I’ll be dancing with everyone--but I’ll come on too strong, or I’ll say something really awkward or I’ll be way too loud and kind of ruin it. I can also be way too TMI, too earnest, too heart-on-the-sleeves, emotionally vulnerable.
posted by rhythm_queen to Human Relations (25 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
Growing up I was bullied quite a lot for having an accent, being a cry-baby, being too nerdy. Moving to Canada was incredibly hard, too. I feel like though I’m truly pretty confident, my past low self esteem has left a LOT of remnants, making me not ‘cool’ enough.
I’m also just generally often anxious which makes things a lot worse. I have been told many times, and not always in a good way, that people have never met someone like me, that I’m super energetic, awkward, exhausting, intense as all hell...and sometimes when it’s positive, exciting, exhilarating, surprisingly adventurous, fun-loving etc.
How can I be cooler? How can I cool it all down? I think my personality would be a lot more attractive to people if I were less...intense and insane. If I could tone it down, hone the energy and personality to something more positive and perceived as really cool rather than “way too much” and “way too weird”
I’ve been going to a counsellor for anxiety in general, which has helped tremendously, but there aren’t any counsellors to help you be ‘cooler’, are they? I know age will help, and HAS helped a bit, but I’m moving out and will be in the downtown party/socializing networking scene a lot more in both professional and recreational settings. Toning down my energy would really help!
Thanks so much as usual.