The Thin Line Between Preference and Prejudice
March 28, 2014 1:18 PM Subscribe
I think I don't like performing oral sex on my girlfriend anymore because she's gained a bit of weight. What do I do here?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (45 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I love giving oral sex. When I am dating someone regularly, I perform it about 2-3 times per day depending upon the type of access I have to them during the day. My girlfriends have loved it. Who wouldn't love this?
I've been dating someone for a little under a year now. We went at it like rabbits in the beginning. I was going down on her no less than 5 times a day. Over the last few months she's gained about 30 pounds because of a change in lifestyle (more sedentary role at work, and she has free access to gourmet food in its cafeteria). When she started complaining to me about her clothes not fitting, I brought up her weight gain. She told me that she's ok with it, the most annoying aspect being that she now has to shop for new clothes. Fast forward a few weeks later and I just could not go down on her. In the days prior, I had been thinking how it want even pleasurable for me anymore. Then I just couldn't do it.
It's been almost 10 days since I have gone down on her. Nobody has brought anything up, but she's kinda on edge and so am I. Other people have mentioned it to us, and that was my wake up call, hence the post. What do I do? Should I just buck up and keep trying it, even though I am kind of disgusted by how unattractive her areas are to me now? Should I just stop? How do I broach the subject and say something that doesn't make me look like an asshole? I'm being the asshole here, right?
Oh, and I've thought about what I would do if the problem was age rather than weight. What am I going to do when she's in her 40's, 50's...I thought hard about this and figured it would be gradual. We'd both also lose our libidos slowly; it wouldn't be a complete abrupt stop. I still want to be with her. I just don't want to go down on her anymore. If that isn't a part of our relationship anymore, that's ok with me. I want to be with her even if I never get to taste her again. I'm just wondering how she's going to feel and what she's going to say when it finally hits her that I'm not servicing her anymore like I used to.