Why is my boyfriend's behavior so inconsistent?
December 26, 2013 11:23 PM Subscribe
Do other people see this as normal, or am I clueless because I've never had children?
posted by femmefatale123 to Human Relations (26 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I have been dating a man for about 2 years. He is divorced and has 3 grown children, who are 26 (son), 28 (daughter), and 31 (son). I am divorced and have no children.
I got to see him some during the holiday season, but most of the entire week is centered around his adult kids. I have family locally and out of town, but I worked to accommodate his and his kids' schedule so we could be together some.
The main issue I have regards his behavior when his daughter, who lives about 10 hours away, is in town. He and I generally spend each weekend together, but when she is in town, he doesn't want me to stay at his house. It's fine for me to stay over if it's just one or both of his sons, which happens sometimes--but not his daughter. Also, when he goes to visit her, he goes alone.
I would like to see him a little more during Christmas. I'm not asking him to prioritize his kids over me; I just want to be included more. I like his kids, by the way, and as far as I know, they all like me.
The reason I am hurt about not being allowed to stay over during this time obviously has nothing to do with sex but more about closeness. As I said, I was married before, and one of the things I miss is having someone with whom to spend holiday evenings and wake up together the next morning.
This year his daughter brought her boyfriend along, but I'm pretty sure they aren't sleeping together because so far they haven't stayed at his house but at their maternal grandmother's. I thought it might be different this year at Christmas because she brought her boyfriend along, and because he and I have been seeing each other now for about 2 years. I am afraid things will never change.