GSOH is killing my love life.
February 10, 2014 8:09 AM Subscribe
My stepson revealed the greatest stressors in his life is my self-deprecating sense of humor. What can I say?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (53 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
My personal and joint goal with my partner is for her to do the parenting and for me to be an aide and support, a cleaner, a nurse, a husband, etc. Their dad is useless and a deadbeat with no rights but who his two children feel a responsibility toward and are often outwardly disappointed about. My sense of humor is very dry. I run my business with a silent partner I only see once a quarter and because I work alone in sales I use self-satire as a dynamic to work harder.
I am not the anti dad or competing for love. I met their mom randomly, and we had a long distance relationship for almost a year before I moved in. I have my own business and work from home, so I see the boys when they get home and make them snacks but also steer clear of them and give them space as requested and when required.
The change in attitude, especially of the older boy, has made working at home almost impossible. I have nowhere else I can take the business now except to close it and move on to something that will take me completely out of the house for 8-10+ hours everyday. My girlfriend suggests that ideally I find a job that will take me out of the house for 72 hours or more each week, possibly including nights away. It makes me sad because my partner and I were comfortable with the live-work arrangement. We both work, if that makes a difference. Older stepson is sexually active and a high achiever, which I think makes it harder to know who is responsible for his depression. Younger one is okay and is a big advocate for me being there when he gets home and for my business.
I am prepared to compromise to working away but I do not think I can change my sense of humor. All I can think of is trying to minimize confrontations by not being there. I do not wish to break up with his mother because our love is very personal and fulfilling. I would like to tell my stepson that I will do anything it takes to make his life better but there are some things I cannot change about myself but can only hope he can ignore or not be around when I exercise them. Any advice is welcome to firstname.lastname@example.org