Can I expect my partner to distance himself from someone who hurt me?
August 20, 2012 12:07 PM Subscribe
You have been in a healthy relationship for a long time? Help me figuring out how to feel and what to do about a conflict of interest between my partner and me concerning a third person.
posted by anonymous to human relations (21 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
My partner and I work at the same place. I recently had a conflict with another co-worker and friend. Even though I have made my best effort to resolve the conflict, the co-worker seems to have chosen to ignore me instead of facing his feelings and me. My partner continues to be friends with the co-worker and they work together on several projects. I find myself being increasingly hurt by this. I would like to move on but am constantly reminded of the initial hurt during the conflict with the co-worker because he is in my partner's life. I also grow increasingly agitated about the fact that my partner does not stand up for me against the co-worker/former friend. I can't quite figure out what I feel exactly but there is disappointment and a feeling of betrayal in the mix. If you can relate to this situation, help me figure out what I feel, and do you think I am allowed to expect my partner to distance himself from a person with whom I am having a conflict?