I have anxiety when it comes to doing #2. I was recently walked in when doing so at a previously safe spot. Now, I don't know if I can feel comfortable going poop again at the university.
So, I've posted about this before
, and took some of the very good advice posted. I was able to work out a reasonably good system - it happened that my previous group of roommates all worked during the day at regular 9-5 jobs, so I had the house to myself during the night, and would go do #2 then. This worked for a long while, and at times when I couldn't go at home for various reasons, I used a less-used restroom at my former university (which I live right by). This restroom was a private restroom in a bathroom full of stalls (I think the private toilet was designated for those in wheelchairs, etc). This was in a big school building.
Quite recently, things began to change, and not for the better. A new roommate moved in, and she's a night person as well, and doesn't work, so I could no longer feel comfortable going #2 at home during the night, due to her odd hours. I then resorted to using my university's bathroom everyday, using that private restroom - it worked well, as always, until I found out the lock on the door wasn't an actual lock, but rather one that could easily be unlocked using any key. It was simply a generic lock. That made me feel uncomfortable and in a way... "violated" - although I have been using that toilet since 2005 without any problems at all whatsoever. So, I moved to a new building, this one being a smaller building, and used a basement bathroom that was fully private, with a lock that was impossible to open generically. The basement was also literally deserted, without any people around at any given time, and had two doors leading to some kind of conference room, that, AFAIK, were never occupied. It was the perfect "hiding spot" for me to do #2 without the possibility to be disrupted... until now.
Today, I was doing my business as usual. I have this strange ritual (that makes me feel more comfortable) when I turn the lights off, switch my iPhone to Airplane Mode, and put my shirt over my head. This makes me feel much more "safer" and less "exposed" (if this makes any sense) to drop trou and do #2. While I was doing #2, the unthinkable happened. The door burst open, and a security officer was looking onto me. I'm sure I looked like a deer caught in headlights; I was in shock, and felt incredibly violated and confused. The officer left, and I gathered my things, cleaned up, and left, shaking.
A few things - why on earth would the security officer open an obviously locked bathroom? It couldn't have been left locked by accident; the lock was those kinds that pop unlocked when the door closes. The light being off wasn't obvious from the outside of the door, because the "hallway" light was on. The building wasn't closed yet. It was in a deserted area of the building, but that doesn't make me understand WHY the security officer would go about doing that... and now I don't know if I even feel comfortable going anywhere at the university. Using the trusty old building I have been using since 2005 without any problems at all probably would work, but I just feel shaky and violated right now, if that makes any sense - I feel like my sense of privacy has been taken away, for no reason. What makes the situation more sticky is that I'm not a student or staff at that university; I'm an alumni; so I'm not sure I'm even technically supposed to be at the university (although I've seen many alumni wandering around without incident, and security on that is supposedly lax). If I report what happened, they might just "twist" it into "well, you're not a student or staff, so technically, you really shouldn't even be using our facilities in the first place!"
What I'm asking is... theories why the security officer did that, how I should cope with this and unbrick (no pun intended) my anxiety to feel comfortable using the university's facilities again, and how to cope if this happens next time. I have awful anxiety issues around #2 and must not get any text messages or be interrupted in any way, so that's why I use my iPhone in airplane mode when doing #2, so being interrupted physically, let alone in a private bathroom for no reason, has left me traumatized. Therapy is an option I am pursuing, but I am very busy and it would be difficult to fit it in my schedule.
Thanks for your thoughts.