How to Talk to My Boss
December 17, 2013 6:09 AM Subscribe
There was an incident last week. I have a 1-on-1 with my boss today, and I think I should bring it up with him. How should I bring it up, or is bringing it up a bad idea? Snowflakes inside.
posted by Garm to Work & Money (18 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I work in support for a small-ish company with two other people, manning the phones. Lately, I've been working on a new project. I've gone out of my way to get input from my two co-workers.
On Friday, they closed the door and had a kind of office intervention with me. It was very aggressive. They called me sneaky, secretive, underhanded, untrustworthy, etc. It lasted about an hour. They said that I had been refusing to share information with them and not consulting them (both demonstrably false, documented even). I apologized, tried to explain my perspective (they did not seem interested), and said that I could see how they felt and that I would work on it. I asked why they used some of those words above, but I did not get an explanation on how I had been sneaky or underhanded. The best I can figure, it seems to have been a bottled up ask vs. guess culture thing, with some general job anxiety thrown in for good measure (things are changing at work).
After the 'meeting' on Friday, they seemed happy and placated. But today, neither of them neither of them would talk to me. We share a small office, and they are usually super chatty. At the meeting Friday, they asked stop working on the project, and that I not answer support emails (I answer them too quickly apparently. Meaning I answer them the same day.) So today, I mostly did nothing at all, except take a few phone calls, and sit in uncomfortable silence.
I should note that I have asked these two for contributions, both specific and general without success. I asked my boss what I should do about lack of buy-in on this project a few weeks ago, he said to just keep moving forward. So I did, I continued building the project, while keeping people updated and offering to help them contribute without any success.
Between the ambush, the hurtful words, and freeze out today, I'm feeling really uncomfortable. I have my monthly scheduled 1-on-1 meeting with my boss tomorrow. Should I bring this up to him? What should I say, and how? I really don't want more confrontation, and I really don't want to make the situation worse. But I can't just keep sitting in the office not talking to anyone and not doing any work. I'm scared that if I go to my boss, that will seem sneaky and underhanded, which is the last thing I need. I can't really imagine how telling him will make this any better either. But doing nothing seems like a bad option as well.
(Originally posted last night before the outage, the meeting is today. Please don't tell me to find another job.)